Tuesday, January 23, 2018

Coming Attractions

Once upon a time, our entire lives were ahead of us.

Now, increasingly, they are in our rear view mirrors.

Many of us of a "certain age" are caregivers for elderly parents, or former caregivers (because they have passed on).

My situation isn't typical.

My parents passed away when I was relatively young (I was 12 for my Mom, and 33 for my Dad). I never knew my Mom as an adult, but, on the other hand, I never had to see her age.

But, I am one of several caregivers for my mother in law, who is a nonagenarian, and for my autistic brother in law, who is close to the beginning of his senior years.  So I am getting to see our system from two different angles - the angles of the treatment of old age, and the treatment of those with developmental disabilities who are aging.

And I am getting to see my mother in law age. I’ve known her for 47 years.

I see the coming attractions and I want to yell out "no thank you, I don't want to be part of this movie!  Get me out of the theater!"  But then I consider the alternative.

I am also seeing a part of the health care system that I haven't before.

So, as a blogger, what do I do?

Perhaps I just roll along, trying to find the beauty in life, and make the best of it.

Just like many of us are.


  1. When you are a caregiver it is important to also have outlets for self expression and releasing your energies or recovering energies. If blogging helps you to reach out to others and you find joy in it I highly recommend you stick with it. But do it in a way that fits your needs and schedules. People will understand. I hope to read you into the future and best of luck with caregiving. I know from personally experience both sides of the situation you are dealing with but I live in Canada so the systems may be different.

  2. Or, pass along the knowledge you acquire to those about to find themselves int he same boat as you. They can use all the help they can get with the oars!

  3. "So, as a blogger, what do I do? Perhaps I just roll along, trying to find the beauty in life, and make the best of it."
    ...Or, the outrage that develops as you discover more and more just how reprehensible our healthcare system is will spur you to write many more compelling blog posts...??

    Hi Alana. Long time! I've been laying low these last few months but finally am getting back to my routine. It's good to be back and playing with the 4M gang!
    I can relate to where you're finding yourself now. My Dad passed away in 2015 and my Mom has recently moved here to Texas from N Carolina to be close to me so I can take care of her. It's heartbreaking to see my once vibrant and active mom lose her ability to walk without assistance and deal with the ravages of age taking their toll on her health and well-being. It kills me.

    My Mom and I were out having lunch last week and there happened to be a homeless guy in the restaurant (seemed like he was known there so we surmised that he probably hangs out at the underpass across the highway) and we watched as he walked out. It was obvious that he had some mental health issues and we were discussing the deplorable state of the mental health system in this country. I had a friend who was bipolar and I had a lot of experience with the system over the years in helping him. A few years back he was in a bad way and we (his mom and I) found him an available bed in one of the local facilities here and were so relieved that he was going to get some help. Three days later he called me to come pick him up because he had been discharged. I couldn't believe it! I called the doctor and had a conversation, telling her he needed to be there for at least 3 weeks, not 3 days! And she said "he's no longer a danger to himself or others so we have to discharge him after 3 days." I was appalled. I looked across the highway and saw several homeless folks hanging out under the bridge and said "all those guys over there probably need to be in a facility but they just take them in, give them some medication and put them out to fend for themselves a few days later." It's horrible.
    I can't understand how all these other countries have decent and free healthcare and the people are happy, the medical professionals are happy, yet our country can't figure out how to do it. Don't even get me started... :)

    Anyway, maybe blogging will become an outlet for any upcoming frustration for you.

    It was good to come over to your place and hang for a bit. Your post today compelled me to write and express some of my own frustration so thank you. :)

    Now I'm off to go check out your Monday's Music post...

    Michele at Angels Bark

  4. You get to write about it all ;) That's a very valuable thing, you know.


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