My Social Media Break Status

Surprising myself, I have now (mostly) stayed off of social media (not counting blogging) for a little over three weeks with some minor exceptions.

Unfortunately, I don't think I can maintain the break (at least for Facebook) that much longer.  Right now, I am waiting on more word re a Facebook friend and a real life friend, both of whom are facing various challenges that I want to keep up to date with.

I also am checking in twice a week with a private group on Facebook that I belong to. 

But when I am on Facebook the urge to click on this post or that post can get a bit overwhelming.  The social media sites know all too well how to keep drawing you in.

So, why am I keeping the break up?  Seems I have a lot more time available for other things when I'm not busy doomscrolling on X, or being distracted by this and that on Facebook.  Fortunately, I had never developed addictions to Pinterest and I haven't been on Insta for two or three years.

Yes, I said it - addiction.

Banner Year for Mophead Hydrangeas (not mine)

And a major time suck.  Time I could be spending taking pictures of flowers, for example.

I don't miss X at all.  It had become too much of a cesspool, although I tried to cling to some of the sane accounts (like that of the U.S. National Park Service, who has a genuine comedian running it).  I miss some of the (sane) people I've followed.   Yet, it's not good for my mental health.

So, if you follow me on social media and are wondering why I don't seem to visit you anymore, it isn't that at all.  I am not ignoring you.  I still like you. 

As the saying goes, it's not you.  It's me.

Let's see how much longer this break lasts.

Staying on Facebook

Right after October 7, I decided that I would quietly retreat from Facebook.  Until a week or so ago, I spent very little time on it, except for one private group related to blogging that I visited several times a week.

Why?  I was feeling Facebook was offering little of value to me, and I also did not want to be exposed to any of the hate that seems to be so prevalent on social media.

It was an interesting six weeks or so.  Slowly, I missed certain things and started to sneak back, although I spent little time on my personal news feed.

1.  Local news - what were businesses up to?  Were my favorite farm markets going to stay open past their traditional late October closing dates? (Global warming has made some of that possible).  What about the neighborhood Walgreens that had closed with no warning? 

2.  Were there any events - open houses for the holidays, for example, I was interested in?  I had actually missed a couple before I decided I needed to pay more attention.  Also, one business was getting ready to move. Our local newspaper seems to report local news days after it happened, which is too bad, because I try to support local journalism.

3.  Anyone getting married, having a baby, taking a trip?

4.  Anyone seriously ill or with a family member in that situation?

#4 is what did it for me, because it started out with two people I know in real life losing parents (one a mother, one a father) in the past 10 days or so, but then switched to good news, when I read yesterday that a real life friend's sister, who has been hospitalized for weeks, was released to start her long recovery.

So I'm back, officially - for now. 

I'm not sure when I'll start being active on my feed again (not that I was that active even before October 7) but I've made up my mind.

For now, I still need social media.

Friending Co-Workers on Facebook Dilemma Again

This is a reworking of a post from 2018, because it's become relevant once more.

Why am I feeling so out-of-the-loop again?

It's a strange thing.  I have always been introverted, although I do enjoy the company of a select few people.  I've been happy with that.  I admit, for the most part, I enjoy interacting with people on social media.  A lot of my introvert nature melts away online.  But just try to call me (one reader did, many years ago) and you will see a woman in her 60's in panic mode. (No, she wasn't stalking me - rather, I had posed a health question, and she was just trying to be helpful.   But I wasn't ready for it.  Fortunately, I wasn't home, my answering machine picked it up, and I never did call her back).

 But about that out of the loop feeling: I guess I've recovered enough from the pandemic to feel it again.

A photo is what started it off back in 2018.

People at work were talking about a photo a co worker had taken.  It was quite a photo (dare I say "epic"?), and he had posted it on Facebook.  That's where my co workers saw it.  Lots of co workers saw it.  Turns out that there is a whole world of my co workers interacting on Facebook with each other in their personal time.  I'll mention here that we are not permitted access to Facebook (or any social media other than LinkedIn) on our work computers, so this is all on our own time.

I've maintained a policy of not friending co workers on Facebook.  OK, I have one co worker friend on Facebook, but we've been friends outside of work for years.  I've heard of bad stuff happening when you friend co-workers on social media.  It happened at my spouse's job while he was still working (not him personally, because he isn't even active on Facebook) where some co workers/Facebook friends ended up in a fight about something work related that got back to management, and someone ended up getting fired. 

But back to that photo.  For the first time in a long time, I felt out of the loop, like I was missing out on something. I actually felt lonely, especially after someone took pity on me, whipped out their phone, opened Facebook and showed me the photo.

So that's how I found out just how many people at work were interacting with each other on Facebook.

I'm not native to this area, and it could be these people went to high school with each other, or had each other as neighbors, or are even related to each other (and we do have siblings and in laws and even parents/grown children working for my company).  But maybe there is no outside work connection outside of Facebook.  I have no idea.

Now, some three years after I blogged about this dilemma, I'm thinking about it again, because of a chance remark a co-worker made at a recent weekly departmental meeting.  Here it was again: people "friends" online and I'm not part of it.

I haven't even seen most of my co workers (except for a couple of chance encounters on a local walking trail and a couple of drive through events) since March 19, 2020. Many of us are still working from home.  Web cams aren't the same.

That work from home thing is going to change soon (and has changed already for many), but other things have changed in the meantime.

Me and my work status, for one.

