The 10th Anniversary

July 4, 2013.

It's been 10 long years.  Such a long 10 years since I spent my last "good" day with my best friend from childhood.  There's a reason why I have "good" in quotes and I'll get to that later.

Where do I begin?

I had wanted so much to be able to visit Gettysburg, Pennsylvania that week.   There was supposed to be a large gathering to commemorate the 150th anniversary a watershed Civil War battle that took place July 1-3 but, unfortunately, many people had the same idea and, unlike me, they didn't try to make last minute plans.

Spouse and I had already taken time off from work.

I was not happy, but then fate intervened.

First, I need to explain that many years ago, both this cousin (let's call her "H") and my childhood best friend (BFF) were house hunting in Brooklyn, a borough of New York City.  H has spent almost her entire life in Brooklyn.  BFF grew up with me in the Bronx (another borough of New York City) but, as an adult, moved to an apartment in Brooklyn at the time she got married.  Several years later, BFF and her husband were house hunting.

As it happens, so was cousin H and her husband.   H and BFF found themselves at the same Brooklyn open house.  

They hit it off.  They became friends, not knowing (at first) that they both knew someone else-me.

(Just as another fun fact, a good friend of BFF's husband was the son of my next door neighbor in the Bronx, proving that even New York City, with its eight million people, can be a small world at times.)

At some point, they found out they had me in common. 

Fast forward to 2013.  About a year and a half before, BFF had been diagnosed with cancer, one that did not have a good prognosis.  As the summer of 2013 opened, she was doing as well as could be hoped.

One late June day, H called me to catch up on life.  In talking with her, she mentioned that, on July 4, BFF had planned a BBQ.  Among other people, H and her husband was invited.  Too bad I couldn't be there, as I lived 150 miles away, and probably had other plans....or could I be?

I contacted BFF, and sure, we were welcome to come.  And, better yet, to stay with her and husband.

We came. We had a wonderful visit and 4th of July BBQ with BFF, H, and some of BFF's other friends. 

I never told some of the rest of the story on my blog, though, until now.

That evening of July 4, BFF and her husband, and my spouse and I, went to a Dunkin Donuts as sunset approached.  The neighborhood fireworks (all illegal) were just starting.  It took a lot of courage for my friend to step out.  A traumatic childhood incident had given her a great fear of fireworks. 

But she wanted to talk to me.  One thing I always loved about my friend was that you always knew where you stood with her.

Over some sweets, she told me that she was quite aware that there was no cure for her cancer, and she would not be around that much longer. She had already picked out where she would be interred.  She joked that it was near a shopping center so people would find it convenient.

This is not a story with a happy ending, I'm sorry to say.

This visit was the last time I saw my BFF "well". The next time I saw her, she was sick and went to the ER later that day. Not too long after, she was told the cancer had spread to her brain.

BFF passed away in 2015, four days after I saw her for the last time.  

May she forever rest in peace.

I'm a big believer in things happening for a reason.

If I I had been able to find lodging down in Gettysburg, I never would been able to go to that wonderful BBQ, and spend that quality time with her.

Each July 4, I think back on that special July 4 I spent in Brooklyn.  Today is its 10th anniversary.
 

Roses in bloom from that trip

May my readers in the United States have a happy and meaningful Independence Day.