The Very Different Thanksgiving?

For the first time in my life, Thanksgiving is a holiday to dread.

In our country Thanksgiving takes place the fourth Thursday of November.  By then, where we live, the weather might well include sub freezing temperatures, frigid winds, and snow.

It wasn't like that in my teen years.  I got to visit my aunt, uncle and cousins in Brooklyn, almost a two hour ride consisting of a bus, a subway and then another bus (or a long walk) to get to their house.  My Aunt always cooked the same meal - turkey, stuffing, cranberry sauce (from a can), sweet potatoes with marshmallow topping, and roasted chestnuts after.  My Uncle's two brothers would also come and always bring a box of chocolates.

My Dad would go home, as he always had to work the next day, and I would stay overnight with my two cousins in their small apartment.  The next morning, we would look for the box of chocolates (which were always sort of hidden) and dig in.

But in 2020....this may be Thanksgiving dinner for a lot of us.  Curbside pickup for...one.  Or two.

And people like me are the lucky ones because we can afford food.  There are millions who will be depending on food banks or community Thanksgiving dinners (reimagined due to COVID) for their Thanksgiving due to job loss and/or other factors.

How are Americans approaching Thanksgiving?

1.  Deciding to not have any family over - too risky.I'll call it a "small Thanksgiving". Celebrate with those who live with you only.   I'm in that camp.  We never had a large Thanksgiving and last year it was only my spouse, my grown son, and my spouse's developmentally disabled younger brother.  Fast forward to 2020 - my autistic brother in law survived COVID-19 after a three week hospitalization in April and more time in a skilled nursing facility formed by the agency that provides housing for him.  For various reasons, we decided we just couldn't do it safely.

My autistic brother in law wanted to be with us.  But, in another conversation, he said "I don't want to get sick again."

So it will be just my spouse and me this year.  Thankful that we have each other, my spouse will roast a turkey.  I've already made the cranberry sauce.  We'll make various phone calls and perhaps a FaceTime.

Complicating things are those families whose college attending children are returning home.  Please insist they get tested if their college isn't testing. They should quarantine when they get to your home if at all possible, say public health officials.   Follow the safety rules outlined by health officials.

2.  Trying to figure out some way to do it safely and still gather.  Traveling by car, if possible.  Quarantining when they arrive. Limiting number of family members (in states that will be allowing these gatherings by the time Thanksgiving comes).  Trying to use hand sanitizer, paper plates, spaced out tables one family a table, masks if not actually eating, eating outdoors if the weather allows (or if they have patio heaters.)  Some families are going to ask that everyone gets tested beforehand. 

3.  Denying that COVID exists.  Thanksgiving as usual.  Flying or driving to see family,  gather around the table, and what happens, happens because "it's a hoax" or "99.9% of people who get it survive".  Let's hope they are all still around at Christmas.  And let's hope they don't kill the absolutely exhausted health care workers who will be charged with taking care of them when they do get sick.

It's going to be a lonely Thanksgiving for a lot of people.  My cousins in the New York City area always used to eat out each year in the same restaurant.  This year they are going to visit by Zoom - "maybe". 

I think of my late mother in law's next door neighbor.  We've been friends for 50 years, so hard to believe.  She grew up a couple of miles, and over 20 years, from where I grew up.  She's 89 years old.

In her last text she said "I'm doing well but am so down.  Don't go anywhere...everyone is more or less in lockdown."

And after Thanksgiving, what happens in a week or two afterwards?  I think that's what we dread more than anything. I've already seen charts of what happened in Canada after their October Thanksgiving.

So...please.

Please do the right thing.

Stay safe. Have that different, small Thanksgiving.  Our country's health care workers will thank you.