I retired last year but went right back to work. I retired during the COVID lockdown, and I craved both something worthwhile to do and continued contact with my co workers.  Working part time was a good solution.  I've never regretted signing up for it.

I don't know how much longer I will continue to delay travel to places I want to go, but I will.

But I know I will be "there" one day.  I also know (or hope) I won't work forever.

Then what?  Will Facebook help me stay in touch with people I worked with for years?  I've seen (all too well) what happens when you retire. You lose touch.  On the other hand, sometimes, via social media, you find out more about people you thought you knew than you ever want to know.  That seems to be more and more true nowadays.

So: on the day I retire for good, what will I do?  Will I head for Facebook? Or will I try to keep in touch the old fashioned way?

I wonder.

Has this ever been an issue for you?

Should You Friend Co Workers on Facebook?

Why am I feeling so out-of-the-loop lately?

It's a strange thing.  I have always been introverted, although I do enjoy the company of a select few people.  I've been happy with that.  And, I enjoy interacting with people on social media.  A lot of my introvert nature melts away online.  But just try to call me (one reader did, many years ago) and you will see a woman in her 60's in panic mode. (No, she wasn't stalking me - rather, I had posed a health question, and she was just trying to be helpful.   But I wasn't ready for it.  Fortunately, I wasn't home, my answering machine picked it up, and I never did call her back).

I don't feel lonely that much.  In fact, I crave, and need, time to myself.  Fortunately, I have an understanding spouse.  But about that out of the loop feeling:

A photo is what started it off.

People at work were talking about a photo a co worker had taken.  It was quite a photo (dare I say "epic"?), and he had posted it on Facebook.  That's where my co workers saw it.  Lots of co workers saw it.  Turns out that there is a whole world of my co workers interacting on Facebook with each other in their personal time.  I'll mention here that we are not permitted access to Facebook (or any social media other than LinkedIn) on our work computers, so this is all on our own time.

I've maintained a policy of not friending co workers on Facebook.  OK, I have one co worker friend on Facebook, but we've been friends outside of work for years.  I've heard of bad stuff happening when you friend co-workers on social media.  It happened at my spouse's job (not him personally, because he isn't even active on Facebook) where some co workers/Facebook friends ended up in a fight about something work related that got back to management, and someone ended up getting fired. 

But back to that photo.  For the first time in a long time, I felt out of the loop, like I was missing out on something. I actually felt lonely, especially after someone took pity on me, whipped out their phone, opened Facebook and showed me the photo.

So that's how I found out just how many people at work were interacting with each other.  And I was totally out of that loop.

I'm not native to this area, and it could be these people went to high school with each other, or had each other as neighbors, or are even related to each other (and we do have siblings and in laws working there).  But maybe there is no outside work connection outside of Facebook.  I have no idea.

For the first time, I'm questioning my policy.  Mind you, no co worker has invited me to be their friend, which is just as well, because then I would have to face this question head on.  Also I interact with some of them on LinkedIn, but that is something totally different.

So I am going to ask my readers this question today.  Have you friended co workers on Facebook?  If so, has it been a good experience or not so good?

I'm just curious. 

My gut still says "don't do it" but if I do get an invite, I don't know what I would do.  And perhaps that is my real, unspoken, question.

Instagram - Yea or Nay?

This weekend, partially on a whim, and partially because I've been intrigued about this particular app, I joined Instagram.

For my user name, I wanted to use RamblinGarden, which is my Twitter handle, but Instagram wouldn't accept it.  I do want to keep my ramblin' "brand name" in some way.  So, for now, it's under my real name. I don't even know if I should change it, as I am not sure I want to promote my blog there.

I'm a newbie, and fumbling my way around. I am not totally encouraged by this post by a blogger, Shirley Corder, whose blog I was introduced to right before the Blogging from A to Z Challenge.  However, I took the leap, based on some feedback from my Facebook friends.

So far, the people I am following are mostly Facebook friends - a lot of them are on Instagram, too (some, I suspect, are to follow grandchildren).  This isn't a total surprise as Facebook owns Instagram.

I don't take (many) selfies.  I don't have a cute dog or cat.  (I don't HAVE a dog or cat.).  I am not pleased by the fact that you can't turn off videos (not a good thing when you are not on wi fi) only slow them down.  I certainly won't be opening the app during my lunch hour at work.  I rarely take pictures of my food, except for one of my rare recipe blog posts.  I'm somewhat private about my family.  So, should I even be on there?

I'll try not to be too disappointed by all the commercial content.  In fact, one of the first things that greeted me upon joining was a video posted by my credit union.  Ugh.  On the other hand, I quickly found, and liked, NatGeo.

But, if you follow me, you may find pictures like this, from a May 8 walk through the west side of Binghamton, New York (once I have time to upload them):

Creeping phlox (one of many I've taken, and I won't bore you further).

A young dogwood against a red maple tree

Cherry blossoms.

I do love flowers.  Can you tell?

I'll just have to see how it goes.  If you enjoy the pictures on my blog, you are welcome to follow me at alana_mautone. (I have to find some way to get a "follow me on Instagram" for my sidebar, too.)

For now, a few short questions for you, my dear readers:  are you on Instagram?  If so, what have your experiences been?


Do you still use it, or was it too disappointing?

And, what was your best resource for getting up to speed (which I don't have much time to devote to)?

Thank you for your time!

Hair - Music Monday #atozchallenge

Today, traveling through time and space, I return to the 1960's, a time of great social upheaval - just like today. 

