A Summer Envy

On this first day of summer, I turn to the emotion of envy.  Envy strikes all of us, from time to time.  A couple of weeks ago, envy struck me when I least expected it.  I needed to consult with myself.

We see the good stuff, the visible stuff.  The fancy house.  The luxury car. The constant travel to exotic destinations you have wanted to visit your entire life.  The person who looks all put together every minute of the day, with perfect makeup, perfect clothes, perfect hair that has never seen a bad hair day.

We don't see the flip side.  The medical problems that person might have.  The bad marriage. The feelings of insecurity, depression or panic that shadow them wherever they go.   Perhaps their aging mother and father is in their last days.  Perhaps their teenaged or adult son or daughter is in a bad place and they constantly worry that they will get a phone call they dread.

My late mother in law told me a story once that took place in her younger years.  She was a young mother of three at the time, and there was someone in her life she envied.  

My mother in law did not have an easy life.  She experienced three cancers, including breast cancer back in the 1970's when women had a totally difference experience than they do today, along with other medical problems.  She gave birth to a son with what turned out to be autism  at a time when it was blamed on the mother.  She had absolutely no support.  

Despite all this, she found a lot of happiness in her life.

But there was a time she was envious of someone she knew, until she learned "the rest of the story".  She gave me some good advice about envy.  It's never productive.  Instead, look to the good things in your life.

Would we honestly want to trade our set of problems for another person's, she asked me.

There's a saying "count your blessings" for good reason, because it's a good practice.

On this first day of summer, I know I have many blessings in my life, too many to list.   For example, I made it to the first day of summer this year.  Not everyone I know did.  Not everyone I knew made it to the age I am, either.

Right now, we in New York State aren't in the heat dome much of the country (and some friends and family) are in.

I can take pictures of flowers, like these flowers in a rain shower last week. 

I, who grew up in a New York City apartment, can sit in a small yard (not as much work as a large one!).  Yesterday, I didn't have to work, and I watched house finches, a white breasted nuthatch and a male Northern cardinal at the feeder. A few minutes later, I saw a female ruby-throated hummingbird.

Over the winter, I saw the male Northern cardinal with one of his children in my yard.

I have day lilies blooming.

My spouse made me popcorn to snack on while I was out here.

I have the freedom to write a blog on whatever topic I wish.

On this first day of summer, I look forward to today.