Am I Ready to Be Criticized?

Yesterday, I blogged about needing to fail, because I haven't stretched myself as a blogger the way I did in my very first blogging challenge four years ago.

The WordCount Blogathon (ancestor of the challenge I am in this month) used to give prizes for blogging all thirty days.  The second year I participated, I won a writing critique.  I never used it.

I wasn't ready.

A couple of my readers yesterday (thank you!) suggested I join Internet writing groups or critique groups.  This time, I didn't react in fear.  Perhaps I am ready.  Well, nearly ready.

It's taken me since 2011 to realize that people critiquing your work is people critiquing your work, not people telling you that you, as a person, are a worthless person.  My writing has always been tied up with my self worth.  That will always be true, but I must learn to separate the two somewhat.

I've seen some horrible, horrible attacks on writers on sites such as Good Reads masquerading as book reviews.  I know that is part of the territory.  The Internet attracts trolls, just as it attracts the wonderful bloggers and readers of my blogs.

I'm going to take the advise not to blog a book, at least at this time.

I don't know if this Blogathon is going to have a Haiku Day, or any other kind of day, so I will make up my own event.  Later this month, I am thinking of trying my hand at Five Sentence fiction, and seeing what happens.   I might even try a writing prompt.  All for fun and growth.

I will do my book writing offline, for Camp NaNoWriMo in July, and let you know my progress.

For tomorrow, there is my Spring Things Wednesday feature.  So much spring, so little time!   So, enough writing about writing.

Thank you, all who have commented recently.

A Star of the (Word) Cloud

It is the last day of the 2014 FLX/Word Count Blogathon. It is time to both look back and look ahead.


One of the traditions of the WordCount Blogathon (this year, the FLX/WordCount Blogathon) is a day devoted to making word clouds.  It's an excellent way to learn something about your blog.

There are a couple of different (free) programs you can find online to make word clouds.  One is Wordle. This year, I tried them and got a message that my Java plug in is outdated.  I didn't want to bother trying to update Java, so instead, I used a program I had last used a couple of years ago - Tagxedo.  There are some other programs out there, too.

Here is a word cloud I made from my blog as of yesterday, June 29, and you can see what has been on my mind the last few days, or, at least, keywords appearing in my blog posts.  Binghamton, the city in upstate New York I work in, has taken a lot of my thinking. Writing (of course), reading, boks, gardening, and even chickens.  Now, why "ago" is prominent, I can't imagine.  Can you?

Now, contrast with a word cloud I made last Sunday.  Just a bit different!

You can change the color, and the positioning of the words.  And, just in a week, see the differences in the cloud.  It was the week I wrote about my brother in law, and it also showed previous posts about cancer, and also showed my love of flowers.

But now for a confession, as we say goodbye to June.

I didn't get as much out of the WordCount Blogathon this year as I have in previous years.  I don't blame the Blogathon or my fellow participants - no, far from it.  I think, rather, that it is my mood this last month or so.  I have a lot on my mind.  But, life goes on, and I want to make the most of the beginning of summer.

And thank you again, my readers, for coming to my blog.  You are the ones who make it fun, and I appreciate each and every one of you.

So, what is in store for my blog in July?

I plan to participate in two blogging challenges in July.  They may be my last ones for a while.  One, which may be ending with the July session, is the Ultimate Blog Challenge.  The other one is
NaBloPoMo, which is celebrating the beginning of its (her?) second decade.

Registration is open until July 5, if you want to join some awesome bloggers (I already read several of these blogs) for the month of July.  I am probably not going to use too many of the prompts, but they are there if you wish to use them.

I am going to resume my normal blog writing in July, after a number of autism-themed post in June.  Those normal themes are a summer theme on Wednesdays, a sustainability theme on Saturdays, and my Civil War Sunday theme.  The rest of the time, anything goes but I promise you a few gardening posts, some peeks at our community garden, at least a couple of farmers market posts, and plenty of flower pictures.  I may still blog about autism - after all, my brother in law "B" will remain a part of my life for years to come.

What are you planning in July?

Gratitude

Bloggers don't say "thank you" often enough to our readers.  So:

Thank you, dear readers, for staying with me for this month of constant straying from my normal blogging schedule.  I appreciate each and every one of you!

About a month ago I blogged my goals for June on my blog for the 2014 FLX/WordCount Blogathon.  How have I done?


On May 23 (only a month ago!) I blogged:

"Sometime in June, my spouse's guardianship application to become his brother's guardian will be heard in court.  During that time I will be spending even more time with both an aging my mother in law and the brother in law with autism.

Blogging, and looking into turning some of the posts into a book one day, could be a good first step to consolidate some of my thoughts."

 Last week, the hearing was held. I did spend part of the week with my mother in law (mid 80's), both down where she lives and up here near Binghamton, NY, with a couple of other family members who live locally.  It was an educational week.  What it made me realize is that I really don't want to blog that much about my care giving journey, at least not on this blog.

Why not? Because I am a private person at heart and my family also deserves the protection of that privacy - I feel I've blogged enough about some of our challenges for a while. The Internet is not a private place, as some of us sometimes forget. That doesn't mean I never want to mention my mother in law or "B" in my blog again, or write a book on the topic of my involvement in the life with a relative who has autism one day, but I have concluded it shouldn't be an everyday topic. And, I don't have the time and energy for a second blog - at least right now.

In that May 23 post I also blogged:

"I was hoping to use a 2014 WordCount Blogathon to kickstart this book.  The very first WordCount Blogathon I participated in (2011) made my blog what it is today - through it I found the Ultimate Blog Challenge and the rest is history.  I've also been blogging daily since late April of 2011 and I need a different challenge than just blogging daily.

So, my decision is made.  I am going to test the waters and devote a lot (not all) of my June blog to autism.  Maybe not to a book, but to something that may become a book"

So, in that sense, this exploration has been a success - I know more about where I'm going, or at least, where I'm not going.