A blogger in suburban New York City reminded me of a song that seems just perfect for today.

This is a cover of a song that was written for the Broadway show "Hair" sung by the group Three Dog Night.

This is taken from the 1979 movie based on the Broadway show.

The Broadway Show, and later movie, explored the final night of a young man from Oklahoma, a farmhand who was on his way to enlist in the Vietnam War.  He meets up with a tribe of hippies in New York City and it's love at first sight between him and a female tribe member.  There's just one problem: he's on his way to combat. So....

We live in a time when every day brings news from our government here in the United States. Some cheer.  Others become more and more fearful.

When Hair was written, in the 1960's, we were in another era where it seemed things were getting worse daily.

At work recently, a co worker came to visit another co worker.  I was just leaving for lunch, but was in the area long enough to hear co worker #1 upset because someone had just unfriended her on Facebook over a news item she had posted.  The former friend had taken it "the wrong way".

We can be so cruel to each other on social media.  Even a harmless pregnant giraffe living in upstate New York brought out the snark in some because she wasn't giving birth when expected.  Seriously?

We are all on edge.   We are increasingly polarized. 

Yes, too much like my memories of the late 1960's.

Today is "H" Day on the Blogging from A to Z Challenge.

The Collective Holding of Breath

"It’s the time to buckle down and work positively as much as you can,” she says. “Just think, ‘All right, there’s nothing I can do about that right now. But I can do my best in my little circle. So if I do that, maybe you’ll do your best and we’ll get through this." Actress Betty White, in an interview with Katy Couric, talking about division in the United States and staying positive. 


There has been so much hate flying around on Facebook this last year or so.  I came so close to blocking people (I did block someone whose posts were non stop hate.  I don't block people just because they don't support my candidate)  I knew for years.  I knew most of the people venting (on both sides) were decent, hardworking people.  I also knew that many of them were scared.  But it just got to be too much for me to read.

A reader of my blog recommended that I just "scroll on by", and that has kept my sanity.

Now, on the eve of the inauguration of the new President, many are pausing to consider what the future may be holding, for better or for worse.   What kind of world?

I don't mean the Trump-Inauguration-As-Twilight Zone-Episode article appearing in a Scottish newspaper.

Or the internet meme started over a comment by Education Secretary nominee Betsy DeVos in a discussion about if firearms had any place in schools.  

(For the benefit of my readers outside the United States, yes, there are places where students must be protected against wildlife. Grizzlies are no joke.)

No, this world:  A world, for example, where Jewish community centers all over the country are being targeted by bomb scares. 

Or a man accused of harassing a black family is said to have quite an arsenal in his house (and, by the way, his elderly parents were living in that same house.)

Hate crimes in general are on the increase.

But others are happy that their voices are being heard - voices they feel have been ignored by people on both coasts of our country. 

Division, with no unity in sight.


Recently, I have pondered my future actions, and what I will do on January 20, and thereafter. I fear, based on how history has gone before, that the divisions in our country are only going to get worse.  Love will not trump hate.  

Will I be able to work in my own little circle? Will I choose right?  And will it make a difference?

Day 19 of the Ultimate Blog Challenge.

Throwback Tuesday - Thanks for the Memories (Or Not)

I wrote the below post in August of 2015.

The Facebook Memory feature still exists.  The other day, it brought me back to a day in 2012 when I was interviewed on an internet Radio Show.

But, there was this:

The interviewer, Sandi Tuttle, died earlier this year.

I have several deceased Facebook friends, and from time to time, the memory function brings something up.

Everything lives forever on the Internet, it seems. Some memories are good - such as the memories of an August 2013 trip I took to Arkansas - but some bring up memories that may now be bittersweet, or worse.  This memory of the interview was bittersweet.

What about you?  Do you use this Facebook feature? 

Here's the original post:

Thanks for the Memories (Or Not)

Did something like this happen to you yesterday?

Yesterday I worked, walked with my spouse, and shared what we had done towards our goal of moving his mother up here closer to us, and caring for her needs, discussed our next trip to go down to her, and tried to problem solve.


I came home, opened up Facebook, and was greeted with a helpful "memory".  It was on top of my wall, and it said "[My name], we care about you and the memories you share here. We thought you'd like to look back at this post from two years ago."  It gave me two options:  share, and see more.


The photo it showed me was harmless in and of itself.  It was a picture I took of country singer Leann Rimes performing at the 2013 Spiedie Fest and Balloon Rally in Binghamton. But there was no Spiedie Fest for me this year.

That's not what bothered me about this, though.  (Well, let's be honest.  It did bother me a little.  It was a gorgeous weekend.  People at work yesterday were raving about how gorgeous it was.  But, as the saying goes, whatever.  I hope to experience more gorgeous weekends in the future, life willing.  Not everyone I know will have that opportunity, and I am fortunate.)

But:  who is to say which memories should be brought up and reshared?  Me? Or Facebook?

So, out of curiosity, I clicked on "see more".

What Facebook is wanting me to give them permission for them to send me notification of memories.  It gave me a sample of my postings onto my wall from "on this day" in 2014, and 2010.

No thank you.

Facebook only does things to make money.  This is a capitalist country, so nothing wrong with that, but they are not going to make money off helping me remember.

You know, Facebook, my mind does a good job of this, thank you very much.  I spent some 45 years without the Internet and I haven't forgotten how to remember.  If I want to remember, I can go out to my friend's timelines.  Or mine.  Or take out some old photos. 

