Thursday, May 28, 2015

Facing Fear

Does your fear block your creativity?  This is a question being asked in the Write Tribe Festival of Words #4.  And, for once, I am going to admit my fear on the Internet, which is like admitting your fear in front of about 1 billion people.  Gulp.

For the longest time, I admit, fear has blocked my creativity.  I can not take a first step I've wanted to take for several years now. 

I am about as introverted as one can get (if I believe quizzes and online personality tests) but I tend to be a lot less introverted on my blog than I am in "real life".  I do fine with blogging, Facebook, and email.  But if you called me on the phone, I would hide under the table.

Public speaking?  Nope. (I've done it before small groups where I know everyone, but that's it.)  Meet someone I don't know?  Attend a gathering where I don't know anyone?  No. No. No.

But I'm not talking about phone fear or fear of groups.  I'm talking about writing fear, and the fear of taking action.

I've wanted to write a book for several years.  It isn't a memoir.  I don't quite know how to describe it.

What I have to say would anger some people, because I want to tell a story about a system in our great country, the United States, that is broken.  Seriously broken, as this country deals with an epidemic that is growing all the time.    This broken system is making thousands and thousands of people suffer.  Some have lost their homes trying to help their loved ones. 

Worse, such people without families who love them find themselves caught in a nightmare.  For some, there is little future.  And more of them are becoming adults every day.  When they become adults, many lose all the supports they had for the first years of their lives.

I have seen a couple of bloggers trying to tackle this topic.  They've received so many hateful comments that they have stopped.  Attracting trolls is something I do not need, and I don't have the personality to deal with it.

If you don't take risks, you are not truly alive.
Or so they say.

If people like me do not speak out, this terrible system will never be changed.  Perhaps it is the story I am meant to tell because I can use my experiences and my emotions to help others.

Do I dare take up this challenge?  Do I move past my fear?  Do I permit myself to grow?


  1. Alana, I hate the social system of labelling people as introverts, extroverts etc. I think it's okay to choose how you wish to be. Some people are just happier by themselves. Of course, if it's affecting a person and they wish they were different, then they need to face down their fear and reach out. I don't know what issue you are talking about fearing writing but I would say leave it alone till you are really fired up about it - the courage will come automatically then. I am saying this because it doesn't seem like it is the writing you fear but the blow back. And that's a different matter altogether

  2. I hear you, and I can totally see why you would struggle with speaking out. The internet is a wonderful place, but it can also be a terrible place when people hide behind their keyboards and dish out hateful comments. Only you can decide whether or not to move past your fear, but if you do, know that there is at least one person out here who would support you. :)

  3. Thank you for being so open. The important journey is who you become on the journey through the fear. My guess would be more of yourself. It's a freeing feeling to live in total comfort with yourself.

  4. Hi Alana,
    Loved your post girl! I would definately speak out and get out of your comfort zone :) Sometimes having a few haters is a good thing to keep us motivated to share what so many need to hear :) I personally have had a few lol

    Definately take a never know, unless you do, right?

  5. Alana, blogging can bring change. We need to face the issues. I try to do this in a positive way. Take a chance and blend the real with the hope. People care but they don't want to feel that all is hopeless. I know that is hard, believe me. I will support you and even help if I can. :)

  6. I thoroughly empathize for I share some of those same fears, and overcoming them is not easy but is so freeing. If you feel a strong motivation, a passion even, to write this book on a subject which you deem so important, I say move ahead with it. Do your research, make your contacts, and start your planning. When the time comes to publish, I think the courage will be there for you, and many of your faithful readers here on your blog will have your back.

  7. Haters gonna hate. If you do it on your blog, you can just delete those comments.

    But write the book. It takes time to write a book, anyway. You can justify it by saying that no one ever has to see it. Tell yourself that. Then write from the heart.

    Once the book is finished, then you can show it to some trusted people, and they'll urge you to get it out there. But let's not worry about that now. Right now, just sit down in front of the computer and write. Don't worry about reactions of others. That's so far off right now it doesn't even need to be thought of.

  8. The fear of being judged is big whether its is through our writings or our conversations. At the same time you have rightly said, speaking up can be a tool about bringing change.

  9. I'm sure it is going to be tough to face this fear but once you do, the hateful comments won't hold you back. It is always the fear of facing that holds us back. I hope that the internet will treat you with kind when youove forward with your cause, Alana. All the best. :)

  10. It sounds like the book you're contemplating is going to look at some hard truths, and hard truths always tend to stir things up. But, the thing is, writing a book takes a long time. if you start writing now, you probably have a good year to two years minimum before you have to worry about the trolls--plenty of time to work on kicking fear to the curb! Even if, in the end, you decide not to publish, you'll have the satisfaction of writing a book about something that matters deeply to you.

  11. Hey Alana, You're not alone in this fear. There're are a lot of people going through this. But you made the courageous first step, you identified you have such a fear. And you have to come forward and face it, and you can. One thing I suggest is read about people who have gone through similar fears and how they have succeeded in overcoming their fears. You can write stories, and create characters to tell what you want to tell. Nobody can do anything in that. They cannot prove you are telling their stories. I've written a few things on my post, you may please read that too.

  12. Alana, the best thing to do is speaking aloud with yourself, reading aloud and hold conversations with your friends and colleagues. Feel free, don't let people judge you.

    Tina from The Sunny Side of Life

  13. When you write, your thoughts become clear. You can add and take away or change the positions of some of your points. You should have no fear of the writing. But publishing your thoughts on a blog is another thing. Why not write a book about it? That way, you don't attract barbs.
    Today, I wrote about the shocking treatment my husband has received from the UK National Health system, and how they are letting down older citizens. I hadn't even considered if my blog post would attract nasty comments. All of mine are supportive. Well, I'll see. But I believe we should speak up about social injustice.
    Hold your hear up so high you can't feel your fear. Just write.


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