Falling Friday - The Wake

The wake was well attended.  The funeral home had to direct traffic and the lines were long.

The deceased was the youngest of 12 children and her husband had a large family, too.  She had been popular with many friends, and the wait to get to the coffin and the receiving line was well over an hour.

Boards displayed photos of an active life - her love of music, her love of family and poetry.  She enjoyed outdoor activities at a vacation home near a Pennsylvania lake. 

My mother in law, who has fallen many times and now has limited mobility, talked about other funerals while we waited.  The long lines reminded her of her brother in law's funeral. He had been a fireman in a suburban New York City city. He had fallen off a roof while moonlighting.


The damage done by falling seems endless.  We are scared by terrorists, by shootings, and by purse snatchings (there is an epidemic of purse snatchings now where I live).  But perhaps we should be scared most of all by what we do in our everyday lives.

I started out Falling Friday in a hope to educate.  Lately, it seems it has become more of an occasion to mourn.

I may even be mourning the falls prevention class I attended (Stepping On)- I found out recently that their grant will run out sometime next year, and there may only be one more round of classes (in April, as many seniors prone to falling do not go out much in the winter).

So I will take a hiatus, and, perhaps, start this Friday series up in the New Year.

If you have enjoyed this series, what would you like to see in the New Year?

Throwback Thursday - Tis the Season - For Sadness

This throwback is from December 9, 2009, the first time I wrote about "Blue Christmas".

Not everyone has a happy holiday season.

Now, our family (inlaws) has experienced holiday death in the family again. My brother in law's mother in law passed away a week ago Tuesday.   And my aunt (by marriage)'s sister died on Thanksgiving Day (November 26) .  So, I thought it would be timely to rerun this first Blue Christmas post.

I'm not even sure I will decorate.  I will certainly keep things simple.

My writing has become more polished over the years but I am not going to do any editing.  This voice from the past is speaking to me, and I hope its message will help some of my readers.

Tis the Season....for Sadness

Happy Holidays!

No, that's not true.

The holidays are not happy for everyone. 

11 years ago December 25.....  Spouse and I were at my in-laws on Christmas Day.  They live about 150 miles from where we live.  We had a nice day with other family members, and settled down to watch "It's a Wonderful Life"  with my mother in law and father in law.  Then we went to bed.

My father in law never woke up.  He died during the night of a massive heart attack, his third.

Imagine my mother in law, spending the day after Christmas arranging for the funeral of her husband of nearly 50 years.    The decisions that had to be made quickly, oh so quickly.  The little things, like flowers being almost impossible to come by (flowers being a part of their culture's funeral tradition).  Or us having to borrow clothes for the funeral-most people don't visit for Christmas with black clothes in their suitcase!  Those little details, in a sea of all the major details, on a holiday weekend.

The family gathered again but this time for a much sadder occasion.  Many people came to the funeral home, and it was a great comfort.  But then everyone had to go home, including us.

And then the next Christmas rolled around.  It was not easy.  But we survived, and each year it became easier.  My mother in law has established her independence, and enjoys Christmas with family.

It never goes away but it does become easier.  Although, I have never watched "It's a Wonderful Life" again.

Years ago I worked with someone whose husband died from cancer on Thanksgiving.  In my youth I couldn't understand why Thanksgiving was so hard for her.

Now I understand.

"Blue Christmas" is more than an Elvis song.  For those who have experienced loss:  loss of a loved one, loss of a relationship, loss of a job, the holidays can be so hard to survive, even if you are not a Christian.  Whereever you go, you are surrounded by smiling Santa's, by holiday decorations, by endless carols blaring at work, at the supermarket, at the mall, by constant reminders that everyone is happy.  Except you.

But, you are not alone.  And you will get through it, although it may take a long time.

Time is your friend.  It was for me.  I hope it is for you.

Fall Fancies - Is It Winter Yet?

 This is our five day forecast here in upstate New York.

61F (16 C) by Sunday?   Our unbelievable fall continues, but the end is near.

This past Sunday, though, many people were out enjoying the unseasonable weather.

A sumac seedhead stands tall.  That's normal.

But this isn't. A small sapling's leaves are at peak.  In December.

A forsythia blooming.  This particular forsythia, on the trailhead of the Vestal Rail Trail, blooms every fall.  But in December?