There may be good uses for this feature- perhaps it will help families whose members struggle with dementia, for example.  Right now, thankfully, we are not one of them.

But...there is something about this I am not comfortable with.

I am not putting Facebook in charge of my memories so they can somehow make money off of it.

What do you think? Do you use the memory feature?  Does it bring up good memories, or bad?

Music Monday - Just Scroll on By

Just scroll on by - but please, not this post.

Thank you, everyone, who commented on my post of Saturday wondering if I should quit Facebook.

I was bemoaning the fact that my Facebook timeline had become a repository of political hate expressed by some of my Facebook friends.  I had, in fact, known some of them for many years and knew them to be decent people.  But this has been a political season, here in the United States, enough to bring out the worst in many.

You all had such helpful comments.  One of you, Lynda Grace, even helped me name today's blog post.  She suggested I "just scroll on by."  Ignore the hate.   Concentrate on the good.

Yes, this one is in my yard

Like this lantana flower cluster, Facebook is a mix of many colors, many opinions, many kinds of people.  It's up to me to curate my Facebook garden if I want to keep from feeling poisoned.

Another blogger, YTSL, reminded me that I majored in cultural anthropology in college.  I remembered, then, my training from so many years ago.  It enabled me to step outside my culture (well, never perfectly, and I never did field work) and examine things more from a distance.

I am still planning to spend a lot less time on Facebook - and doing a lot more blocking and "scrolling on by".  We'll see how it goes.  Already, if I had quit Facebook, I would have missed the news about my last original neighbor from back when I first moved to the neighborhood so many years ago.

I'm so glad I didn't just walk away.

Speaking of walking, since this is music Monday,  here are a couple of walking songs from my childhood.

Walk Like A Man - the Four Seasons

Walk on By - Dionne Warwick

And one from my adulthood - Walking on Sunshine by Katrina and the Waves.

Have you decided to Scroll on By on Facebook?

Should I Quit Facebook?

I'm not the only person thinking that.  I asked Google, and got back 3,590,000 results.

Why would I ever want to quit Facebook?

I would miss being able to post pictures of my day lilies trying to teach us some life lessons.

Enjoy each day., says this lily.  Be true to yourself.

Well, to tell the truth, nowadays when I get on Facebook, what I stare at is hate.  Lots and lots of hate.  Mainly from friends in the United States, but some from overseas.

Name calling.

People wishing harm on other people.

People saying things that would have gotten their mouths washed out with soap had they grown up in my Mom's apartment in the 1950's.

I feel like I am slowly being poisoned.

I am not talking about normal political discussion.  I don't mind my Facebook friends being of different political persuasions.  What I do mind is the tone this discussion has taken on in the past few months.  Yes, we in America are scared, are frustrated, and are looking for answers.  I get all that.  I am frustrated and looking for answers, too.  And, I am scared of various directions my country, and its citizens, are taking.

I visited with some of my spouse's cousins the other day.  They have different political beliefs from my spouse and me.  But they are willing to listen and to ask questions, to find out where the other person is coming from.  One gave me some advice, and recommended I go through my timeline, and hide the posts that make me feel the way I do.

For some, it will need more than hiding. So far, I've blocked one person (several months ago - almost every post one of pure hate) and am seriously thinking of blocking a couple of more.

It's a shame.  What is happening on my timeline makes me think that I am now interacting with strangers.

I like some of these people who do these postings.  I know they aren't evil.  Perhaps  a form of temporary insanity has taken over.  I don't want to give Facebook up, I tell myself, over that.

I get a lot of news from Facebook.  Remember Friday's post, where I blogged about a young cousin of my spouse's?  I found out about his birth on Facebook.  Earlier this week, I found out the mother of someone I had known here locally (she has since moved) had passed away.

I found out a relative lost his job recently on Facebook.

I found out about Munich and Orlando from Facebook.

I find, more and more, businesses are on Facebook and don't update websites.  I depend on Facebook for farmers market happenings and more.

A lot of my blogging contacts come via Facebook.  The challenges I occasionally participate in require membership in Facebook.

I could wish we all could still discuss things without considering those who disagree with us as our mortal enemies.  Take these lilies, for example.

These day lilies are not your usual lilies.  But they co exist with the lily above, and the lily below.

Wishful thinking for a perfect world. But maybe not.  This lily, showing its beautiful peach color,  teaches us a lesson:

Life is too short.  Give life everything you have, and don't waste the time allotted you.

So this is my decision: Life really is too short to read my timeline without massive hiding of posts, although I may try it starting today.

What I have decided to do is mainly concentrate on some special interest groups (music, crocheting, blogging) I belong to.  I may not spend much time on my timeline. I will look for DMs, though, in case someone wants to contact me.

We'll see how it goes.

How do you feel about Facebook?

Is The Pen Still Mighty?

Everyone who writes has a fantasy. One day, we will take up our pens (or typewriters, or computers, or smartphones/tablets). We will write something that changes the world for the better.

Women have done it before.

Uncle Tom's Cabin, by Harriet Beecher Stowe.

Twenty Years at Hull House by Jane Addams

Diary of a Young Girl by Anne Frank (yesterday would have been her 87th birthday had she survived the Holocaust).

To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee.

The Harry Potter books by J. K. Rowling, which changed popular culture forever. (How my son loved those books).

But it doesn't have to be a book anymore.  It can be a text, or a letter, or even a social media posting.