I tried it.  That's the important thing.  If I've given information, or encouragement, to any reader, I've succeeded.  So I do not consider this learning as a failure.

I'll just find another way to accomplish what I want.

If you do want me to continue to blog occasionally (occasionally being the key word here) about "B", please feel free to leave a comment.  I may consider doing it if there is enough interest.  Otherwise, it is back to my normal blog programming, with one last theme day for the Blogathon next Monday, starting tomorrow.

So still once again, thank you.  I am grateful that you stopped by.

Summertime and the Writing is Haiku

In summer, each breeze
Tells us to enjoy the now
As winter awaits

Saturday, on the first day of summer, I took a picture of this yellow dahlia in my front yard.  It was a day made for poetry, a poem with a 5/7/5 word structure.

In the 2014 FLX/WordCount Blogathon I am participating in this month, a tradition is Haiku Day. I've been writing a haiku each year since 2011 for the Blogathon.  Mine will probably never be ready for glory, but I do have fun.

But, getting back to my haiku for today:  it is not a true haiku.    Nor is a lot of what you find "haiku" true haiku, including the contest I blog further about below. 

Instead, I more tend to write in photography-visual images.

This was my back yard a mere three mere months ago.

March 15.

April 21 (bloodroot in bloom)

May 7 (Daffodils in front yard)

June 3, Yellow Iris in front

June 6, Rhododendron Glow in Last Light of Day

June 15, Brunnera macrophylla Jack Frost

Fleeting beauty, this home planted hanging basket.

As I sit in the yard, on a beautifully sunny first day of summer, gentle breezes blow.  Birds sing.

The birds sing (in my imagination) "Enjoy the day, the hour, as none of us know how much longer we will be here to enjoy this world.  And that is why summer is fleeting.  If summer were year round, would you hold it close?  Or would you think it commonplace and boring?"

I am still an amateur at writing Haiku. Someone I've known for years, though, had a few minutes of fame with a New York Times Haiku Challenge.  

This person reads my blog, so I wanted to give a little shoutout to this person, a lifelong resident of New York City.   I sometimes read haiku on that person's Facebook timeline.  Maybe I should make haiku a habit, too.

Have you ever tried to write haiku?

Another Change in Direction

We are feeling our way, lost in an unknown land, without a guide, as the guardianship process for my brother in law with autism crawls along.  We've never had a guide for anything pertaining to my brother in law, who was born long before the autism epidemic I touched on yesterday started.

Here I am, a blogger and writer.  Shouldn't I be writing that guide, that book, describing what we have done? What has worked, what hasn't? Our mistakes, so that others don't repeat them?  There are millions of people out there with children with autism, being born or in the process of growing up.  They will need a guide as they transition from raising a child to helping their child in adulthood.

If I don't write it, then who will?, I ask myself.

And then, I get second thoughts.

First, blogging is not book writing.  I enjoy blogging.  It uses an informal voice, it uses links to other blogs and websites, and you can insert other media.  In particular, I enjoy taking photos and posting them.  Others make videos.  I sometimes link to You Tube videos at times.

Books are more static.  It's a whole other thing, I am finding.

I'm finding I'm staying up at night thinking about the blog.  I don't like that.

Also, in thinking about our guardianship efforts, a lot of what we have experienced is specific to New York State, where both we and "B", my brother in law with autism, live.  Some of his other experiences are New York specific (such as something called "Medicaid Service Coordination".

And finally - I think I am rethinking just how much our experience will help others in the future, as social service and societal attitudes are changing so rapidly.  My guide may end up being a historical curiosity if I do it wrong.

 I hoped to use this month's posts as a springboard to (perhaps) writing that guidebook I wish I had in my library.  Now, I am rethinking the project  Perhaps not blogging that book, but gathering thoughts for further editing.  Right now I'm too thought scattered to make a success of this.

I will still do it, just on a smaller scale for now.

In the meantime, I have decided to cut back some (not all together) on the autism posts for this month.  I will still have my Spring Things (I hope you love what I have planned for tomorrow), my Sustainable Saturday.

This is not a failed experiment. In fact, I'm glad I tried it.  I'll just have to see how it progresses.  Worst case, I'll have content for my blog.  There's nothing wrong with that.

If you feel you will get value from more autism posts, please feel free to comment on what might help you.

And, see you tomorrow with some lovely spring photos from upstate New York.

Meet A Statistic

Statistics can be so impersonal.

You can read, for example "the rate of autism is one in 68 children in the United States".  Or, that, just two years ago, it was one in 88.  And before that, one in 100.  And before that....but I don't want to talk about autism statistics today.

What I want to talk about is one of the people in this country with autism - my brother in law.

The world my brother in law grew up in influenced a lot of his life, as it does for us all.  It also influenced the choices that were made for him - both in childhood and adulthood.  It shaped his personality and how he behaves now.  The world of the 1950's and 1960's was one so different than now.

Let me give you a little peek into my brother in law's history.

My brother in law was born in the 1950's, having two older siblings.  Both siblings developed normally. The older is my spouse.

In his infancy, my brother in law, who I will call "B" in these posts, became sick and ran a very high fever.  According to my mother in law, the fever was the dividing line between normal development and things that seemed more and more wrong, compared to how his two older siblings had developed.

The medical profession's answer to that was to offer her criticism and blame.

For example, he wasn't showing any signs of learning to talk and the doctor said it was because she was "spoiling" him.  "B" didn't speak until he was nearly five.

When it came time for his first communion and confirmation, the priest didn't want him to participate, at least not right away.

At some point in education, "B" was put into "special education" classes at what in New York State was called BOCES.  In those days before IDEA and also something called "Section 504" the right of the disabled to a free, appropriate public education did not exist the way it does now.

The BOCES placement did not work for my brother in law.  Every day he would come home, bullied yet again.

