Saturday, July 23, 2016

Should I Quit Facebook?

I'm not the only person thinking that.  I asked Google, and got back 3,590,000 results.

Why would I ever want to quit Facebook?

I would miss being able to post pictures of my day lilies trying to teach us some life lessons.
Enjoy each day., says this lily.  Be true to yourself.

Well, to tell the truth, nowadays when I get on Facebook, what I stare at is hate.  Lots and lots of hate.  Mainly from friends in the United States, but some from overseas.

Name calling.

People wishing harm on other people.

People saying things that would have gotten their mouths washed out with soap had they grown up in my Mom's apartment in the 1950's.

I feel like I am slowly being poisoned.

I am not talking about normal political discussion.  I don't mind my Facebook friends being of different political persuasions.  What I do mind is the tone this discussion has taken on in the past few months.  Yes, we in America are scared, are frustrated, and are looking for answers.  I get all that.  I am frustrated and looking for answers, too.  And, I am scared of various directions my country, and its citizens, are taking.

I visited with some of my spouse's cousins the other day.  They have different political beliefs from my spouse and me.  But they are willing to listen and to ask questions, to find out where the other person is coming from.  One gave me some advice, and recommended I go through my timeline, and hide the posts that make me feel the way I do.

For some, it will need more than hiding. So far, I've blocked one person (several months ago - almost every post one of pure hate) and am seriously thinking of blocking a couple of more.

It's a shame.  What is happening on my timeline makes me think that I am now interacting with strangers.

I like some of these people who do these postings.  I know they aren't evil.  Perhaps  a form of temporary insanity has taken over.  I don't want to give Facebook up, I tell myself, over that.

I get a lot of news from Facebook.  Remember Friday's post, where I blogged about a young cousin of my spouse's?  I found out about his birth on Facebook.  Earlier this week, I found out the mother of someone I had known here locally (she has since moved) had passed away.

I found out a relative lost his job recently on Facebook.

I found out about Munich and Orlando from Facebook.

I find, more and more, businesses are on Facebook and don't update websites.  I depend on Facebook for farmers market happenings and more.

A lot of my blogging contacts come via Facebook.  The challenges I occasionally participate in require membership in Facebook.
I could wish we all could still discuss things without considering those who disagree with us as our mortal enemies.  Take these lilies, for example.

These day lilies are not your usual lilies.  But they co exist with the lily above, and the lily below.

Wishful thinking for a perfect world. But maybe not.  This lily, showing its beautiful peach color,  teaches us a lesson:

Life is too short.  Give life everything you have, and don't waste the time allotted you.

So this is my decision: Life really is too short to read my timeline without massive hiding of posts, although I may try it starting today.

What I have decided to do is mainly concentrate on some special interest groups (music, crocheting, blogging) I belong to.  I may not spend much time on my timeline. I will look for DMs, though, in case someone wants to contact me.

We'll see how it goes.

How do you feel about Facebook?

29 comments:

  1. I'm taking some time away from Facebook until maybe February 1. I check it for messages and birthdays, but that's it.

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    1. Still thinking about what is best. Thank you for your thoughts.

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  2. I agree - too many people posting hateful things that (I would hope) they wouldn't say in person, but the digital medium gives them "permission" to spout without looking someone in the eye. I have boldly unfollowed several people due to hateful things they post. I don't miss them. I figure I'm in charge of what I let into my brain, and I seek reasonable discourse with conversation, not ranting and yelling without listening. So yes, keep Facebook, but unfollow those whose posts hurt your eyes and your heart. Or even unfriend. Totally ok to do that. You can still be acquaintances, but you don't have to read their muck.

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    1. I'm thinking about taking your advice, because I'm already missing the good parts of Facebook. One of the people I would want to block, though, is someone I've known for a long time, and I know this person is a decent person otherwise. Decisions, decisions!

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  3. The unhinged hatred expressed by some on FB is truly appalling, and, like you, in some instances, I actually know these people and know that they are not terrible people. What possesses them to post such filth? I think it is the anonymity of FB and not being held accountable for one's actions. The id is unleashed. I have blocked any number of sites from my timeline and have even gone so far as to unfriend some people, but I'll probably continue on FB because I use it to stay connected with a number of distant relatives and friends.

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    1. I'm leaning towards your decision, Dorothy - I use Facebook extensively as a tool to keep in touch.

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  4. I am not on Facebook and have no intention of getting on it ever. It is bad enough that I see really hateful comments on blogs I follow or when I Google something. I do not need any of that in my life.

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    1. I am depending on Facebook more and more as a tool to keep in touch with people. I really don't want to quit it. I'll take some of the advice others have given me. The Internet really does bring out the worst in people; I can agree with you there.

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  5. I hear you. I have thought about the same thing. The hatred is so strong, but I have decided to 'fight it' with keeping my feed about Love. I have too many connections there which bring me Joy to give it up.