Perhaps, a long letter from a woman known only as Emily Doe will join those books.  It is a letter written by a 23 year old woman who was sexually assaulted by a young man, who was about to be let off with a "slap on the wrist" six months sentence.  Boys will be boys, after all.  And this young man was a star athlete.  And, dare I say it, white.

Business as usual, in our United States.

Emily Doe's letter may join those books on the list of writing that changes our world.  Maybe, just maybe.  This woman is powerful and strong in her telling of what happened, and how it changed her life forever.   The letter I've linked to is graphic.  Chilling.  Not just what was done to her, but the aftermath.  Sleepless nights.  Fear.  Having to quit her job.  The trial she endured, where she was asked questions straight out of 1965.  Did she have a boyfriend?  Were they intimate?

You will flinch when you read the letter.  You should read it.  Every word of it.  And flinch.

Yes, she had gone to a party.  Yes, she had drank too much.    So what happened next became her fault, while the father of the young man who did what he did to her near a dumpster referred to what his son did as "20 minutes of action". 

Thankfully, two men came upon them and acted, and were witnesses at the trial.

Athletes have been able to get away with that "action" for a long, long time.  This man claimed consent, which the facts of the case contraindicate.  Now, it is past time for this injustice to be addressed.   No more blaming the victim.  No more allowing star athletes to do what they want just because they are athletes.  No more judges judging these cases with a wink and a nod.

The Stanford letter, as it is now called, has unleashed the fury of a nation.

Over one million people have signed a petition for the impeachment of the judge on change.org.   Over 120,000 people have signed a petition to the White House for the impeachment of the judge.

I read about the judge first.   Despite the controversy, he was just reappointed for a new term. He may or may not removed.  Normally, I would agree that a verdict should not be interfered with. But, this is not that kind of case.

Whether this ends in impeachment for this judge because of this letter, I can only hope that, one way or the other, justice for Emily Doe is done.

Emily Doe, may life, going forward, be good to you.

The Bucket List

There have been several variations of this meme, which has been circulating on Facebook for a few months.  Several of my Facebook friends have played along.

I tend to be a private person, and I don't tell that many personal stories about myself.  But yesterday, a blogger in India noticed that, in a post about my father, I mentioned that he had served in the United States Army Air Force in World War II, and was stationed in India for part of that time.  She asked if I had any memories I could share.

What I do remember is some of the stories of his service that he used to tell me when he put me to bed at night.  One day, I will share them, from what I remember.  I don't remember much, and I regret it.   He didn't talk about his service all that much, and I realize, as an adult, that many of his generation ("The Greatest Generation") never shared their experiences.


With his memories, he also shared several items from what we now call a bucket list here in the States - a list of things you want to see, experience, or do before you die - with me.

While in India, my father was fortunate enough to have seen the Taj Mahal, and wanted to see it again before he died.  He never was able to go back, though.

Two other items on his bucket list, both not accomplished, was seeing New Orleans during Mardi Gras and seeing Washington DC during cherry blossom season.  He never accomplished these either.  And, come to think of it, neither have I.

So, just for fun, I am going to share this meme with you (one version of it) along with my responses.  This isn't a bucket list, but it is still fun to see some of the things I've accomplished or experienced.  And, if you could share an item from your bucket list in the comments, I would love to hear it.

"Bucket List - please play along. You'll be surprised at the responses. Put an "X" in the box if you have done it! Just copy and paste to your timeline (or maybe blog).
( )Shot a gun
( )Gone on a blind date
(X) Skipped school
(x) Watched someone die
(x)Visited Canada
( )Visited Hawaii
( ) Visited Cuba
()Visited Europe
() Visited South America
(X)Visited Las Vegas
( ) Visited Central America
() Visited Asia
( )Visited Africa
(X) Visited Florida
(x)Visited Mexico
(X ) Seen the Grand Canyon in person
( )Flown in a helicopter
( ) Served on a jury
(X)Been lost
( X) Traveled to the opposite side of the country
(x)Visited Washington, DC
(X) Swam in the Ocean
(X) Cried yourself to sleep
(X) Played cops and robbers
(X) Played cowboys and Indians (Indians in my youth, now Native Americans).
( ) Recently colored with crayons
( ) Sang karaoke
( )Sang a solo or duet in church
(X)Paid for a meal with coins only
( ) Made prank phone calls
(X) Laughed until some beverage came out of your nose
(X)Caught a snowflake on your tongue
(X)Had children
(X) Had a pet
( )Been skinny-dipping
(X) Been fishing
(X) Been boating
( ) Been Downhill Skiing
( )Been water skiing
( ) Been camping in a trailer/RV
(X) Been camping in a tent
( )Driven a motorcycle
( ) Been bungee-jumping
(X) Gone to a drive-in movie
(X) Done something that could have killed you
 ( )Done something that you will regret for the rest of your life
( ) Rode an elephant
(X)Rode a camel
(X) Eaten just cookies or cake or ice cream for dinner
(X) Been on TV
( )Stolen any traffic signs
(X)Been in a car accident
( )Been in the Hospital in past 24 months
(X) Donated blood
() Gotten a (speeding) or any other type of ticket in the past 12 months
() Gotten a piercing (ears count)
()Gotten a Tattoo
(X) Driven a manual transmission vehicle
( ) Ever owned your dream car
(X)Been Married
( ) Been divorced
(X)Fell in love
(X) Fell out of love
( ) Paid for a strangers meal
( )Driven over 120 mph
( ) Been scuba diving
( ) Written a published book/story/poetry
(X )Eaten snails

Local Saturday - Goodbye to An Average Superwoman

Farewell, Sandi Tuttle, an Average Superwoman.  You were anything but average.

