The Year of Languishing

"One Day at a Time" is not just a TV show.

Is this you?

Some days, I feel like I've been in a foxhole for the past 16 or so months, hiding from the incoming artillery exploding overhead.  The shrapnel never touched me directly, but it hit people I know or the families of people I know, killing several people, and sickening others. At least one took many months to fully recover.

I knew I was fortunate.  I didn't have to go into my office to work (unlike others I knew, who had a job impossible to do from home.)  I'm retired and working part time.  I was able to "shelter in place" and take advantage of senior hours at stores.

Now, the bombardment has stopped.  But is it for good, or just for now?

I wait, and I peek my head above ground.  Is it safe?  I have my shield (aka vaccination) in place.  Shouldn't I be out dancing in celebration and running to embrace my old life, the life that included (sometimes) having people over, working in an office, traveling, occasional eating out, visiting family in other places...all those things we took for granted once upon a time.

I've taken steps out of the foxhole.I've gone to stores I haven't been in since March of 2020. I've been to all our local libraries now and marvel at the changes they had to make. (One remodeled, and got a paint job, and has outside tables - it was amazing.) Yesterday, my spouse and I ate out for the first time - I mean an actual meal, not an ice cream cone or takeout meal.  No, a meal.  With a server waiting on us.  It was outside on a patio, but still.

After the meal (this was a brew pub that was built at our local mall during the pandemic, and it is beautiful) we went into the mall.  For the first time since February.  Just to see what it was like in there now.  

But....

Thinking of travel anywhere jangles my nerves.  It feels like I'm planning a major military campaign.  I've cancelled a day trip to a destination an hour and a half from here.  Twice.  And, at that, much of the route is familiar to me.  Or was, until last March.

Some days, it's hard to focus. I don't seem to have ambition.  I don't check in with people I know, and they aren't checking in with me, either.   It isn't depression (which I am familiar with) - I get great joy from our bird feeder, from my flowers, from perfect lighting for a picture.  

Recently, I found the word for my feelings.  It was made popular by a New York Times article, which I  read a summary of but I think this link (the NY Times is behind a paywall) says it all.

Languishing.  I am languishing.   

Was I the only one languishing?  I know now that, in the midst of the crowds of people seemingly embracing every part of "returning to normal", I'm not the only one languishing.  I'm in good company.

Knowing the name of how I feel makes me feel a lot better.  I know now to be kind to myself. My spouse is kind, too (especially every time I'm hesitant to do something).   One step at a time.  Challenge myself in small ways daily.

That's why we ate lunch out earlier this week, and then we (I was the one who suggested it!) took that walk around the mall.

OK, at least three people I know traveled on planes in the last two weeks (all domestic flights), but I'm not ready for indoor crowds.

Even someone I know who has been on long trips a couple of times admitted to me she has some of the same symptoms as I do.

We are all traumatized in some way.  We will climb out of the foxhole one day and view the light with wonder  Maybe this blog post will become part of a historical record.  I'll reread it years from now, and smile at what my future self has accomplished.

Maybe one day soon...I'll take that hour and a half trip.  It will be wonderful.

Nothing is Forever #WordlessWednesday #blogboost

Recent events show us how life can change in a moment.  Just one helicopter crash took nine lives from our world in just an instant (including a beloved sports giant and one of his daughters) and even spawned various hoax rumors.

It may seem trivial, but I was walking in the mall the other day and this scene struck me - it isn't just lives that can disappear in a moment.  So many retail stores have closed in recent years, impacting the lives of all their employees.

I can only wonder what happened in our latest store closing in our local mall.  What happened to the employees?  How long will it take them to find new employment?  How will they pay their bills.

How sad.

Nothing lasts forever.

Joining some #WordlessWednesday sites.

Natasha and Esha.

Sandee at Comedy Plus

Day 29 of the Ultimate Blog Challenge #blogboost

Things Remembered #WordlessWednesday

I was in our local mall this past weekend, admiring the holiday decorations.

Our mall is under new ownership, and they have made quite the production of decorating, especially where children can have pictures taken with Santa.

In fact, a local florist was involved in setting this up.

And it is beautiful.

I should mention that our local mall, like many in the United States, has been declining for several years.  We have lost many stores, including three of our four anchors.

So, when, on Sunday, a man stopped my spouse and me and said "There used to be a store which would engrave gifts, wasn't there?" I had to tell him, yes there was, but it closed about a year ago.

It was called Things Remembered.

And, in fact, nothing is forever, including our Forever 21  store, which is closing "forever" soon.

It will be joining the other stores which are Things Remembered.

Joining Sandee for #Wordless Wednesday.

Strange Encounters with Sears Microwave Edition

About a year ago, my spouse received a letter from "Sears at Home".  For my readers not in the United States, Sears and Roebuck has been a retailer in our country for over 100 years, but, like many other retailers, is experiencing hard times.  In fact. the Sears store in our area closed over a year ago.

This letter told us that the warranty on our stove (installed on July 6, 2017) was getting ready to expire.  We were given an offer to continue the warranty, for either one, two or three years.

Only one problem.

We've never bought a stove from Sears.  The last stove we purchased was from a local appliance store, and is some 15 years old by now.

In fact, the last appliance we bought from Sears was a microwave, and that is its own story, which I'll get to in a minute.

So this letter was a mystery, except we do have a Sears charge card.  But we have only used it a couple of times in the past couple of years, both times to buy shoes online.  They have a line of walking shoes I love. I  buy a years worth at a time, around Black Friday.  Anyway....

I had a funny feeling the letter wasn't legitimate, especially as the customer service phone number for Sears at Home doesn't seem to be the same phone number as listed on the letter.  In fact, the 800 number on the letter doesn't even appear on their website.

Spouse ended up calling the number and was told oops, not us, someone made a keystroke error. But that really doesn't give me much comfort.  What if the next keystroke makes a record indicating I am seriously in debt with them?

I thought about this incident when our microwave turntable quit working a week or so ago.

We have been happy with our Sears microwave, a 2.2 cubic foot model, built in 2012 (according to a label on the unit).  It works fine except the turntable suddenly won't turn anymore.  This is a must if you want the food to heat evenly..

We looked online and everyone seems to agree it isn't worth the repair, although a local repairer is willing to give it a shot.  Of course, they will charge just to bench test it.

So the other day we went microwave hunting online.  Maybe Sears might have a similar model?

We saw something right off and the price (at "Sears At Home") was right.  Apparently the unit was being discontinued, which doesn't bother us.  But then we saw something strange after entering our zip code.

It was pickup only.

And the place we had to pick it up was in Porterville, California, which is about 2,800 miles (4400 km) from us. 

Road trip ahead?

I don't think so.

We'll keep looking locally.