At some point, a caring teacher saw something in "B", and he ended up back in "regular" education, graduating high school.  Remember there were no support groups, no Internet, and not even a name for what my brother in law was experiencing.   Until one of her friends talked my mother in law into taking my brother in law to a special place where they would study him, and there would finally be a name, an explanation.

He was 19.  And, the name was autism.

After a short lived try at college (again, without any supports), it was found that my brother in law had some ability to work with his hands, and "B" ended up at an organization called The ARC.  Back then it was called the Association for Retarded Children.   This is a name that would never be tolerated today in the United States.  But, for my brother in law, this became a haven.  The ARC has a long, distinguished history.  His local ARC was founded, in 1974, by parents who craved better for their disabled children.  This year, it celebrates its 50th anniversary.

Here's some more about my brother in law.

My brother in law craves routine, as do all with autism.  His senses are super sensitive. Thunderstorms frighten him.   He had frequent temper tantrums as a young child until he finally learned to talk.  Even today, his ability to carry a conversation is limited, and most conversation is confined to a few specific topics (the weather, a baseball team he loves). 

"B" is not easy to know. He speaks in a flat voice, not making eye contact. He has an ability to remember dates and the weather on each day of his life, but do not think of him as "Rain Man". Every individual "on the spectrum" as the autism spectrum is called, has different strengths and weaknesses.

But, it is clear that he needs help with a lot in life, including advocating for his own future.

Tomorrow - more about the guardianship process my spouse is undergoing.

A Fortieth Wedding Anniversary and Continuing an Autism Journey

Autism has been in my life for almost forty-four years. It entered my life almost to the day I started to date my spouse.  It entered quietly in the form of his younger brother. 

Today, we are celebrating our fortieth wedding anniversary.   We have been through our share of good times and bad times in these forty years.  We hope we will travel through life together for years to come.  Meanwhile, this younger brother of my spouse's is still in our lives, and still part of our journey.  He's a huge responsibility and my spouse's responsibility will soon be growing even more.

As regular readers of this blog know, my brother in law, in his 50's, is developmentally disabled with a condition called autism.

Autism is a spectrum disorder - some individuals can live lives with less help than others.  Many never live up to their full potential.

For almost a year, my spouse, his oldest brother, has been trying to gain guardianship of his brother.   My in laws never did much to plan for the future of "B".

 It's sad but true. But, considering the times my brother in law was born (the 1950's) not unexpected.

For his entire life, "B" has lived with his mother in New York State.  My father in law passed away over 15 years ago. Since then, it's been just the two of them in a house that once was the home to an entire family.  "B"'s siblings grew up and left.  B grew up and is still there.  He has lived in the same house for almost his entire life.  He has his own room, and his own bathroom.

People with autism do not cope well with change.

Some major changes are coming to "B"'s life.  .We know he is aware of that on some level, but his thoughts are unknown to us.  Autism makes it so difficult for him to communicate with us. We suspect he has a rich inner life, but it will be forever locked away from those of us who love him.

My mother in law, like all of us, is mortal. One day she will no longer be with us.  We had a scare late last year when she was diagnosed with cancer, but she is currently in remission.

But, it's just a matter of time before she may not be able to live independently.  She's fallen several times in recent years, and fell again just before Mother's Day.  Her cancer treatment sapped a lot of her energy.   Thankfully, her mind is intact.  We live some 150 miles from her, which makes us long distance caregivers.  We are part of a large club of baby boomers, but our responsibilities are a little different.  How many of them have sibs or sib-in-laws with physical, mental or developmental disabilities is unknown to us.  That statistic must be out there somewhere.

If my mother in law dies before my spouse gains guardianship, the state of New York will take control of his future, and he will have no choice in the matter.  We don't want that to happen.

Advocating for "B" and trying to help plan his future (something that is difficult for "B" to do on his own) is part of the package of our marriage.    And part of sharing our lives has been "B" entering my life.  I've known him for over 40 years.

This month, I am participating in the 2014 FLX/WordCount Blogathon.  This is my fourth Blogathon, and some of you may have noticed that this isn't my normal Civil War Sunday post.  Indeed, I've decided to devote part of June to blogging more about my brother in law and the impact he has had on my life.  I'll blog more about that decision later this week.  I do not intend to turn this into an "autism" blog, but I do want to share more of this portion of my life with you.

I will still have my Spring Things feature on Wednesday - look forward to showing you some great flower photos taken in my home area of upstate New York.  I'll probably also continue my Sustainable Saturday feature. I hope you'll join me as I temporarily change the focus of my blog.

Please, join me as I begin my 41st year of marriage, and as I continue my journey through autism.

Has autism entered your life in some way?

Thoughts on Blogging a Book Part 2 anda Blogathon Announcement

Back in January, I wrote a post called "Thoughts on Blogging a Book Part 1". 

(Thank you, those who commented and sent encouraging advice.  I didn't comment back, but it did mean a lot to me.)

Those who know me well will not be surprised that it took me nearly five months to post my "part 2". During that time, there was the tail end of my elderly mother in law's cancer treatment. A wisdom tooth extraction that was complicated (I only got discharged by the oral surgeon on Monday).  A couple of trips.  More care giving stuff (medical bills, my mother in law falling again, and more).  My back problem flaring up (and I'm not done with that yet, either.)

But now, in the next month, my care giving journey with someone with autism may be kicking into higher gear.

There are millions of children with autism in this country.  They are growing up. The first children of the "autism epidemic" in the United States are adults.  More become adults every day.  One day, their parents will be old.  What then?

I've blogged about autism on this blog, and maybe I haven't done it enough.  It is a part of my life that I should be sharing with my readers more.

I have a brother in law (in his 50's) who has autism.  I sometimes feel like a trailblazer - there is a lot of information out there for those who have young children with autism, or even teens, or young adult children.  But siblings in their 50's?

