It's a job too big for one person. That is where society is supposed to step in - the combined power of us all. But too many times, it doesn't work.
Depending on ourselves, or on family, or friends, is a nice philosophy until you have to put it into action. A person who embarks on caregiving without support will, sooner or later, be a person burning out.
If there is anyone in the world right now I would want to have write a guest post for my blog, it would be a woman who had started a blog about her particular situation.
The author was a young woman whose parents are dead, and so the responsibility for caring for her older sister rests on her. Her sister had severe seizures as a young child, which caused major damage to her brain. The sister, developmentally, is about the age of three. She has other issues, too, as a result of this disability.
When the young woman sought respite and housing help from the State she lives in...well, it became an absolute nightmare. She's not looking for a handout. She is looking for some respite. She has taken responsibility for her sister, as have others of us who have people with disabilities in our lives.
It's no surprise to me, and no surprise to anyone who is a sib or a sib-in-law of someone who is physically or developmentally disabled, that she must wade through incredible bureaucracy with rules that make absolutely no sense. She must deal with agencies who have no idea of the needs of the people and family they are "serving".
Just think of all the people without loving families who are adrift in that system.
But that isn't what I am blogging about today. Rather, what I am blogging about is what happened to that young woman's blog.
She had many comments on her first post - which is going to be her last post, because she had to take the blog down. Let's just say some of the comments were not friendly.
This was actually one of my concerns when I decided to spend part of the month blogging about my brother in law, who has a developmental disability called autism.
Yes, there are those who hate out there, and they just love to deposit their droppings of hate anywhere it is convenient. They hide in the anonymity of the Internet. Or, it could be that her blog was visited by people who hate those with disabilities. To them I say: being disabled is one minority group that anyone can enter into at any moment. All it takes is, oh, a car accident. Or a stroke. Or cancer. Or the bite of a tick. Or being bitten by the wrong mosquito. Or an injury that gets infected by the wrong bacteria. And then they will be looking at life from the other side.
What you give, you get. Life is an echo.
Karma can be a bitch.
I hope that young woman continues to write, somewhere, somehow. She has a wonderful voice, and it deserves to be heard.
That is disheartening. Blogging can be such a release and often provides encouragement. Perhaps we should all be reminded of a quote by Thumper in Bambi, "If you can't say something nice then don't say nothin' at all."
ReplyDeleteOh my, that poor girl! :( I hope luck finds her way very soon!
ReplyDeleteIt's too bad that woman took down her blog after only one post. That's just sad. It's hard enough being put into that situation where you have to take care of someone without having haters. I was in the home health care field for many years, and I know how difficult it is for the care-givers out there. Everyone says, "give me a call if you need anything" but ... then they're not there for them. So difficult. I also worked in a residential home for 6 adult mentally handicapped for 7 years and know that system well too. It's a jungle out there. My hats off to you for all that you do. Peace.
ReplyDeleteWonderful post, Alana. I wish I could have read the post you're talking about before the young woman took it down. Those fortunate enough not to have to manage life on the edge should have the grace to hear what it's like for those shouldering more than their share of responsibility for a loved one. I wish you and the author of the blog you're talking about an easier row to hoe in the future.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry to hear about this, Alana. Is it possible that the young woman could start again? It's such a shame that she should be bullied out of this wonderful way to get her message out. By joining some good blogging groups, I would imagine that she would get into contact with supporters of her work. What a shame. :(
ReplyDeleteOh my goodness; the poor author. I really feel for her! I hope that the girl manages to find some respite soon!
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OMG that's horrible. Poor woman. No one should let nasty comments get to them as it's obvious those that make them are just out to see what reaction they get. Such a shame.
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