Tuesday, June 13, 2017

The Brain Cramp

At least I didn't accidentally shoplift from a charity shop run by nuns, like this midlife blogger did.

But in the spirit of confession, here is my story of what you might call a brain cramp.

In downtown Johnson City, New York, there is a wonderful little health food store.  It has been in business for possibly close to 35 years.

Twice a year, they have a customer appreciation sale.   They had one on Saturday.  They advertise this with a postcard.  If you bring in the postcard, you get a free gift, or entered into a drawing, plus a discount.  Who can resist?

Spouse and I walked in with our postcard, and started down the first aisle (this isn't a big store, so there aren't too many aisles).  Right next to the checkout, one of the first aisle items caught my eye.

It was a bottle, about the size of a 16 oz soda:  Amish formula to treat leg and foot cramps.  

I suffer from foot cramps, and occasional restless leg.  So I stopped to look at the bottle.   The ingredients?   Apple cider vinegar, ginger plant juice and garlic juice. 

Wow, I thought.  It's Amish and it's healthy.  "Does this work?" I asked the young cashier.  "Well", he responded (probably as he's been trained to do), "other customers have told me it does."

I wanted to have both hands free for the remainder of my shopping, so I tucked the bottle under my left armpit and went my merry way.

In the back were samples - delicious tortilla chips fried in coconut oil, organic sparkling water (it was so good!), yogurt, and...sigh, chocolate.

Distracted by the chocolate, and the display of the delicious sparkling water (I drink sparkling water instead of soda, for the most part), I forgot all about the bottle of Amish foot cramp remedy nestling contentedly in my left armpit.  I browsed a few more minutes, picking up several more items.

Spouse and dropped off our selections at the checkout, manned by the same young man.  We paid for our purchase and started out the door.

"What about the bottle under your arm?" the cashier asked.

Uh....what bottle?

Oh, THAT bottle.  I must have turned five shades of red.

"Oh", he said "I thought you were holding it for a separate order."  Nice man.

So we paid for the Amish remedy, my cheeks burning, and left.

OK, it wasn't like stealing from nuns.  But stealing from a local business?   Could you see the headline now?  "Local Blogger AM Steals Foot Cramp Remedy from Store". I would have had to leave town.

So, here's my question: Is there an Amish remedy for brain cramps?

18 comments:

  1. LOL, we've all done something forgetful. My most recent? I belong to the Y. The main entrance is at one end of the building, the fitness center at the other. I walked into the building, past the auditorium, the business office, the cafeteria, a bunch of classrooms, meeting rooms, and the library. Got to the fitness center and headed to the locker room to change. And realized I left my gym bag and all my stuff on the back seat of my car.

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    1. That does make me feel better, songbird. We are all in this together.

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  2. Probably the same remedy as this one.

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  3. Because none of us have ever done similar... ;) It happens. It isn't like you meant to do it (and you weren't hiding it :) )

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    1. Well, I may not be going in there for a while....

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  4. LOL I have done this more times than I can count! Usually when my kids were toddlers. I was nearly arrested for walking out of a store with reading glasses on my head!

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    1. Since my vision without glasses isn't too great, at least I've been spared that one.

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  5. Too funny! Nice of the cashier to give you an out and not the Fish Eye or let you leave and prosecute! Thanks for spreading my humbling humiliation.

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    1. Sorry, Haralee, but thinking about someone who would "shoplift" from a store owned by nuns...oops, I just did it again!

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  6. Oh NO! I haven't but I can imagine myself doing just that!

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  7. I can imagine the headlines...'Armpit Amish Arrest'. My mother was a believer in and the owner of a book "Amish Folk Medicine", so on your behalf I consulted her book which I now own. Nothing specific on 'Brain Cramp', but oddly enough both 'Cramps' and Headache' recommended varied doses of milk, soda, vinegar, hot tea and soaking solutions and massages for feet and forehead. The first and foremost remedy was to avoid stressful incidents. So, I guess soaking your feet and forehead in the Amish Cramp Solution ought to do it! LOL!!!

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    1. That might get a little expensive, Sue. I have to learn to make this myself to avoid a future Armpit Amish Arrest. (Now, I just have to find a way to fit that headline into my blog). By the way...this stuff tastes vile, but it really works. It really does. Not my imagination!

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  8. Hahaha, that was funny and I can just imagine how embarrassed you must have felt Alana! Lucky the cashier was a sweet guy! Totally relate to your situation, when you are overwhelmed with shopping and having too many things on your mind!

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  9. Haha..It happens and it's not your fault. It was a mistake and We all do such mistakes. I am sure I do get Brain cramps often :)

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  10. I once dropped an entire bottle of soy sauce on the floor, where it promptly smashed and spread like crazy. It was so embarrassing. I just stood there, dumbfounded. Also, I was afraid to move because I could fall on the soy sauce and get poked by broken glass. Someone came and cleaned it up. I paid for the soy sauce, which served many meals to the floor. Since then, I've had many more brain cramps. I'd replace the brain but my parents forgot to get the extended warranty. Since then, my model brain has been discontinued, and no spare parts remain.

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  11. You made me laugh....and that is the best remedy for brain cramps I think.

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