The grass is still green.

And the stems are red.

One thing you aren't seeing (because my iPhone camera isn't that good) is the blue jays who were flying around today on this trail, screeching from their perches high in trees.  Normally, at this time of year, you don't hear much from birds.

It's like a dream.

The Mamas and the Papas once sang of California Dreamin'.  But now, perhaps it's time for Californians to do some New York dreaming for a change.

Still, we worry and wonder:  when will Nature change and give us a horrible winter to make up for what is going on here?  After all, Nature has its ways of balancing the weather.  There is a price to pay.  Almost.

But maybe, just maybe...we paid that price last year?

For now...we are New York dreamin' indeed.  More later in the week.

Have you been experiencing unusual weather?

Tuesday Miracles

Today at sundown begins day three of the eight day Jewish holiday of Hanukkah.  In what has become a Hanukkah tradition, I hope (later this month) to post pictures taken at Hanukkah House, a museum in Binghamton, New York.

In the meantime, I wanted to let a fellow blogger, Judy Yaron, do the heavy work for me today as she asks:  What is your miracle?

Do you believe in miracles?  And, what is a miracle, anyway?

This is a Jewish viewpoint:  all of life is one big miracle.  For those who do not believe in the deity of the Biblical tradition, many still believe in a Spirit, or Nature, or some other supernatural force that we can not fully understand.

And if you do, you just might believe in miracles.  Everything from what happens as a baby grows inside of us throughout our lives, to the germination of a seed and how it grows into an adult plant, to a beautiful sunrise or sunset, to the song of a bird or the smell of sauteing garlic or onions, is a miracle, in my opinion.  These events are all explainable by science but science, after all, is just something that enables us to understand the workings of our world.

And the more I understand, the more I see the miracles in everyday life.  Even today, as our nation navigates waters churned with terror and with hate, and we don't know what direction to turn in, there are still enough examples of the goodness of humanity.

I want to believe in that, anyway, as the United States enters new, even scarier waters.

The human race has known hours of uncertainty before.  We need our faith in the goodness of humanity more than ever, and the everyday miracles around us.

So...is there a miracle in your life?

Music Monday - Someday

This post is dedicated to those in my life who have lost loved ones in the past year.  This year has been a rough one for several people in my life.  Friends, spouses, cousins, lost.  I know some of my blogging has started to acquire a dark edge.

But hope is also part of life.

At a wake Friday, one of these men told me, as we hugged, speaking of his late wife "I know we'll be together again one day".

That made me think of some of the lyrics the Supremes song "Someday We'll be Together", although that song deals more with the hope of getting together again after a relationship breakup.

It made me think of other songs I like that discuss Someday.

Ooh Child - The Five Stairsteps

And one more, by a singer, Donny Hathaway, who left us too soon - Someday We'll All Be Free.

Yes, the power of music.  I want to leave you with a blog post by "Suzy" that talks about her expression of grief, and which introduced me to a song I had never heard of:  Chotto Matte Kudasai (Please wait a second).

What songs have helped you through grief?

The Bionic Goldenrod and the Painful Aster

In upstate New York, we have had a much milder than normal fall.  Just a trace of snow.  Right now we have thick fog which will burn off later this morning - with a sunny, mild day predicted.

Near my house, a goldenrod still blooms, and it isn't even in a sheltered spot.  I am calling it my "bionic goldenrod".  I wonder when it will finally stop?

Near Windsor, NY - thanks to my "guest photographer"

Our hills are still green - sort of.

Beautiful color here and there.

These fluffy white things have seeds in them but I'm not sure of the plant they belong to.

And last but not least...I have been recovering from a painful attack of sciatica.  It is still difficult for me to do some things involving my legs.  So when I saw this aster near our walking trail, still in bloom, I tried to get down to take the picture.

I got a real nice one of the leaves but the aster, not so much.  Please excuse the blurriness.

What is the weather like for you today?

Local Saturday - A Freshly Minted Teacher

Last night, my spouse and I took my mother in law to the wake of her son's wife's mother. (Now that is a mouthful, and I wish there was a word in English for that relationship.  If there is, I don't know the word.)  The funeral home was packed - it's a large family and the deceased and her husband had many, many friends in the area.

