At least I didn't accidentally shoplift from a charity shop run by nuns, like this midlife blogger did.
But in the spirit of confession, here is my story of what you might call a brain cramp.
In downtown Johnson City, New York, there is a wonderful little health food store. It has been in business for possibly close to 35 years.
Twice a year, they have a customer appreciation sale. They had one on Saturday. They advertise this with a postcard. If you bring in the postcard, you get a free gift, or entered into a drawing, plus a discount. Who can resist?
Spouse and I walked in with our postcard, and started down the first aisle (this isn't a big store, so there aren't too many aisles). Right next to the checkout, one of the first aisle items caught my eye.
It was a bottle, about the size of a 16 oz soda: Amish formula to treat leg and foot cramps.
I suffer from foot cramps, and occasional restless leg. So I stopped to look at the bottle. The ingredients? Apple cider vinegar, ginger plant juice and garlic juice.
Wow, I thought. It's Amish and it's healthy. "Does this work?" I asked the young cashier. "Well", he responded (probably as he's been trained to do), "other customers have told me it does."
I wanted to have both hands free for the remainder of my shopping, so I tucked the bottle under my left armpit and went my merry way.
In the back were samples - delicious tortilla chips fried in coconut oil, organic sparkling water (it was so good!), yogurt, and...sigh, chocolate.
Distracted by the chocolate, and the display of the delicious sparkling water (I drink sparkling water instead of soda, for the most part), I forgot all about the bottle of Amish foot cramp remedy nestling contentedly in my left armpit. I browsed a few more minutes, picking up several more items.
Spouse and dropped off our selections at the checkout, manned by the same young man. We paid for our purchase and started out the door.
"What about the bottle under your arm?" the cashier asked.
Oh, THAT bottle. I must have turned five shades of red.
"Oh", he said "I thought you were holding it for a separate order." Nice man.
So we paid for the Amish remedy, my cheeks burning, and left.
OK, it wasn't like stealing from nuns. But stealing from a local business? Could you see the headline now? "Local Blogger AM Steals Foot Cramp Remedy from Store". I would have had to leave town.
So, here's my question: Is there an Amish remedy for brain cramps?