Not so much.

That's where I come in (maybe).

By blogging, I can give the parents and the siblings of these people a glimpse into what happens next.  I can give them a glimpse into my struggles - what my mother in law, and I, were able to accomplish with the help of others and what we failed at. I hope I can help others avoid the mistakes we made.

I've even thought about writing a book about this journey.  Not to be famous, not to have my book made into a movie.  Rather, I want to share what I've learned.  I don't know if I will ever have time, especially now, as my care giving efforts are increasing.  Time passes and my mother in law gets older every day. As do all of us.

Sometime in June, my spouse's guardianship application to become his brother's guardian will be heard in court.  During that time I will be spending even more time with both an aging my mother in law and the brother in law with autism.

Blogging, and looking into turning some of the posts into a book one day, could be a good first step to consolidate some of my thoughts.

I was hoping to use a 2014 WordCount Blogathon to kickstart this book.  The very first WordCount Blogathon I participated in (2011) made my blog what it is today - through it I found the Ultimate Blog Challenge and the rest is history.  I've also been blogging daily since late April of 2011 and I need a different challenge than just blogging daily.

So, my decision is made.  I am going to test the waters and devote a lot (not all) of my June blog to autism.  Maybe not to a book, but to something that may become a book.  This year, the Blogathon is a bit different, and seems to be concentrating on business bloggers, but I am still going to participate.

Right now I plan to keep my Spring Things (which will turn into a "Summer Something" when summer begins in June) but Sustainable Saturday and Civil War Sunday may not be regular features for June. We'll just have to see.

Please don't miss my flower pictures too much. (I can always insert some into the posts "just because".)  And, please, please don't leave me.  Don't let the word "autism" scare you, or think my June blog will bore you enough to click on that mouse or touchpad.

Even if you don't think autism will ever impact your life - it probably will.  One day.  And that one day may be sooner than you think, if you are having children, if you are having grandchildren, if you are an aunt or uncle.  Or if you work with children in any capacity.  Or if you have next door neighbors.  Or if you are living and breathing. (The blog will not debate the causes of the autism epidemic or even if there is one.  I'm focusing on our family situation.)


I value you, my readers, so much, even if I don't say it enough. (I don't).  I am going to ask that you take this journey with me.

See you at the 2014 Blogathon!

Word!

Today is "Word Cloud" day and the final day of the Word Count 2013 Blogathon.  Later today, I will post my Civil War Sunday post.

To create a Wordle "word cloud" go to the Wordle website and enter the URL of your blog's main page. You can choose different fonts, sizes, colors and even layouts. Then, in order to save it, you must do a screen shot and save it in Paint (if you are using a PC, which I am) and edit out your computer's  taskbar and whatever else doesn't belong. And voilà! (I can't get rid of some of the spaces, though so it saved a bit strange. If I make it bigger, the image is too big for the screen.

 Mine shows what's been on my mind: Farmers Markets.  Am I surprised?

My wrap up of the 2013 WordCount Blogathon will come later this week.  Tomorrow I start the Ultimate Blog Challenge and Camp NaNoWriMo. In the meantime: celebration!  I have survived my third Blogathon!

Do you enjoy making word clouds? Have you ever made one as a tool to analyze your blog?

Haiku Monday - The Dreaded Purple Trap

Today, bloggers participating in the 2013 WordCount Blogathon write haiku.  Two years ago, I wrote Civil War haiku. Last year's haiku day includes a definition of haiku.

Except for the three line, 5-7-5 syllable count, my "haiku" doesn't really qualify as true haiku.  But since when has that kept me from my once a year effort to make true haiku fans cringe?

Today's haiku are based on something I saw the other day on a walk through my neighborhood near Johnson City, New York.  My heart sank when I saw the dreaded purple box.  Indeed, there are two ash trees, side by side, just blocks from where I live.

The magnificent ash
Survived kids, floods and squirrels,
Standing patient guard.

The ash borer came.
Will the purple trap find one?
What will happen now?

The magnificent ash.  900 million ash trees in New York State are endangered.  The emerald ash borer has arrived.

The last thing I wanted to do for Haiku Monday was write one about the emerald ash borer, which now is in 19 states in the United States, and threatens various types of ash trees, including the one that baseball bats are made from.  The emerald ash borer is not the first invasive species (or fungus) that comes from overseas to endanger a beloved tree.  And it will not be the last.

Just because the purple box traps that are put into trees (with a botanical lure) have appeared in my neighborhood doesn't mean the ash borer has. (These beetles are also attracted by blue and purple colors.)  But it's not a good feeling, based on the past history of trees in the United States.

There was the American chestnut, brought low by a fungus.

There was the American Elm, many dead from a pathogen carried by the elm bark beetle.  So many Elm Streets in our nation, so few elms left.

And now, we battle for our friends, the ash trees.  Not just us here in the United States battle. Canadians battle.  Meanwhile, in Europe, Norwegians and others battle an ash fungus.

It isn't a good time in which to be an ash tree.

Don't move firewood, we are told.  Slow down the spread.  Give scientists a chance to find a natural answer to this beetle.

Are beloved trees in your neighborhood or country endangered by a foreign foe?

Video Killed the Blogathon Star (Blogathon Video Day)

In the 2013 WordCount Blogathon, we have several theme days. 

I read "Theme Day #2 is Monday, June 17, the day everyone in the event is challenged to create a video post."  My first impulse was:  Run! This, of course, meant that I needed to at least try.  Fortunately, at age 60, I am mostly past embarrassment.

We don't have to participate in any theme day but this is something that intrigued me.  I am not a video maker, except, accidentally when I accidentally turn iPhone photos into videos because the two controls are so close to each other.

But many of my fellow bloggers do video posts.  And, Blogger does make it easy if you have videos up on YouTube.


So here is my video debut, as I show off some of my front yard.   You'll hear my thick Bronx accent for the first time.

