You may think it's too early to think about Christmas. After all, today is Election Day and I should be writing about elections and voting. Not "The Holidays".
You'd be wrong about Christmas not being here yet.
All over the grocery stores, Christmas candy quickly took over the Halloween seasonal aisles.
Our local large grocery store, I noticed today, has already installed its Christmas wreath over the front entrance wall.
Well, more so than ever, Christmas is not a happy time for our family.
In 1998, my father in law died in his sleep on Christmas night. In 2015, our family (inlaws) experienced holiday death in the family
again when my brother in law's mother in law passed away right after Thanksgiving.
An aunt's sister died on Thanksgiving Day (November
26).
In 2018, my mother in law died on Black Friday (the day after the American Thanksgiving). Two weeks later, one of my spouse's first cousins, someone he grew up with and knew all his life, died unexpectedly. Now those anniversaries draw near.
I so didn't want anything to do with Christmas last year that (with the help of an understanding cousin I will always be grateful to) spouse, son and I escaped to New York City (where the cousin lives) and did a bunch of non-Christmas things.
Even though I was sick for part of the visit, it has become a fond memory.
Now, it's time to remake holiday traditions.
Yes, now. In 2019, even as we are telling relatives we don't want to exchange gifts this year. Maybe it's just time to step back. So far, not that much blowback. Well, a little.
Thanksgiving, we will do with pleasure. I need to share a lot of gratitude. After all, many have it worse than my spouse and me. It's a major holiday for us. Black Friday? Well, we'll see.
Hanukkah, I will light the candles and visit Hanukkah House in Binghamton, New York (a seasonal museum), a tradition for myself and my spouse.
Christmas, we are hoping to have one of my spouse's cousins up here and also spend it with my autistic brother in law No travel this year to see family.
The holidays. Our way. We will not be bulldozed by what has become an out of control culture.
Do you face a similar situation?
Tuesday, November 5, 2019
7 comments:
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I understand Alana. Holidays can be so packed with emotions and memories good and bad. WE try to keep it very low key in my family, but even then the thought that this might be the last with all of us present is there. Happy and sad all at once. https://adventuresofthenewoldfarts.com/2019/11/04/accepting-the-sadness-of-aging/
ReplyDeleteThanksgiving is my favorite holiday. Christmas not so much. We always have out-of-town relatives staying with us during the holidays and even though I love them and enjoy seeing them, it is a lot of work and doesn't leave me with much energy for actually celebrating.
ReplyDeleteI like your attitude. Do the holidays in a way that brings you joy, not stress.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad that you took the time off that you needed, and that you're ready to move back towards enjoying the holiday season. Our family suffered the same thing as yours, but we also have a number of birthdays this time of year, so we stayed engaged not necessarily with the holidays, but with birthdays of those still with us who we love as much as we miss those who are gone.
ReplyDeleteI've been fortunate. No holidays have been, in any way, connected to trial or tragedy.
ReplyDeleteBut I think you're on the right track. Time to make new memories!
I remember a cousin's wife, a new widow with four children, contemplating the holidays for the first time without her spouse. She simply packed them all up and went to Hawaii for the entire season. "Time to make new memories," she said. And she did.
You can create brand new traditions. Or opt out. Last year I didn't get a Christmas. I had a cold that hit hardest on the 25th, so I missed it entirely.
ReplyDeleteLiz is right. New traditions must arise from the old and the tragedies. I have learned this and it is hard.
ReplyDelete