I cybermet you at the very first Author Blog Challenge in June of 2012 (along with several other awesome writers who also became my Facebook friends).  I won a prize from you - a T Shirt that said "If I have wings, why can't I fly?" (For those not of a certain age, that refers to, umm, certain flaps that develop under your arms.  Don't smirk.  You'll see.)

You gave me my 30 minutes of fame.

You interviewed me for your Internet radio show, where you talked with me about one of my passions, community gardening.  I thank you for the opportunity to get the word out about community gardening and local food growing.

Meanwhile, you were doing so much more in your community.  You fought the good fight against bullying and battled against the fashion industry tears down women's self image.  You made wraps for people with breast cancer.  You declared your intentions to one day write a book.  You called yourself an Average Superwoman.

Through your blog and Facebook, I felt that I knew you, even though we never met.

And then, you were diagnosed with an aggressive cancer. 

At one point you blogged about a tenacious leaf you looked at, outside your chemo room, and how it clung on despite everything the winter weather could throw its way.  Another time, you blogged about losing your mojo.  When the infrequent Author Blog Challenge started up this past September, you tried to participate - this was your last post.

I learned about your death earlier this week the way so many of us do nowadays - through Facebook.

Today, we mourn you, Sandi Tuttle, a way Above Average Superwoman.

Cancer sucks.

Thanks for the Memories (Or Not)

Did something like this happen to you yesterday?

Yesterday I worked, walked with my spouse, and shared what we had done towards our goal of moving his mother up here closer to us, and caring for her needs, discussed our next trip to go down to her, and tried to problem solve.


I came home, opened up Facebook, and was greeted with a helpful "memory".  It was on top of my wall, and it said "[My name], we care about you and the memories you share here. We thought you'd like to look back at this post from two years ago."  It gave me two options:  share, and see more.


The photo it showed me was harmless in and of itself.  It was a picture I took of country singer Leann Rimes performing at the 2013 Spiedie Fest and Balloon Rally in Binghamton. But there was no Spiedie Fest for me this year.

That's not what bothered me about this, though.  (Well, let's be honest.  It did bother me a little.  It was a gorgeous weekend.  People at work yesterday were raving about how gorgeous it was.  But, as the saying goes, whatever.  I hope to experience more gorgeous weekends in the future, life willing.  Not everyone I know will have that opportunity, and I am fortunate.)

But:  who is to say which memories should be brought up and reshared?  Me? Or Facebook?

So, out of curiosity, I clicked on "see more".

What Facebook is wanting me to give them permission for them to send me notification of memories.  It gave me a sample of my postings onto my wall from "on this day" in 2014, and 2010.

No thank you.

Facebook only does things to make money.  This is a capitalist country, so nothing wrong with that, but they are not going to make money off helping me remember.

You know, Facebook, my mind does a good job of this, thank you very much.  I spent some 45 years without the Internet and I haven't forgotten how to remember.  If I want to remember, I can go out to my friend's timelines.  Or mine.  Or take out some old photos. 

There may be good uses for this feature- perhaps it will help families whose members struggle with dementia, for example.  Right now, thankfully, we are not one of them.

But...there is something about this I am not comfortable with.

I am not putting Facebook in charge of my memories so they can somehow make money off of it.

What do you think?

The Banana Slicer is Mightier than the Inflatable Toast

It's Friday!  It's time for a good laugh!  After a frustrating day at work, I need one.

I am a fan of actor George Takei on Facebook. If you want to learn how to be a Facebook Superstar, study this man.  Many people know him as the actor who played Mr. Sulu in the 1960's TV series Star Trek, but, in a future few in the 1960's envisioned, he is now a Social Media giant.  A social media giant at age 75, that is.  To those of us not of a "certain age", you have no idea how good that makes us feel.

His posts are authentic, mostly upbeat, and almost always relevant.

Today, though, he was actually posting something I had already blogged almost four months ago:  Amazon reviews.  Specially, Amazon reviews of certain  - well, unusual products.

The Hutzler 571 Banana Slicer is about to have its 15 minutes of fame.  And I was there first, reporting about it back in December.  Take THAT, George Takei!  (Please enjoy my post - I made sure all the links still work.)

In a way, I felt bad for the manufacturer of this banana slicer. There he is, trying to sell a product which is designed to - well, slice bananas.  And people are posting sarcastic, glowing reviews such as these:  (quoted from actual reviews):

I had to resort to carefully attempt to slice those bananas with my bare hands. 99.9% of the time, I would get so frustrated that I just ended up squishing the fruit in my hands and throwing it against the wall in anger. Then, after a fit of banana-induced rage, my parole officer introduced me to this kitchen marvel and my life was changed.

And how about this gem:

this is one of the greatest inventions of all time. My husband and I would argue constantly over who had to cut the day's banana slices. It's one of those chores NO ONE wants to do! You know, the old "I spent the entire day rearing OUR children, maybe YOU can pitch in a little and cut these bananas?" and of course, "You think I have the energy to slave over your... bananas? I worked a 12 hour shift just to come home to THIS?!".... The minute I heard our 6-year-old girl in her bedroom, re-enacting our daily banana fight with her Barbie dolls, I knew we had to make a change.

Now, THESE are the people who should be participating in Camp NaNoWriMo, not me.  (I promise to blog about my progress soon.)  If I had half of those writing skills....