I finally got this up on YouTube after about 5 takes (two in light rain) and a long struggle. Let's put it this way: even Steven Spielberg had a first time.  (My deep gratitude to my spouse, who put up with me running in and out the front door.)

As they say "It was a learning experience".  Later this week, I'll tell you what I learned in the experience.


Have you done video work? What was your "first time" like?

Guest Post - Confederate and Union Graves Mingle at Fort Smith National Cemetery

Hello readers! I am guest posting for Alana's blog today while she guest posts on my Travel Browsing blog. I live in the Fort Smith area of Arkansas and normally write about fun travel sites and activities in the state, as well as across the world. Be sure to check out Alana's post today on the carousels ofBroome County.

For my guest post, I'd like to share a little about the National Cemetery of Fort Smith . First created back in 1817, the site is the final resting spot for many local historical figures, including those who fought in most of the country's wars. But the biggest impact comes from the rows upon rows of tombstones of soldiers who died during the Civil War.

Fort Smith National Cemetery

The site was first used when the frontier fort was established on Christmas Day 1817 by General William Bradford. When a new fort was constructed in 1838, the post cemetery was expanded.

Although the fort was abandoned at the beginning of the Civil War, it was soon occupied by a Confederate garrison. During their time there, nearly 400 soldiers were killed and buried. Union forces retook the fort in September 1863 and in 1867, the cemetery became an official National Cemetery.

At that time, remains from several nearby battlefield cemeteries were taken and re-interred in Fort Smith.

Notable Civil War skirmishes near the area included the Battle of Pea Ridge, which was fought March 6-8, 1862. Although the Confederate army outnumbered the Union soldiers during the battle, the Union managed to hold off the attack and drive the Confederate force off the field, eventually leading to control of Missouri and northern Arkansas by the Union. The Battle of Prairie Grove was a hard fought stalemate in December of the same year. Two Confederate Brigadier Generals who died in these battles were laid to rest in the Fort Smith cemetery.

There are currently more than 13,000 internments at the cemetery, which encompasses over 32 acres. These include 928 union unknown soldiers and 475 confederate unknowns. There are also 5 mass graves for those who did not have full sets of remains (probably due to cannonball explosions).

Interestingly, the graves aren't separated into areas for the union or for the confederate soldiers. But it's easy to pick out which side the deceased fought on. All the union tombstones are rounded/squared on top, whereas the confederate ones come to a point.

A long-told rumor explains this difference, although it has never been officially acknowledged as truth. It states that when the cemetery earned its "National" designation, it was decided that the wooden tombstones that had been used would need to be replaced by 6 x 6 granite squares.

But because the Army, and therefore the union, would be in control of the cemetery, those who had fought on the confederate side were worried that headstones for their fallen brethren might be used to rest upon by the soldiers in charge of the site's upkeep. So their tombstones were given a pointy top to keep people from sitting on them!

Confederate headstone on the left, Union on the right)

"Some cemeteries segregate the two types of soldiers but ours are mingled in together. This wasn't specifically a battlefield-type cemetery, so people were buried as soon as remains were recovered and in no particular order," said cemetery director Craig Lachance, during an interview we conducted in his office that looks out onto the grounds.

"As for that story as to why the confederate headstones are pointy, that is strictly a legend. Whether it's true or not, we don't actually know," he laughed.

Visitors to the large cemetery can grab a free guide to a walking tour of the area, complete with interesting factoids about some of the "residents" there, including the founder of Fort Smith, Major William Bradford, and of Cromwell Swift, who entered the army as a drummer when he was only 12-years-old and who later became a union soldier.

Also, the Union veteran Calvin Whitson is buried there. During the war, he received several wounds including the loss of one eye. Because of his "crusty character," ever-present eye patch, and later work as a U.S. Deputy Marshal, he is thought to be the basis for the "Rooster Cogburn" character in the original True Grit book.

Non-Civil War notables at the Cemetery include Fort Smith native Brigadier General William O. Darby (who led "Darby's Rangers" during World War II) and the area's infamous hanging judge, Isaac C. Parker.

Grave of William Darby

"You walk on hallowed ground. Honor those who have come to reside here in perpetual rest and the country for which so many gave their last full measure of devotion." - Judge Jim Spears during a re-dedication ceremony on April 2, 1996.

Biography: Deborah has lived in scenic Arkansas for the past 3 years, after spending 7 years in the tourist capitol of the world - Orlando, Florida. In addition to writing about all things travel related for publications such as Orlando Attractions Magazine and Southern Hospitality, she is also a medical journalist for Medscape Medical News.

Sustainable Saturday - Rethinking Tornado Survival

Welcome to my blog and the 2013 WordCount Blogathon.  If you are new to my blog, I'll quickly bring you up to speed.

This is my third WordCount Blogathon.  I enjoy writing on a variety of topics, and my blog's title reflects that.  Because I blog daily as an exercise in writing,  I organize my week by several weekly features.  You'll find a schedule at the end of this post.


As I wrote this post, I was watching live TV coverage of a tornado near Oklahoma City, Oklahoma.  The meteorologists on site covering the storm were caught in the tornado, tried to escape and and their car was tossed about 200 yards.  Everyone in the vehicle is OK - a bit bloodied, some broken bones but OK.   But five other motorists died.

With climate change, many places that felt themselves safe from tornadoes no longer are (such as upstate New York, where I live now), but tornadoes have been a fact of life in Oklahoma for a long, long, time.

Tornadoes are unpredictable.  You don't have much time to get away from one.  Modern technology has allowed meteorologists to predict where there is a high possibility of one forming, but if you are on the ground, you usually don't see one coming.  And, tornadoes can strike at night.


Sustainability includes living in some type of harmony with nature.  We can't stop tornadoes, so how can we survive these superstorms?