At the end of the receiving line, after the deceased's husband, my brother in law, his wife and her sister and brother and their spouses, were the nieces and nephews.  I don't see them much, and so was pleased to find that one of them (in her 20's) started, this past September, as a teacher at the local high school.

A freshly minted teacher.  I think she will be an excellent one.

But (and, of course, we didn't tell her this) I hope she survives what is becoming an increasingly rocky profession.

I have two cousins who work in the New York City school system.  One is a special ed teacher, one is a school psychologist.  My late best friend from childhood was an elementary school teacher in Brooklyn for many years.  Another cousin was a speech therapist in New York City schools.  A cousin of my spouse's is a retired elementary school teacher and another of his cousins is a high school French teacher in Florida.  For some reason, the teaching talent escaped me, although my mother had high hopes for me becoming a teacher before she passed away way too young.

But, I've heard too many of their stories, especially from the ones who retired.

In the days when my best friend taught, teaching started out as a high calling.  Now, I'm not sure what it is.  I know I count teachers as among the readers of my blog, and I could let them speak for themselves, if any of them cared to.  I am not a teacher and am not qualified to blog about that profession, except as the mother of someone who was educated by the public school system.

I hope my niece in law (again, wish there was a name for that) experiences what teaching should be like - it can be rewarding and should be.  Her hopes are high.

I hope she is not disappointed.

Falling Friday - We've Fallen and We Can't Get Up

Today, I will attend the wake of an 83 year old woman, my brother in law's mother in law, and, tomorrow, her funeral.

She fell, back in February. She fell in the bathtub and hit her head, beginning a nine month nightmare for her and her family. That nightmare ended earlier this week.  Tomorrow, her family will celebrate her life.  It was a long, active life despite many health issues.

That, in a way, we can understand.  People grow old.  We all will.  For too many of us, falling is part of that process.  We have come to recognize that in the United States, and are trying to work on seeing if it is possible to educate people into being more aware of falls.

We can educate people about vision, about the risk of various medications in relation to falling.

But some things are beyond the scope of my Falling Friday feature.

Next week, a lot of people in the San Bernardino, California area are going to be attending funeral services, while the rest of us in the United States ask, once again, why?  how?  It's almost become "another day, another massacre".

Today, I know people going to a holiday retiree luncheon in their office.  Will they think of San Bernardino when they walk in the door?

Years ago, a series of commercials for a Life Call device ("I've fallen, and I can't get up!") became classics.

What I do know is, after reading some of the posts on my Facebook page this morning (including one from a man who majored in psychology), I feel like our country has fallen, and we can't get up.

And there is no Life Call for us.

This one we have to figure out on our own. I speak as someone who works in a community that had its own mass shooting back in 2009.  We can't hide our heads in the sand any more.  We can't blame Congress, in a way - Congress is the people we elect.  Nor can we just send our thoughts and prayers out to the latest set of victims.

Be more aware of what is happening around you, in the meantime. 

Americans: think carefully.  Act wisely.  But act. We can no longer be paralyzed.   The future of our country depends on it.

Beyond Belief

Today, I wish I had the eloquence of a skilled best selling author.  I wish the thoughts could flow off my typing fingers like honey flows from an extractor.

I wish I had the answers.

My brother in law, "B", who has autism, may have heard of this news when he came home from his twice a week day program yesterday.  Or, perhaps he found out when he turned his favorite news channel on later in the afternoon.

Either way, it is so hard to tell how much he understands about the San Bernardino shooting http://www.latimes.com/local/lanow/la-me-ln-san-bernardino-shooting-live-updates-htmlstory.htmlyesterday, where a husband and wife team shot and killed 14 people in a center serving those with developmental disabilities such as autism.  They left some 1400 rounds of ammunition and three pipe bombs attached to a remote control device at the scene.

A holiday party was in process at the time the shooting began.

The dead ranged in age from 26 to 60 and included a woman who had moved here from Iran after the Iranian revolution and a man who left six children behind.

This is what we know so far of the victims.

21 others were injured.

They left their six month old daughter with a relative before they embarked on their acts.  In their apartments, authorities discovered 12 more pipe bombs and more weapons.  In their getaway SUV authorities found about 1,600 more rounds of ammunition.

Actually, none of us here in the United States understand this.   We all have this in common with my brother in law.