But, as it turns out,  the manufacturer is thrilled with the attention their slicer has received.  And, apparently, Amazon is beginning to realize that these reviews drive traffic to their site - especially when George Takei posts on Facebook about it.

There is a lesson here for business owners, business bloggers and social media experts, but you'll have to find it for yourself.  I'm too busy laughing.

Here are some more of my favorite products on Amazon.  I hope they become favorites of yours, too.

Inflatable Toast
The Wenger 16999 Swiss Army Knife (darn, would have made a perfect birthday gift for my son.)
The Three Wolf Shirt (stop making fun of this shirt! My spouse loves them!)

Do you have a favorite Amazon review?

Author Blog Challenge - A Flock of Seagull

I am pre-writing this post as I will be on the road today, returning to my home in upstate New York from a vacation in Florida and Georgia.

I was part of a 15 Day Author Blog Challenge during this time, but didn't have time for much participation.  But, I did learn some lessons.  One didn't come from the Challenge.

Yesterday a new Pope was elected.  Before that happened, a seagull that perched on the chimney where the ballot smoke would appear became famous.  The gull was caught on "camera" - the voting-smoke cam, to be exact.

Reporters speculated on the symbolism.  Fake Twitter accounts were set up.

And then, white smoke flowed out of the chimney, and the seagull was forgotten.  Old news.

How did this relate to the Author Blog Challenge?

The 15 Day Author Blog Challenge asked us to explore types of social media most of us we are familiar with:  Facebook, Twitter, You Tube, GoodReads, Pinterest - and less well known sites - FourSquare, Quora, and Ning, among others.

It could be because most of my life took place before the Internet came into its current state of being, but I find social media to be a huge time-suck.  In other words, there are only so many hours in a day, and using social media is like falling into a hole - a hole without a bottom.  

Authors can use social media - but, if they are not careful, social media will use them.

Anyone who uses social media for business (in my opinion) needs to be strong, needs to stay focused and to ignore (literary expression) the siren call of the Internet.  Authors need to weigh carefully the time spent vs. the return in time.

Some users hit the big time:  the founders of the Huffington Post and Boing Boing, the woman who founded the blog Bakerella,  and the people whose blogs have led to book contracts and even movies.  But for too many of us, we will never hit that big time. Not that we shouldn't try, but we should be aware of the risks.

I'm still trying to analyze how to use social media but, thanks to this Challenge, I now have the experiences of different authors and others to guide me.  Thank you, all participants in the WABC!

Social media is not "bad". But, it should just be another tool in the utility belt of the author.

Otherwise, authors may end up like a certain seagull living in the Vatican - finding that the world has moved on, and wondering what the heck happened.

Have you had success with your writing or business, and use of social media?

Civil War Sunday - What If Social Media Had Existed During the Civil War?

I love historical "what if modern ___ was around during (some other point in history)" as long as they are done well.  They help people grow in their understanding and love of history if they can frame something that happened in another time and place within the context of their own lives and culture.  As long as it is done with accuracy, I think there is a place for something like what I am about to describe.

Yesterday and today, in the 15 Day Author Blog Challenge I am participating in, the prompts involved if we, as bloggers, have a Facebook fan page for our blog and if we tweet.  (I'll answer that for this blog at the end of this post.)

So I got to thinking:  what if social media had been around during the United States Civil War?

Various satirists have done article or books on the subject of "what would have happened if Facebook had been around for _____" 

So, I thought about it some more.  Had anyone actually set up parody or serious "what if" accounts on the real Facebook or Twitter for Civil War historical figures?

Apparently, there is at least one Twitter account for the Confederate General Robert E. Lee (not kept up for very long) and one for Union General U.S. Grant, which is being kept up.  Robert E. Lee has a Facebook "public figure" page, which is not the same as a "fan page" (I don't think, anyway).  The links earlier in this paragraph are what I found out in a brief search.  You may discover something unique (or not) if you look - who knows!

As far as my own Facebook and Twitter accounts for this blog,if you are interested:

RamblinWithAM has a Facebook Fan Page.  I use it mainly to post links to my blog (not every day, but usually) and I also post articles or posts from other blogs that fit into some of the themes I discuss in my blogs - farmers markets, local food, gardening, the Civl War, and autism, for example.  I find I am using Facebook less and less - and I use it mainly to keep in touch with far flung relatives plus some game playing.  It excels at visual content. 

I have a Twitter account under @RamblinGarden.  I do not automatically follow back anyone who follows me, nor do I expect anyone I follow to follow me back.  I use Twitter mainly as a way to keep track of breaking news, which I have found it excels at. I usually tweet my daily blog posts and also retweet tweets that interest me.

It would have been interesting to know if any actual Civil War figures would have utilized Facebook or Twitter (or You Tube, as another example of social media) if they had been around 152 years ago.  Do you have any opinions about that?

Remission

I had to step back.

A combination of a big day in my life, several days of lingering illness (I'm finally starting to feel better), a birthday and "too much social media overload" made me step back for a couple of days.

I shut off the computer yesterday (except for maintaining my blog), turned my back on Facebook, and only did one brief email check.  Today, I checked email only because I was expecting some big news in relation to a longtime friend who is battling cancer, and stayed off of Facebook except for a couple of brief visits.

Guess for me, that is being unplugged.

I will return to normal but not quite yet.  Tonight I am just going to enjoy the evening and catch up with some (hard copy) reading.  I will continue to blog, but don't expect anything extensive for a couple of more days.