There is one way, and only one way, to survive a tornado, especially the F4 and F5 storms, the most deadly of tornadoes. 

You must get underground to survive.   You can have an underground tornado shelter but even they have issues.  In a recent Oklahoma tornado, the door ripped off of one and the people inside were lucky to survive.  You'd also be surprised to learn how many homes in Texas,  Arkansas and Kansas do not have basements.  I did not have a basement when I lived in any of those states.  And what about schools?  The many people who live in mobile home parks?  Shopping malls? 


When I lived in Kansas back in the late 1970's, I wondered "why aren't we building underground houses?"  I investigated the technology and was not satisfied by what I found.

When I moved to Arkansas, my spouse, with some help from me, built the structure we lived in.  But it wasn't truly green, and it wasn't underground housing.  Because of the nearly 10 years I lived in "Tornado Alley", I watch the weather war zone that Oklahoma has been in the past two weeks with special interest.  We must do better in providing safe shelter for residents of those states.

Today, as one example, it is possible to build tornado-resistant housing that is also green.

So, why don't we build this housing? There are a number of reasons, based on my experiences of the past. Contractors would have to relearn how to build houses.  Banks may not want to take a risk on a house that might not sell.  Homeowner's insurance companies might not want to write them, with little data to guide them on rates to charge.

When they think of underground housing, especially, people think "dark, damp and tomb-like".  If done right though, none of these are true.

Shelters, meantime, are expensive, and won't get built, I fear, without the force of law.

But, if we are to live in harmony with our changing weather, we may have no choice but to change the very way we build structures.  This applies whether you live on the coast or in a tornado prone area. 

Have you had experience with severe weather or earthquakes?  I did survive being near a small (F0) tornado and may blog about it later this month.

And now, if you liked what you read today, here's my normal schedule:

Saturdays I blog about "sustainable" living - farmers markets, community gardens, local food, local "green" businesses, and even "green" technology.
Sundays I blog about the United States Civil War. Why? Because it fascinates me.
Wednesdays is a seasonal feature, currently "Spring Things": anything to do with the season
The 15th of each month, I participate in Garden Bloggers Bloom Day, with pictures of whatever is blooming in my garden or in my house.

The rest of the week it's "potluck", sometimes accompanied by my flower or nature photos. 

Again, welcome!

WordCount Blogathon Housekeeping - I Go Green!

 Where did all the rain go?

That's what you may be saying after viewing my blog this morning.  I've done a bit of long-overdue freshening up of my blog, in preparation for the 2013 WordCount Blogathon, which starts tomorrow.

It's not too late to register but you must act today.  There are over 180 of us participating. Here's the experience of one alumnus. (You can still participate if you don't register today but you are not eligible for any of the prizes.)

But back to my housekeeping.  I've had the "rain on the window" template (symbolizing the terrible summer of 2011, with record rainfall, two tropical storms and one massive flood) for too long. Out with the rain and in with the green!

As so much of my blogging involves gardening/flower photography, I decided to go with Blogger's Dandelion template (it's not called that, but that is what it is.)


Let me know what you think.

WordCount Blogathon 2013

I'm going to participate in the WordCount Blogathon 2013 and you should, too.

It's as simple as that. 

I hope you will join me and several hundred other bloggers.  You will never regret it.

Three years ago this past April 30, a woman who has been in the life of one of my cousins for many years sent me an email encouraging me to join a blogging challenge called the WordCount Blogathon. She's a published writer and she had signed up.  At that time, I had been blogging for a little over two years, posted sporadically, and had no idea what I wanted to do with my blog.

I knew I wanted to write.  I've written all of my life - well, ever since I learned to read and write.  As a child, I wrote (bad) comics and (bad) stories. I was on my junior high school's yearbook staff.  I stopped creative type writing as an adult, but always wrote as part of my jobs-even if it was only letters to customers or business clients of my employer. 

Blogging was a natural for me because it ties in with photography, another interest I had never -um, developed.

I liked blogging but I didn't know where to go with it.

On April 30, hours before the sign up deadline for the May annual challenge, I took a leap of faith and signed up for the WordCount Blogathon challenge.  The challenge sounds simple but is possibly the hardest thing you will ever do in blogging - post each and every day, no exceptions, no make up days, no excuses, for 31 days straight.

There were possible prizes if you made it through the 31 days, and I admit that was part of the reason why I completed it.  It was hard.  As we say in the Binghamton area of upstate New York, it was WICKED hard.  But then, several months later, I realized I had kept posting every day, and decided I would keep posting daily-for my personal satisfaction.  As of today, I haven't stopped the daily blogging.

So, what about the WordCount Blogathon?  I did it again in 2012, and I am doing it again this year.  Last year, I even won a prize! (and then, I joined another blogging challenge and won prizes - perhaps I should have purchased lottery tickets, too, because I'm one of those people who never win anything.)  Not anything big. But, if I ever seriously decide to take up non-blog writing again, my prizes will be valuable.

In 2013 the Blogathon moved to June but the challenge is the same - blog every day for a month.

If you join this challenge, what can you expect?
-You will be able to blog what you want.  There will be several theme days, but they are strictly optional.  If it is like past years, there will be a Haiku day. There will also be an opportunity to find a kindred spirit in the Blogathon, and guest post on each others' blogs.  Unlike some blog challenges, there are no direct prompts.  But you won't be left without support.  No, far from it.
-You will be stretched to your creative limit
-You will have the chance to discuss blogging with fellow bloggers, and learn from them.
-You will be participating in a professionally run challenge - Michelle Rafter, the founder, is a professional journalist and she knows what she is doing.
-You will have fun.  Yes, really!
-You will meet new people.
-You will find fame and fortune.

No, the fame and fortune part may not happen.  Not right away, anyway.  That will have to depend on you.

Me? It's time to refresh my blog, and I am going to use the 2013 Blogathon to make some needed changes.  What changes? I don't know yet, but by the end of the Blogathon, I will know.