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    1. I have received some advice from other commenters. I am not going to quit Facebook but I am going to significantly cut my time. And speed on past any nasty posts that will make me feel poisoned.

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  6. Your post and mine are on very similar topics...enough with the hatred.

    Damyanti

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  7. I would miss you on Facebook, but I'm glad to know where to find you on your blog!

    I also depend on Facebook to keep in touch with my adult kids, other family members, friends, and virtual co-workers and colleagues. I also enjoy many of the groups on Facebook, since they provide the social interaction I don't get since I work from home and don't get out much.

    I would suggest what some others have: unfriend, unfollow, block those "friends" or family members who only seem to enjoy drama and hostility. Nobody needs toxic people in their lives! I've learned to use the options to choose whose stuff I want to see or not, and that helps reduce much of the unpleasant posts in my feed. I also just scroll through stuff and only stop on what I'm really interested in.

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    1. I have received some advice from you and other commenters. I use Facebook too much to keep in touch with people. So I am not going to quit Facebook. With the "other" convention coming up I fear, though, it is going to become a lot nastier. I will "scroll on by"!

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  8. I wouldn't quit it, I'd remove the people who bring me down from my friends list, or I'd unfollow them and ignore the hatred that's out there. I love it too much for the good things, and the support and love I see and feel. But that's me. Ultimately it's your call!

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    Replies
    1. I am not going to quit Facebook but I am going to significantly cut my time. You and others have given some good advice, and I thank you all.

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  9. I rather blog then any of the social out let they have on the net. I do facebook but I try not to post to much political or religious stuff.
    When you post those 2 subject it will sooner or later get some one undies in bunch.
    I only block one person, and unfriend two people using racial slurs about our president...I don't mine someone not seeing eye to eye. But if you want to make statement about an issue. There is away of doing it and a lease be civil.
    If you want to send me a friend request, on facebook...I'm Dora Witherell Vandenberg"
    Love to see your photos.
    Coffee is on

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    Replies
    1. Done,and done. Happy to be your FB friend.

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  10. I just scroll on by the posts that I am not interested in. Scroll, scroll, scroll until I find a grandchild photo or pics of an exotic trip a friend is on, or a cute knitting pattern or tasty recipe I might want to try. That's the key, just scroll on by. It's sort of like passing someone on the street that you might not have the time or inclination to stop and chat because she goes on and on about things you are not interested in. Just wave and hurry on by before she catches your ear.

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    1. Just scroll on by - you have just named my post for tomorrow. I'm already concentrating on finding the good stuff and scrolling on past the other. Thank you!

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  11. I don't post to FB unless it has to do with my 1010ParkPlace site, and I'm visiting FB less and less. It doesn't matter whether my friends are liberals or conservatives, but the hatred and negativity both dish out... I just can't do that. Brenda

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    1. I am finding my feelings are held by a LOT of people. Perhaps, that, in a way, is its own encouragement. Thank you for visiting and commenting.

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  12. I'm a Facebook holdout -- have never been on Facebook and I think life is perfectly fine without it. On the other hand, I do like blogging and blogs -- and if you're wondering, I learnt about your blog through peppylady's. Your comment about having majored in cultural anthropology intrigued me since I, too, majored in anthropology back when I was in college! :)

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    1. Yes, I did major in cultural anthropology. Although, I've never had any jobs that (at least officially) used by college training. Perhaps what I should do is reengage with my training and consider my Facebook timeline as studying another culture. It's a thought.

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    2. I tried to follow your blog, YTSL, but was told it was "forbidden". Ah well.

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    3. Hi bookworm --

      What did you try to follow my blog with? If Google+, maybe that's why I have fewer "followers" than I would like! ;(

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  13. My SIL posts her updates on FB, and since she doesn't talk to me, that's the only way I know what's going on with her. Everyone else I've pretty much stopped following. (You can do that, you know. Stop following someone. You stop seeing their updates in your newsfeed.)

    I only follow a couple magazines so I can read some articles I find interesting.

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  14. Though I have not yet come across any such post personally, I have read about it, and heard about it... it is sad that every invention of mankind is misused.. sad really..

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  15. Ah, the topic of Facebook. When it first started, I thought it was wonderful to see family photos from across the country. Over the past few years, the misrepresentation of things, the on going drama, and everything you mentioned keeps me using it as an electronic phone book and not much else. I mean how many times can you enjoy seeing a photo of what someone ate for lunch or 60 photos of a birthday party when one would have been great. I think for me it is also an age thing. I think it has eliminated a lot of face to face conversations that I really enjoyed. :-)

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  16. Every word you mentioned here is true.Facebook has its own merits and demerits.As for political views,it is always good to be polite while discussing opposing viewpoints

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