Wednesday, December 12, 2018


In 2015, I blogged about the fact that for the first time in many, many years, we would not be having Christmas with relatives in Yonkers, New York.  Earlier that year, due to health and other issues, we had to move my mother in law up here, and about 150 more miles (approximately 241 km) away from those relatives.  And, as my readers know, my mother in law passed away the day after Thanksgiving.

One of the relatives down there will be 107 years old early next year.  She lived with her son, who took care of her.

Yesterday, the son, who was in his early 70's, died suddenly.  We had last seen him at my mother in law's funeral.

Now, he's gone, too.

And at the funeral home, I spoke to one of my husband's cousins, who had cared for her recently deceased husband (dementia) for years, and wrecked her health in the process.

I know so many people who have lost loved ones in the last two or three weeks.  A co worker lost her father. An acquaintance of many years lost his elderly aunt (he helped take care of her), while trying to raise three young children as a single father.

The path of a caregiver is a hard one.  The caregiver doesn't take care of him or herself, sometimes with tragic results.

Recently, our office of aging reached out to me because I had been unable to attend a "focus group" on what caregivers in our community need.  I really need to answer that email.  But, instead of answering their questions directly, perhaps I should just describe what is happening around me.

It scares me, thinking about who else might not survive this winter.


  1. I'm so sorry for your losses and the hard road you, as a caregiver, have traveled. Please take care of yourself. Sending your family light and love.

  2. Husby pointed out recently that our generation is now in the 'batter's box'. One by one we see people we went to school with or cousins our age succumbing to the call home. It makes mortality a little more focused!

  3. My mom (70 years old) is in Europe for the last six months by my youngest brother and his family, and she has been telling us that it it bitterly cold. She will be coming back home ( to the Caribbean sunshine) next week, since we are getting worried that the harsh European winter may be taking a toll on her.

  4. It's hard. just so hard. Mom lived with us for 8 years before she passed away, 10 years ago this month. Lots of funny things happened, and she's largely the reason I started blogging. But not everything was funny.

  5. So true about caregiving. My brother, in his 50's, has a very sick wife with MS. The care is unrelenting, but somehow they both stay strong. Sometimes I don't know how they do it.

  6. So many are mourning from lost loved ones. So sorry to hear of your losses.

  7. Hugs. I hope it gets easier for you soon

  8. Yeah, it seems like there have been a lot of deaths around lately. And sudden ones. Take care of yourself. And make sure to tell your loved ones how you feel about them. Hopefully this spate will pass soon.


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