Don't be afraid.
Just Do It.

What Am I, Chopped Liver?

I've mentioned before (but not enough) that I have a brother in law, in his 50's, with a developmental disability called autism.

This has impacted his life, the life of his parents (his mother, still alive, still cares for him in her 80's), the lives of his siblings, and the spouses of his siblings.  We continue to struggle with various issues, as his mother ages, and we found ourselves (my spouse and I) long distance caretakers of two.

I've wanted to tell his story (and ours), both past, present and future, and perhaps use my blog to network with people in similar situations.  So many autism blogs are written by parents of young children or even young adults, which is fine (more than fine - those voices deserve to be heard) but I don't know how many other are in my situation.  And, it is a complex situation. Those families with children, I hope, will have it better when their children grow up.

There's at least one support group for adult siblings of those with developmental disabilities, but, as far as I know, nothing for their spouses.  As we would say in my native New York City "what am I, chopped liver?"

So, onward to the 2013 WordCount Blogathon.  This blogathon requires, of its participants, 30 straight days of posting.  No days off.  No opportunities to catch up. There are some nice prizes the participants compete for.  There's a haiku day, a guest post day, and several other (all voluntary) theme days.

The 2011 WordCount Blogathon was the impetus for the growth of my blog.  The 2012 WordCount Blogathon got me onto Twitter.  I highly recommend you join in the fun and register for the 2013 WordCount Blogathon.

But I haven't signed up yet, and here's why.

I don't know if I want to start a new blog. Can I write enough material for 30 days?  Can I find myself blogging daily on two different blogs?  I work full time, and this would be a lot of stress.  (Even trying to figure out if I want to have blog #2 on a different platform, and if I want to have a second Twitter account, if I want to set up a new Facebook fan page - all stress.)

On the other hand, it would challenge me.  Since I've been blogging for over two years straight, there really isn't no challenge in just blogging daily.  There has to be more for me to continue my growth, and doing two blogs would be that challenge.

So, I will reach out to my readers.   What would give me the most benefit for the least amount of extra work?  Should I try the second blog and compete only with it? Should I try to compete with both blogs? Or should I be safe and just register this blog, the blog I've always competed with, and do the second blog on the side (perhaps linking my first blog to it in some way during the competition.)

I don't want to be chopped liver.  I don't want others in my shoes to be chopped liver.  I want our voices to be heard.

A Writing Journey - The Baby Years

Welcome, participants in the Author Blog Challenge and other readers, to my blog.

28 days to discover if I want to become an author, and learn how.

I normally have a "Sustainable Saturday" feature.  If you are looking for that feature, I published a post yesterday on a special store in Brooklyn (New York City).

Because of the Author Blog Challenge, which is taking place for 28 days in June, I will keep up my topic schedule days as much as possible,and still follow as many of the prompts of this challenge as possible.  I still want to publish my flower and wildflower photos too.  A pretty tall order!

 I have blogged for over three years now, daily for the past 13 plus months. What's next? I hope this challenge will help me answer this question.

For today, we are asked:  Describe your earliest memory of writing.  How did your writing habit/process/career develop?

My very earliest memory?  How about second grade?  No, I won't count the many hours I spent with plastic molded toy soldiers (World War II, Civil War, Cowboys and Indians), making up "movies" for them.  I never wrote the plots down.  I also remember making "comic" strips that passed through a paper TV screen. I also won't count the many hours I spent daydreaming that I worked at the Daily Planet alongside my heroine, Lois Lane.  I never did get into journalism.

No, I think it was when I was 10 or 11.  I loved superhero comics (Superman, Batman, Spider-Man, and a host of other).  I decided to make up my own superhero comics.  The hero I created was "Cold Man",  He could freeze anything to near absolute zero.  I couldn't draw worth a whit, so I enlisted the help of a friend with artistic talent. She, in turn, suggested my next venture and my first actual manuscript:  The Birdmen of Zuma.  The Birdmen of Zuma were half man, half canary, and lived hidden away in the Canary Islands.  An American pilot crash landed near their city.

It went downhill from there.  Many adventures, just coincidentally, resembled similar adventures of  my beloved John Carter of Barsoom.  But it was a start.

My serious writing started (after I stopped writing all together in my early 20's) in April of 2009.  I was in my late 50's.  I started a blog inspired by an "eyewitness" (sort of) email I wrote the day of a mass murder in Binghamton, New York.

My writing habit developed by participating first in the 2011 WordCount Blogathon (31 daily posts, no skipping a day permitted), and then several rounds of the Ultimate Blog Challenge.  And then, I completed the 2012 WordCount blogathon.


I have the habit of daily writing, thanks to over 13 straight months of daily blogging.

I don't use a traditional writing process in the sense that I have never taken a writing course.  I do "prewrite" but not formally.  No one taught me these steps - I developed a rhythm on my own in my first months of blogging.  I've refined it over the years.   I do draft, revise, proofread and publish, usually taking at least 30 minutes with each post.  I sometimes prewrite, but if I research it is usually during the drafting phase.  I usually write in the early evening but that is more because of my Monday to Friday work schedule. (I have a 40 plus hour a week corporate job). Some of my posts seem to spring, fully formed, from my mind.  Most don't.

I don't have a writing career.  Yet. That's why I'm here.

I have no idea what to expect from this challenge.  What about you?

Endings and Beginnings

This is my final post of the 2012 Wordcount Blogathon.  I hope I am a better blogger for it.  Last year's Blogathon launched me, I truly believe, as a writer.  My next challenge, the Author Blog Challenge starting on June 2, may either launch me as an author in training (as far as "will I ever be a published author?") or convince me that blogging is as far as I should go.

So, a look back on the 31 days of the Blogathon.

What's New and What Have I Learned?

