Wednesday, September 26, 2018

The Luck of the Draw?

It's time to stop and admire the flowers, and ponder aging.


Will there ever be a time where going down to a nearby river and photographing wildflowers will be impossible, physically, for me?

Last night, my spouse spoke to a good friend of my declining mother in law on the phone.  She grew up about 25 years, and a couple of miles, from where I grew up in the Bronx.  We've known each other for almost 48 years - she was my mother in law's next door neighbor for many years.

She's a dynamo.  Several times a year she flies out to California to visit one of her daughters.  She's going to leave for California again shortly.  On the way back, she is going to go to the funeral of someone she knows in North Carolina, and will then visit someone else in South Carolina before she goes home to a New York City suburb.

I wish I had her energy! 

She hasn't had the easiest life.  She lost a son, who was born with a congenital heart condition, when he was a teenager.  Back then, there was no treatment for it.  She dotes on her three daughters and a collection of grandchildren.  She's been a widow for over 25 years.

This woman, who is in her late 80's, walks without any kind of assistance device.  She does have various health problems but has kept on despite them.  When I took the falls prevention class series in 2015 that I've blogged about from time, she eagerly listened to what I've learned and asked for a copy of the handouts.

Is she drinking from a fountain of youth?  I don't know, but right now I'm witnessing the two sides of aging.  The side of my mother in law, whose body is giving out, with a bonus side of early dementia.

And then, there's the other side of aging, which allows one to age with zest.

Do we have a choice in which side we will be in when we are that old?

Or is it just the luck of the draw?

7 comments:

  1. I think many factors are involved in the aging process. Some think a gene or set of genes may determine whether our active life expectancy is about 70 years or about 100 years. This year I believe I'm seeing a genetic sensitivity (to glyphosate) "age" my 83-year-old mother, who might otherwise have inherited the gene to stay active for 90-100 years. I'm still bouncing back fast from glyphosate poisoning incidents; Mother, not so fast.

    A cousin died this summer, from what he refused to admit was his usual glyphosate reaction (narcolepsy), during a neighborhood glyphosate pollution incident. "Well, it was painless and he was 89 years old." "Yes, but he was not *old*!"

    Oh well...everything has an expiration date, including life itself. I pray for you and your mother-in-aw.

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  2. So hard to say! I was going to be one of those people still jogging into my 80s. Then I blew my knee training for a marathon in my late 40s and could never run again. I've taken up other forms of exercise since, but none of them carry the 'punch' that running did. So you can certainly plan to keep on being that 'dynamo' but sometimes I think it IS just the luck of the draw! :)

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  3. Good question. I live in a 55+ community (my hubby and I are the youngest and considered the "babies" here---he's 60, I'm 57) and I'm amazed by the vibrancy of these folks. Our next door neighbor is 93 and still golfs every day. I think it is partly luck of the draw and partly how we've taken care of ourselves. As with most things, there isn't one single right answer to the question.

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  4. Yes, you have a choice. If you buy into the fear that growing old will slow you down, then it will. If you see your friend and say, "that's what it'll be like for me," then it will. At least, that's my belief.

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  5. I think it’s a combination, genetics and lifestyle. And, as Liz said, attitude

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  6. I think there are many factors that help people stay young. Probably the most important is to stay active. When you stop moving things start to break down. It also helps to reduce stress.

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  7. Alana,

    I hope I age with zest like your MIL's neighbor. It amazes me to see elderly folks with that kind of energy. My in-laws were a lot like that well into their years and then it was like suddenly they got old! I'm fighting the whole aging thing every step of the way. I think in body I am going to be ok, it's the mind I'm concerned about mostly and with good reason my children drive me crazy! Nah, just kidding. :) I'm not sorry for being such a lousy visitor. :(

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