Will he go to his program again tomorrow? (Today was an off day for him).  And, if so, what will he be thinking?


I just wish I had the magic words to make it all better for everyone in the world.  Because it just isn't us.  This is only the latest chapter of a story which none of us know the ending to yet.

Fall Fancies - The Lament of the Last Tree

Alone in the upstate New York community I live in, the last tree with leaves stands proudly.

Taken several days ago but still full of leaves today

Look at me! it seems to say.  I am the last survivor.

A month ago, turning trees were everywhere.

Red and gold, brown and yellow, my brothers celebrated the season.

Broome County Library, November 4

Now it's down to me.  I am the last.

The other leaves have fallen.  They sit in leaf bags and in mulch piles.

Only I remain, but for how long?  Perhaps hours? Perhaps until the next windstorm?  Or when snow finally comes to upstate New York?

My days are numbered.  But do not mourn for me.

How To Cope With Holiday Grief

What we call the holiday season is not always joyous.
Today, my brother in law's mother in law passed away. 

My family is no stranger to grief during the holiday season.  My father in law passed away on Christmas night.  This will be a difficult holiday season for some of our family members once again.


For all of humanity, coping with grief while others celebrate is a complex issue.

How do you support those who are grieving during a holiday?

Some Christian congregations, recognizing the stress those grieving during the holiday season undergo, started what are called "Blue Christmas" services.  Commonly, these are held on December 21, the longest night of the year in the Western Hemisphere.

For Orthodox Jews, people mourning their parents are expected to abstain from certain joyous occasions for a year after death.  For other family members, the time frame is shorter.

Muslims also find ways to manage grief and religious observances.

So, how else do people in our situation cope with grief during a holiday?  This is some advice from my previous experience when my father in law died.  I am not a mental health care worker or a physician; just a layperson who has been through it.  This is what worked for me.

First and foremost, talk if you feel the need.  Share good memories.

Have a good cry if it helps.  There is no shame in crying.

Lower your expectations.  Do holiday traditions help your grief or increase it?  If increase, then this year is not the time for it.  You keep it simple.

You cut back social obligations and only do what you feel comfortable doing.

You are kind to yourself and other family members.

You seek out support from those who have been there before you.

You realize that the pain will always be there, but it will diminish.  The night my father in law died, in the late 1990's, we watched the movie "It's a Wonderful Life" with him.  It was one of my favorite movies.  I never watched it again, but last year, I honored his memory by visiting Seneca Falls, NY (the residents there believe the fictional Bedford Falls was modeled after their city) and taking part in an annual festival that celebrates the movie.

Today is an international Giving Tuesday, which has become a movement for both charitable giving during the holiday season, and for donating hours or volunteer work to non profits.

This year, when you give, please consider supporting those who do not find the December holiday season a time of joy.

Have you suffered a loss during a holiday time?  How did you cope?

Music Monday - Songs for a Last Day of November

On this last Monday of November, we take one last deep breath, recovering from our Thanksgiving.

Then, what we call "The Holidays" in the United States kick into high gear.  I try to keep things simple, and this year will be no exception.

Now, it is time to think of family, in all of its imperfections.

Imagine Dragons - I Bet My Life, is a song about family and how we sometimes take directions different from what our family may have wanted us to go.  I was one of those "in a different direction" people and have never regretted it.    I can even forgive the commercialization of this song in a Jeep commercial, because otherwise I never would have known about this song.

Don't be disturbed by the fight at the beginning - watch the direction this song takes.

This is one of the top most listened to You Tube songs of all time - Happy, by Pharrell Williams.  This song is so upbeat, you can't help but dance.

Best Day of My Life - American Authors.  Not that I would get a tattoo to commemorate the best day of my life...

Finally, "just because":  Thankful, by Bob Baker - being thankful for...well, take about five minutes, or join this video at about the 1:05 mark, where it..well, becomes a little interesting.

This is the final day of November's NaBloPoMo.

What is your today like?

Not the Nature of Things

Normally, by now, we would have had some snow in my part of upstate New York.  Check out the stats for Binghamton, New York, here.  Below average snow.  Above average temperatures.

Not that I m complaining.

Normally, the sun is a stranger at this time of year.  But not this year.

A mild sunrise on Friday, as I participated in what Americans call Black Friday-a day of shopping bargains.