I now have a Facebook page for my blog, Ramblin with AM.  If you enjoy my blog, and are on Facebook, swing by and "like" me.  Wouldn't have taken that step without the Blogathon.

I swapped posts with two other bloggers, and hope to be able to do it again with both bloggers later this year.

I got an iPhone right before the Blogathon. What a learning experience.  One thing I did, as a result of using my phone to read blogs, and participating in the Blogathon, is that I decided to experiment with not using Captcha on comments.  I've done enough commenting now to know how frustrating certain of the things we bloggers do to prevent spam can actually prevent readership, not just spam.

Thanks to a guest blogger I swapped posts with, I found out about photo compression - and am now using compression software.  Thanks to a comment by another Blogathoner, I am going to look into watermarking my photos.

My blog was mentioned on  an Internet radio broadcast.

How have I done?

My most popular post was "Pinterest, Spam and a Dash of Porn", which leads me to believe that
a.  If you write anything about Pinterest, readers are going to come.
b.  If you mention porn.....well, never mind.

Perhaps I should rename my blog "Ramblin' on Pinterest"?

My Civil War posts and some of my flower photography posts got good traffic, too.

But, interestingly, the most referrals to my site are coming from (I googled this) a Russian attack site.  I never click on any links in my traffic stats, and it is a bit painful to realize that referral spam is still quite alive and well.

It's hard for me to know my true traffic because I'm only using Blogger's built in tools.  So that brings up the age old question:  should I leave Blogger?

Have I Been Able to Read Many Blog Posts and Find New Blogs I Like?

Not as much as I would have liked.  I lost nearly a week to an infection and generally not feeling well.  And, because of a lot of participants, the Blogathon, in all honesty, was like (another cliche) drinking from a fire hose.  There was way too much to absorb.  But I did find a few new blogs I will be visiting after the Blogathon ends.

What do I Need to Do Now?

Believe in myself more.   Build my confidence to take the next step, whatever that turns out to be.

The common wisdom says bloggers should focus on one subject.  But that isn't me. I get bored concentrating on one thing. I think my weekly features do help me focus.  There are Civil War Sundays, Wednesday Spring Things (which will need to be renamed in three weeks) and Sustainable Saturdays, plus  Garden Bloggers Bloom Day on the 15th of each month.

As for what I will be doing the next month in an Author Blog Challenge-I truly have no idea.

And so..four questions for you, my reader, as I move forward:

If you are from the Blogathon, do you feel it was a success for you?  Do you think you will be carry forward the momentum?

For any reader,  is there anything you would like to see more of on my blog?  Or less?

And now, to dream another 11 months, to the next Blogathon.

If I Knew Then What I Know Now

So many of us have occasional regrets.  If we had done things a little differently - if we knew then what we know now - blogging is no exception.

The 2012 WordCount Blogathon, which I am proudly participating in, had a theme day yesterday:  if we bloggers knew, when we started blogging, what we know today, what would we do differently?

Oh gee, time to be a cautionary lesson to others.  I must admit, though,  it was interesting to read what my fellow Blogathoners had to say.  Turns out a lot of us were thinking along similar lines.

Here's my list, only a day late (I didn't want to disturb my Wednesday theme day):
1.  Different platform (maybe).  Blogger suited my needs and it isn't bad - but I look at Wordpress blogs sometimes with a little envy.  I'm still on the fence - I think moving now would be too much of an undertaking. And, free is good.   But still....

2) Different blog name.  "Ramblin' with AM" does describe my rambling style, not quite focused on anything,  But more and more, my inner voice is telling me that it is time to focus.  Right now, I have three theme days - Wednesdays, Saturdays, and Sundays.  I want people to be able to come to my blog and have an idea of what they will find. I found out that I really did care that people read, learned from, and enjoyed my blog.

3) Join a challenge right away.  The Blogathon taught me more about blogging in one month of 2011 than I learned in the previous two years.

4 ) The Daily Posting Thing. I would have started out posting daily for, oh, 2 months and then tapered down to 3 or 4 times a week.  What I did do was post irregularly for two years.  Then I went on a 13 month binge of daily postings which is still in progress.  After the challenge I signed up for in June, I don't think I am going to maintain the daily blogging.  I need to stay fresh and practice my writing in other ways.

5) Fewer labels.  I have so many labels I'm surprised my blog hasn't collapsed under their weight.  I must do a massive cleanup, as soon as I clean my house.  In other words, don't hold your breath.

So....there you have it.  I've also learned to ask questions at the end of many of my posts, to start a conversation with my readers.  So here's my question for today:

What is the one piece of advice you would give to a blogger just starting out?

The Friendly American Adapts to Polska

Today I feature a guest post by:  Sheila Callahan at Help! I'm Blogging.  Sheila is a self described "Jersey Girl" currently based in Warsaw, Poland.  I will have a guest post on Sheila's blog today, also.

For today’s guest post I've been struggling to put together some witty and interesting facts about my life in Poland, but unfortunately I keep running into a brick wall. So I'll quit trying to be fascinating and just tell you a few things I've noticed about Polish superstitions and customs.

Back in America, I never thought twice about embracing someone while standing on the threshold of the house. When guests came and went, we always greeted people and said goodbyes at the doorway. Not done in Poland. Embracing anyone over the threshold is considered bad luck.

In Poland it's also bad luck to buy an even number of flowers for a bouquet, unless it's for a funeral.

As far as everyday customs, what I’ve noticed here is that Poles do not wave hello or goodbye like we Americans do. People tend to bow slightly when greeting friends. Oh, and if you're on the street, you do not smile and say hello to strangers, like you would often do in America.

This last reality has taken a lot of getting used to. I grew up saying hello to people, even those I didn't know, when I passed someone walking in my neighborhood, for example.

Here, it's simply not done. On the rare times that I forget myself and smile at someone or say hello to an elderly person, they just look at me and appear puzzled.

Have you encountered customs that took you completely by surprise?