Monday, November 23, 2009

The Long and Winding Road Back to Where I Once Belonged

I'm watching the freestyle round on the finale of Dancing with the Stars.

I saw Kelly Osbourne's freestyle final performance, danced to "I Will Survive".

She fell....and smiled.   Not the best dancer, she still shone; she still had a great time.

It's going to be a long time before I can ever be on that dance floor.

It's been an interesting road, these past 8 weeks since I injured my back and learned the meaning of immobility, sciatica, leg spasms, and not being able to dress yourself.  In the range of back injuries this probably didn't even rate a 2 out of 10.  I've heard the stories of those who have endured treatment after treatment, and surgery after surgery.  I know how lucky I've been for so much of my life, and now I've known what it is like to lose your mobility, your ability to even put a shoe or sock on, or to sit for more than a few minutes.

Perhaps I shouldn't even use the title I've chosen for this entry.  I think especially of people who have had strokes.  Their road is so much longer.   I've experienced only a fraction of what they have to go through to reclaim their lives.

Now, when I see those high energy dancers on the dance shows I love, I think of the pain, the stress fractures, the dislocations, that these dancers endure.  They get treated, then go out there, smile, and deliver, and keep dancing through the pain.

Tomorrow's session may be my last with the PT.   Because of my two therapists, I can dress myself again, I can sit again, I can walk again.   I do my theraputic exercises.  I sit at work with a lumbar roll.  I watch my posture.  I walk, but not uphill.  One day I may even return to the water aerobics class I've attended for 14 years.  Do they even miss me?

Next week I see an orthopedic surgeon and find out what is next on the agenda.

I hope I carry on like Donny Osmond did, with a show stopping performance, drawing on all his years as a Vegas performer.  

Me dance?  Maybe one day.

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