Later that day, in a normal year, there would not have been a dandelion blooming in a green lawn.

Today, alyssum should not have been blooming in my front yard.

A wood sorrel should not have been blooming in the back.

I would not have taken an exercise walk in nearby Binghamton (still trying to shake off a sickness I've had for the past week) and heard birds singing and a lawnmower starting.  And, when I got back I would not have seen what I call my too-late mum, finally blooming. It's one of several hardy mums I bought last year.  All of them survived our harsh winter, and bloomed - but this one, apparently, didn't get enough sun.

So the buds hung on and hung on and never opened.  Until this past week, when the too-late buds finally decided to open, and were immediately hit by a freeze.

I'll never even know what color they were supposed to be.

Guess this plant will be moved next year.

In a normal year, I would have been letting autumn go. 

But not this time.  It's not the nature of things.  Things don't seem right.  Things are not in balance.

Today, I don't care.

I'm enjoying the sun.  And hoping against hope that the snow will not come.  Well, maybe just a little.  And then, it will be time for spring.

This is day 29 of NaBloPoMo.

Local Saturday - Dhremo

Today, in the United States, it was Small Business Saturday.

We visited several local businesses and bought holiday presents at a couple of them.  One featured jewelry made in the United States, made with recycled materials.

The other sold unusual gifts, including something I think the recipient will also be delighted with.

The people in the businesses we visited all seemed delighted at the influx of visitors. But sometimes, a regular gift is not enough.

Today, I read about a most inspirational gift for anyone you may know who is struggling with serious illness.  It made me think of a friend, who used to dress in costumes for her chemo and post them on Facebook.  Her husband would write her songs.  

One of my Facebook friends (and a small business owner), Sandi Tuttle, has written about her cancer journey (when she is up to it) on her blog.  This Small Business Saturday, she is in rehab, recovering from a recent hospitalization.

So many, this holiday season, don't need an everyday gift.  They need the gift of hope.

Enter Dhremo Therapy.  

These are decals for IV bags created by Marsha, an artist, sculptor,and breast cancer survivor, and sold on her website.  You get a set of five in each order, and Marsha donates $1. to a cancer fighting organization.  These decals are:    Miracles, Hope, Vitality, Light & Love, and Clarity.  

November can be so dreary in upstate New York, where I live.  But today, there is a new sparkle in the sky - a new season of hope. Of dreaming.  Of taking the depression of a serious diagnosis and turning it into a powerful weapon.  Dhremo.

Do you have a story of survival to share today?

Today is day 28 of NaBloPoMo - National Blog Posting Month.

Snippets of a Thanksgiving Day

Today is the last post of my week of thankfulness. Yesterday was a Thanksgiving Day in upstate New York that ended with some unexpected news.

The simple things are what matter.  Having food on the table.

Stuffing a turkey.

Watching a parade in New York City on television.  The Macy's Thanksgiving Parade with its gigantic floats is a holiday tradition.

Pumpkin Pie.

A beautiful sunset.

But then, on Facebook, I read the news that the sister of one of my late aunts had died earlier in the day.  I had only met this woman, whose name was Helen, twice.  But my aunt (actually the first wife of my father's youngest brother, but to me she remained my aunt even after they divorced) had spoken of her often.

The years pass so quickly.  Helen was raised, along with my aunt, in Oklahoma.  She was educated with her siblings, in a one room schoolhouse.  Her mother was her teacher.  It was a world that seemed remote to me, who grew up in New York City.

Later in life, the peacocks she kept were her pride and joy.  My aunt kept some of the peacock feathers as decorations.  I don't know if Helen loved flowers the way my aunt did, but I can imagine that she did.

In the blink of an eye, as the expression goes, an ordinary day had taken an unexpected direction.  As much as family can frustrate, in the end, they are the most important thing we have.  Along with good memories of those who are no longer with us.

In honor of Helen's life, I end with a Thanksgiving bouquet.

What are you thankful for today?

Today is day 27 of NaBloPoMo.

Throwback Thursday - Habitat for Humanity

I first wrote this post in November of 2010, after my spouse and I visited the Habitat for Humanity headquarters. Today, as we in the United States give thanks for what we have, it is well that we think of those who don't share in our bounty.

