Another Visit to A Famous Talk Line

Maybe this year, hopefully, things are somewhat back to normal.  

Thursday, in the United States, it is Thanksgiving.  There's no turkey shortage.  There's no cream cheese shortage.

This year, we gather with a small group of family,  Let's hope that, at the last minute, we don't have anyone having to back out due to sickness.  

It truly is a time of gratitude.

Also, it's time once again to tell you the story of the year I called the Butterball turkey number on a dare to get advise for cooking a 28 pound turkey.  This year, we only have a 24 pound turkey to cook.

That 28 pound turkey wasn't even for us.

First, the name of the talk line.  It's not the Butterball Hotline, which I thought it was until 2017.  It's Butterball's Turkey Talk-Line, and it has been giving turkey cooking advice to people in the United States since 1981.  

For years, one would have to call and talk to the kind folks at the Butterball Turkey Talk Line, but now one can text them, too.  The texting number is 844-877-3456.  The phone number is 1-800-BUTTERBALL.  So, if you are having last minute problems on Thursday (or whenever you are cooking), do give them a call or send a text.

Why would Americans need to talk or text turkey? Because on Thanksgiving, it is traditional to cook a turkey, and - well, there are so many ways to prepare turkeys.

I've wanted to call the Hot..I mean, the Turkey Talk-Line for years, but my spouse, the family cook, has never needed turkey advice. 

Comedian Stephen Colbert has made it a Thanksgiving tradition to call the Turkey Talk-Line with prank questions for years.  In recent years, those good folks actually let him loose on the Talk-Line in person. I am not sure he's doing it any more.  He reran one of his exploits last year.

By the way, don't take his advice.

Now, the story.

Back in 2017, someone I know was concerned because she had purchased a 28 pound (12.7 kg) frozen turkey for Thanksgiving (November 26 this year, in the United States) and had tried online research to figure out how long to cook it.  She had never cooked that big a turkey before.

Why don't we call Butterball? I asked.  "OK, but you start the conversation" was her response.  And so I dialed 1-800-BUTTERBALL.  The phone was answered quickly by a woman.

Upon hearing of the 28 pound turkey, the woman exclaimed, "oh, you will have such a beautiful turkey when it is cooked.  It will be golden brown; it will look like something in a Norman Rockwell painting!  It will look wonderful on your table."  Obviously, she sensed our hesitation.  But she was totally prepared with advice.

She took us through the process.  "You need to take the turkey now, today, and put it in your refrigerator.  It will take that long to safely defrost." Then she explained how to pat the turkey dry, take out the giblets (these turkeys are prepped and almost ready to go).  She gave us the oven temperature (325 degrees F), the fact that after a couple of hours we were to tent the turkey with aluminum foil, and the total approximate coking time (4 1/2 hours) for the unstuffed turkey.  And, she recommended we use a meat thermometer and what temperature the breast, or the leg, should be before you consider the bird "done".

She talked with us as if she had all the time in the world (maybe, a week away from Turkey Day, she did have a lot of time. But, on Turkey Day, her and her co workers will field about 10,000 phone calls). And again, she told us how beautiful that turkey was going to look on the table. After our questions were answered, she asked for only one thing - what was our zip code (postal code)?

We answered, and she exclaimed "Binghamton, New York.  Oh, I grew up in Scranton, Pennsylvania!" (that's about an hour south of us).  She closed by asking if we had any more questions (we didn't).

So ended our conversation with the Butterball Turkey Talk-Line.

It did make me wonder who works for the Talk-Line, and if they enjoy talking turkey all day long.
So, an article about their experiences is quite fascinating, too, especially, when you get to the part about the 89 year old man cooking his first turkey.  It sounds like such a fun place to work, if you are a people person.

Oh, and Stephen Colbert's exploit with the callers to the kind folks at Butterball?  Here it is, starting at about 44 seconds into the video. 

Too bad he didn't do it again this year but I am thankful for the memory.