Aahhhhh.....

And if you are wondering why the balloons....my friend in Brooklyn knows why.  I am so thrilled because she is....in....Remission.

The big R word.

The joy is tempered because I know others who are still fighting that nasty, unfair fight.  But today, this dread disease has suffered one setback and I hope there will be more and more setbacks for The Big C.  I hope, and pray, that one day no one will ever have to fight this fight, ever again.

Dear friend, tonight I celebrate with you.

Dying Online

When I came home from work tonight, I found a post on Facebook from a cousin who graduated from a local college last year.  She was mourning the death of a fellow classmate.    In other words, my cousin was announcing the death of someone who died - as we older people like to say - too soon.

I don't know how this young woman died, but a quick look online revealed two things.

First, I was a third degree connection of hers on LinkedIn.  The person linking us used to work with me and now works at the college she intended.

Second, my cousin was her friend on Facebook, meaning she was a friend of a friend of mine.

Because of these connections, I was able to see her picture on LinkedIn, and was able to view her timeline on Facebook. (Least this sound creepy, I didn't linger long- I just wanted to know something about this person who meant something to one of my cousins and who was linked to me through social media.) Meantime, her college has organized a candlelight vigil for her in physical life. 

I can mourn the untimely passing of someone I never knew thanks to social media.

When I graduated from high school, many of those in my graduating class went on to college.  Two members of my class died within a year, both on the same weekend, in unrelated car accidents.

I didn't find out about this (because I didn't know either individual) for many years later. I went to an urban high school in NYC, and there were a lot of people in my graduating class.

Now, we know something like this in hours. 

In a way, this woman will live forever through her social networking accounts.  I know that Facebook has a procedure for "memorializing" the account of a dead person, and that there have been attempts to pass state laws controlling the process of what happens to a dead person's account..  I don't know how LinkedIn handles it.

But it did get me to thinking about what I should do about my own accounts.

Have you faced this type of situation in your life?

The New Normal- Why You Should Vote

Two weeks ago Saturday, I was partying with some of them at a 60th birthday party on the edge of New York City.  Today, they are recovering from a natural disaster, every one of them.

Two weeks ago, the New York/New Jersey metropolitan area could never dream what would happen next. They have collided with the New Normal.

I have other friends/family in New York City, Long Island, New Jersey and Westchester County.  This is what happened, and why it is important to vote. 

I realize this happens to Florida and the Gulf Coast a lot more, but the extent of this storm was massive - the total area it covered was something not seen often in our lifetimes.  The nature of these storms is changing.  Less wind.  Larger area.

A cousin at the party had water in his house, his car is undriveable and possibly totalled, and he still did not have power as of when I heard of them last

Mother in law, didn't have power 5 days ago; she's home now but had to take refuge with first a family member and later a neighbor's daughter.

Husband's cousin-in-law (is there a better name for this relationship?), without power, expected restoration was November 4, let's hope so.  Her daughter, no power, expected restoration, November 9.  CIL's mother has Alzheimers, and can't understand what is going on.  Speaking of being in the sandwich generation...

Cousin in Brooklyn, without power 55 hours, has it back now but heating system isn't working.  Neighborhood 1/2 mile away is totally devastated.   Gas lines are two to three hours long in some neighborhoods as of yesterday.

New Jersey relatives were without power. One moved down to Florida several months ago and was very unhappy.  Turns out she made the right choice as her former home area is in ruins.


Brooklyn relative talks about New York Marathon and how they took generators that residents could use and used them for Marathon tents. He posted on Facebook explaining  how Midtown Manhattan got their cell phone service restored and the rest of the five boroughs got ignored.  A high school friend who is a runner got involved in the relief effort, and a "helping" marathon was held yesterday.

We saw the best and the worst of people, through the fingers of friends communicating on social media.  Facebook was essential.  Twitter was helpful.  Smart phones, when charging was available, useful.  iPads were better, for some reason.

So, dear reader, what have we learned, as a hurricane hit an area of the country that one would not normally hit?

We've learned that this isn't the first time New York City has been brought to its (figurative) knees by weather.  There was this little storm called The Blizzard of 1888. 

Partially because of the Blizzard, itself a superstorm, the subways were built, and powerlines in Manhattan were put under ground.  The system worked - until Monday.  Times have changed.

Now we have to rethink our cities near the coast.  Sandy showed us just how vulnerable we are.  Our lifelines of gasoline and cell phones were cut.  Storms aren't storms any more, they are super storms.  Perhaps weaker winds, but the storms now cover huge areas.  Imagine - this storm affected the weather in Chicago while it was tearing up New Jersey!

We must adapt or die. Maybe NOW we will no longer think our lives are "business as usual". Too many people have had their lives disrupted for too long.  Will we finally wake up and realize we must adapt to what is going on around us?  That we have to spend the money to rebuild and improve our infrastructure to cope with the changes in the weather?

We have mixed politics and meteorology too many times recently.  This must stop.  Hoping the affected people can get to a voting booth and express what they feel.

If we don't face the facts, our lifestyles won't be sustainable for very much longer.

My thoughts continue to go out to all those affected by Sandy.

And, the final lesson of the past week?  VOTE TOMORROW.  Even if you think it won't matter.  Even if you think your candidate will lose.  Haven't been paying attention? Pick up today's newspaper, if you can. You can read newspapers without power (at least during daytime hours.)

Exercise your right to vote tomorrow.  Or shut up for the next four years.