Today is day 26 of NaBloPoMo, National Blog Posting Month.

Habitat for Humanity: Happy Thanksgiving

Today, of course, is the American Thanksgiving.  On this day of giving thanks we should pause.  Those of us who are fortunate enough to have jobs and family, and a warm home should take the time to think of those who don't.  I wrote this post for Thanksgiving of 2010, and I feel it is still timely.

In our March, 2010 trip to Americus, Georgia, we visited Habitat for Humanity headquarters.   This worthy organization is well known for its support of decent, affordable housing both in this country and overseas.

Besides the headquarters, on the grounds is what could be best described as (with no disrespect meant) a "slum theme park".

The first two pictures are recreations of representative "before" pictures.  The final picture shows Habitat for Humanity housing solutions.  All solutions are sensitive to native cultural requirements.  For example, where a culture would encourage a family to live in one common room, that is what Habitat will build for them.

 Clustered around some of the "after" examples were people visiting from other countries, examining the exhibits closely.
 
Our local chapter of Habitat for Humanity once posted examples of the work they have done in our community. (One of their homes, in our neighborhood, was flooded and, I presumed destroyed- in our September 2011 floods - a sad footnote to this post.  And, I can't help but think of all the people impacted by Hurricane Sandy, and other weather disasters, since.)

A long way from a small town in Georgia to the Triple Cities.  But in a way, we are all interconnected, are we?

We in this country have so much to give thanks for.

Fall Fancies - Post 2200

Yes, this is the two thousand two hundredth post on my blog.  I am grateful for the opportunity to celebrate this milestone.  I could not have done it without my readers, so, if you are reading this, thank you!

Tomorrow, it is Thanksgiving in the United States.  One of our traditions is to eat a bird called the turkey.  The turkey I am about to describe may or may not be the bird my foreign readers call "turkey" but bear with me.

Meleagris gallopavo, or the domestic turkey, originated in North America and has been domesticated into a number of varieties. When I was growing up in the 1950's and 1960's, it was eaten primarily at Thanksgiving. 

But the wild turkeys, more and more, hang around suburban backyards.  My mother in law, when she lived in a New York City suburb, would commonly see them in her back yard.

Today, I feature pictures taken by my guest photographer while visiting a relative in Massachusetts.  In keeping with Thanksgiving, I am so grateful for this woman being in my life.  The amount of support and friendship she has given me is more than I have given her back, and she isn't a bad photographer, either.  No, wait.  She's good.  She's really good!

Her relative feeds these turkeys, and if they are not fed by noontime they will rap on her patio window.  The domestic versions are usually all white (although there are colored domestic versions).  Isn't that glossy bronze color majestic?

Years ago, when we lived in rural Arkansas, my spouse and I raised Bronze turkeys, which look very much like their wild cousins.  The taste - Turkey ++++.

Here, a turkey peers through the window of a storm door.  "Hey, dinnertime" the turkey says.

And finally, they are about to be fed.

Tomorrow, their domestic cousins will feed us.

And if turkey isn't enough, how about some cranberry sauce?  Here I feature my recipe for cranberry sauce - so easy to make.

Without it, turkey just isn't complete.

If you celebrate the American Thanksgiving Day, what are some of your favorite foods?

This is day 25 of NaBloPoMo, National Blog Posting Month.

Why Should I Be Grateful?

I usually try to make my posts positive, even if I am not thinking that way.  Sometimes I can talk myself into feeling positive.  Today, I am having trouble.

This Sunday I blogged "This week, I plan a week of gratefulness posts.  I can be thankful for many things this week, including family and good health.".



My mother in law is getting out of a rehab facility today.  She is in her upper 80's.  In the United States, a person (especially the elderly) may be put in an inpatient rehabilitation center after a hospitalization if they need intensive therapy and monitoring to return to a normal functioning.  In my mother in law's case, she was hospitalized for nearly a week and was in the rehab facility for over a month.

When I would visit her, I had to walk down a long corridor.  The doors of each room are open to the view of anyone who walks by.  I tried to avert your eyes but it is hard.  I saw room after room with a senior sitting in a chair, if they weren't in therapy.



I thought of these people - once young, limber, hard working, vital, perhaps athletic, loving, creative.

What happened?

Strokes, falls, broken bones, cancer, you name it.

