Thursday, July 4, 2024

A Friendship Fourth of July

It's been a while since I've repeated this post but I am moved to today, with some new material and new (to my blog, I think) photos from the trip I blogged about.

In July of 2013, we were commemorating the 150th anniversary of the Battle of Gettysburg, which took place July 1, 2 and 3, 1863.  This battle, fought near Gettysburg, Pennsylvania, is said to have been the defining moment of who would win the United States Civil War.

I wrote many posts during the 150th anniversary of the war (1861-1865) including this one on July 3, 2013. 

I had wanted so much to be able to visit Gettysburg that week.   There was supposed to be a large gathering to commemorate that watershed battle, but, unfortunately, many people had the same idea and, unlike me, they didn't try to make last minute plans.

Spouse and I had already taken time off from work.

I was not happy, but then fate intervened.

First, I need to explain that many years ago, both this cousin (let's call her "C") and my childhood best friend (BF) were house hunting in Brooklyn, a borough of New York City.  C has spent almost her entire life in Brooklyn.  BF grew up with me in the Bronx (another borough) but, as an adult, moved to an apartment in Brooklyn at the time she got married.  

Anyway, C and BF found themselves at the same open house.  

They hit it off.  They became friends, not knowing (at first) that they had something else in common.  Or, actually, someone else.  Me.

(Just as another fun fact, a good friend of BF's husband was the son of my next door neighbor growing up, proving that even New York City, with its eight million people, can be a small world at times.)

At some point, my cousin and childhood friend found out they had me in common, and when spouse and I came to Brooklyn, we always tried to visit both of them.

Fast forward to 2013.  About a year and a half before, BF was diagnosed with cancer.  As the summer of 2013 came close, she was doing well.

One late June day, C called to catch up on life.  In talking with her, she mentioned that, on July 4, BF had planned a BBQ.  Among other people, C was invited.  Too bad I couldn't be there, as I lived 150 miles away, and probably had other plans....or could I?

I contacted BF, and yes, we were welcome to come.  And to stay with her and her husband.

We came. We had a wonderful visit and 4th of July BBQ with BF, C, and other friends of BF.    We had a great time, that first few days of July we spent down there.    

My friend loved to garden in her small New York City plot.


I can't remember if this zucchini plant (picture taken July 4, 2013) was in my friend's yard, or in the yard of one of her neighbors.  

These were her tomatoes.  She also had rosemary and dill growing.
 
A fig tree in her neighbor's yard.

My friend's dill.

I can't believe eleven years have passed since that day.

This is not a story with a happy ending, I'm sorry to say.  That night, before the unofficial street fireworks began, my friend, her husband, my spouse, and I, walked to a store and had some ice cream.

Over the frozen treats, she matter of factly told me she had decided where she would be interred after she passed.  She knew her time was limited, and joked that the cemetery was near a shopping center, meaning that people would be sure to visit.

That kind of joke was so like her....

This visit was the last time I saw my BF "well".   She passed away in 2015.  May she forever rest in peace.

If I I had been able to find lodging down in Gettysburg, I never would been able to go to that wonderful BBQ, and we wouldn't have spent other quality time with her during that visit.

Maybe some things are meant to be.  

When I think of the Fourth of July, I think of her, each and every year.

May my readers in the United States have a happy and meaningful Independence Day.  

Cancer sucks.

A happier post tomorrow.

6 comments:

  1. Some things happen for a reason. I’m glad you were able to spend time with your BF and that you have such pleasant memories.

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  2. ...cancer sucks is an understatement.

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  3. This is a sad day for you, but it was so good that you were able to spend time with her.

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  4. There's a knitting pattern for a hat that says F*** Cancer (not redacted). Very true.

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  5. Treasure the memories of your friend. She lives on through them.

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  6. Such a bittersweet experience. Your friend sounds like a lovely person. I am sorry for your loss.

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