As I write this, someone I know in her 80's is in comfort care.  She fell in February and hit her head.  It's been a horrible journey - hospitalization, acute care, a nursing home.  Now, there is nothing more they can do for her.  Watching what has happened to her has been a painful process for her family.  I can not imagine the sufferings this woman experienced as her condition deteriorated.

I think of friends and acquaintances who have passed on.  Several from cancer.  One from a liver disorder.  A couple from heart attacks. They ranged in age from 13 to 63.   I could say that aging is a privilege, but, today, I don't feel that way.

Why do these things happen?  I've never been a questioning person or a spiritual person.  This is changing.

I try to appreciate the world around me in this, my 62nd year.  I express gratefulness when I wake up every morning.  I enjoy the sunrise and the sunset.  But then I think of those (mostly women) in the rehab facility.  Will I be there one day? 

I look at my changing body, the wrinkles, the deterioration of balance, the senior moments.  We like to make light of them, because sometimes they aren't funny.

And then I worry about my mother in law. 

We will see what happens when my mother in law gets out today. The staff of the rehab has worked hard with her, and she has worked hard in turn.  But will the hard work continue once home?  Or will she return to her lifting chair and her favorite TV channel?

Is there, in the end, such a thing as aging with grace?

Can I condemn someone for giving up when I have never been through what they have been through?  But, as one of her caregivers, it frustrates me because I can see what will happen if she doesn't change her ways.  She's been given this chance.  Will she take it?

I don't know if she will.

Will this be my fate one day?   I am grateful that we aren't given that knowledge, usually, until towards the end of our lives.

How do you feel about your aging?

This is day 24 of NaBloPoMo.

Music Monday - Alice's Restaurant Massacree

For many people of my age in the United States, Thanksgiving music consists of one classic, over 18 minute epic story - Alice's Restaurant, by Arlo Guthrie.

On Thanksgiving Day, 1965, Arlo Guthrie, the son of noted folk singer Woodie Guthrie, visited a friend and her husband in Massachusetts .  They needed to have their garbage taken out but the dump was closed.  What happened after that is told in a way that is - well, classic and also hysterical.

For years, we listened to this on the way down to seeing my in laws for Thanksgiving (an almost three hour drive).  Public radio still plays this every Thanksgiving.

In a way it's dated.  But in a way, it's not.  Is Charlie Chaplin or Buster Keaton dated?  Listen and decide for yourself.

If you have 18 minutes to spare, I invite you to listen, to get a little taste of folk America.

Today is day 23 of NaBloPoMo.

Grateful for the Beauty of the Natural World

This week, I plan a week of gratefulness posts.  I can be thankful for many things this week, including family and good health.

The American Thanksgiving holiday is this Thursday.  On a news program called "Sunday Morning", a lot of the show was devoted to art and food.

It made me think about how beautiful our natural world is, and all the ways people find to appreciate it.

The show featured an artist who lives near Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, who paints with coffee and tea.

I invite you to explore his art and how he gets the colors he needs from coffee and teas from all over the world. Some of the paintings have an international vibe; others feature drinking of - what else, coffee and tea.

Some of his art is public, on the grounds of Duquesne University.

But art isn't just man made.

Outside my home in upstate New York, a couple of flowers are still blooming.  This has to be some kind of record and is so appreciated in an area just days from our first snowfall. (Michigan?  Colorado?  Thank you for bearing the brunt of winter so far).

White alyssum.  Soon to be a distant memory, but taking in some of the last rays of sun before winter weather hits.  Thank you to those who invented the iPhone camera.

Purple alyssum (which came out a bit blurry) right next to it.

I can also be grateful to the blogging community and I want to share some posts on art.

First, a Canadian blogger, Laurel at Alphabet Salad, who has been sharing her adventures with various type of art - zentangles, photography, and what she is learning in drawing class.

Second, a Nebraskan blogger, Amy, who shares her love of drawing.

And finally, all the bloggers who have blogged about adult coloring books.

So many of these things I have blogged about are visual, and I also think of a man I used to work with, who lost his sight, but not his love of music.  He is a drummer, and plays in a local band.

How do you appreciate the beauty of the world?

This is Day 22 of NaBloPoMo.http://www.blogher.com/nablopomo-add-all-your-november-2015-posts-here?from=comments