The Void that Will Never Be Filled

 It is a common meme for bloggers to give advice to their younger selves.

Today, 50 years to the day after my mother died during the 1965 Northeast blackout, I would love nothing better to reach out to a 12 years old girl who had just been through one of the most traumatic nights of her life.

Yesterday, I blogged about a blackout, which affected some 30 million people in Canada and the Northeastern United States on November 9, 1965.  One of my commenters yesterday asked if my Mom had died because of the blackout.  I don't think so, although it may indirectly have contributed.

My mother had not been feeling well that day, and had come close to calling my father at work and asking him to come home.  But she didn't.  As a result, when the lights went out about 5:27 pm, my father was on a New York City subway, one of some 800,000 riders in transit that evening.  He didn't get out on the street until about 10:30 pm.

He had to wait on a long line for a pay phone to call home.   (If you are wondering why the phones worked, it was simple - these were true landlines, in 1965, and worked independently of the power grid.).

It was too late by the time he reached us. 

My father, eventually, did make it home.  Only as an adult, and later, as a mother, did I ever think of the trauma he went through that night and in the days and weeks later.  He had the added responsibility of having to raise me alone, in addition to losing the wife he loved.

Yesterday, I spent some time looking at pictures online taken that night in both New York City (where I grew up) and Boston.


It's sobering to realize that most all ofthe adults I interacted with during the blackout (and the people in those pictures) are now dead or elderly.  Here's a remembrance by a student whose grandfather was a young New York City policeman during the blackout.

But getting back to what the 62 year old me would tell that 12 year old girl, it is simple:

"Dear 12 year old me, who spent years blaming herself for her mother's death, you were not responsible.  You can't put responsibility on yourself for your mother's illness, or the events of that night.  But children, and in many ways you were still a child on that night, think in ways different than those of adults.  One day, you will know that. "

As I blogged about yesterday, it is hard for me to write about the events of that night and how they changed me forever.  Instead, I will turn to a book called Motherless Daughters - The Legacy of Loss by Hope Edelman. As it happens, my therapist was herself a motherless daughter, and knew this book would help me.  In some ways, it was like the book had been written just for me.  In fact, it was written as a result of hundreds of interviews with motherless daughters.  Daughters like me.

Ms. Edelman said, in the book:

“When a daughter loses a mother, the intervals between grief responses lengthen over time, but her longing never disappears. It always hovers at the edge of her awareness, prepared to surface at any time, in any place, in the least expected ways.”

In some ways, I envy those who have had their mothers all these years.  I never got to know my mother as an adult.  I suspect that my teen years would have been extremely stormy with her.  I sometimes wonder how different my life would have been.  Her hopes for me were not what I wanted to do with my life.

As Ms. Edelman also said:  “I truly believe that the death of my mother has made me the way I am today. I am a survivor, mentally strong, determined, strong willed, self-reliant, and independent. I also keep most of my pain, anger and feelings inside." It took me years to learn the lesson that sometimes you just have to reach out for help.  But still, I am a bit of an over planner - I tend to have plans A, B, C and D where others may be lucky to come up with a plan B.  I know this is a trait of motherless daughters.

I had a lawyer write my first will when I was in my 30's, before I even had a child.  How many women in their 30's write a will?

So I would also say to the 12 year old me, "You are a good person. Be good to yourself.  Be kind to yourself when you are feeling low. You can't control many things in life.  But you are stronger than you think.  You are capable of great things. Always remember that."

What advice would you give to your younger self?

Today is day 10 of NaBloPoMo, National Blog Posting Month.

Music Monday - The Night the Music Died

Today, much of the Northeast United States commemorates the 50th anniversary of the Blackout of November 9, 1965.

On the evening of November 9, 1965, I was 12 years old and in 8th grade.  I was walking home from a girl friend's house. I had spent the afternoon with her, pounding my "great American novel" out on her typewriter.  It was getting dark.

About 5:20 pm I entered my apartment house to find the lights dimming, flickering, and coming back on again.

What I did not know was that a chain reaction power failure had started several minutes before, up in Canada.  Like a wave, city after city went dark.  Now, in New York City, it was our turn.  By the time the chain reaction ended, some 30 million people were in the dark, dependent on a full moon for their light.

An elevator was waiting in the lobby of my apartment building; I made a split second decision not to take it and took the stairs to my 4th floor apartment instead.

A couple of minutes after entering it, my apartment went dark.  We were more fortunate than many - growing up Jewish, we had candles - plenty of them, in the house.  I had a battery powered radio and, listening to it, gradually realized it wasn't just our neighborhood.

You can experience it as if it was today, thanks to You Tube and this aircheck from WABC radio in New York City. 

800,000 people were stuck on the subways- my father was one of them.I was alone with my mother.  But it was not a party for me.

By the time our electricity was restored (around 6am the next morning), my life had changed forever. For me, it was one of the darkest nights of my life.

During the blackout, my mother, who had not been in the best of health, died.  It is something incredibly hard for me to write about.  The echoes of that night still resonate in me, and always will.

But, time does heal. I can face that night better now, through the filter of nostalgia, and writing this blog post is another part of the healing process.

If you enjoy nostalgia, watch the first few minutes of this WNBC news program covering the blackout.

Here is coverage from Canada.

If you are interested in hearing the songs mentioned in the aircheck from WABC radio, here they are:

 Everyone's Gone to the Moon - Jonathan King

Up the Lazy River by Si Zentner and his Orchestra

And one song from 1968 that incorporated the blackout into the lyrics - Massachusetts, by the Bee Gees.

Today is day 9 of NaBloPoMo. Use the link and find other blogs you may enjoy reading.

Is It Time for Venus Paradise Coloring Sets to Return?

Adult coloring.  It is gaining popularity right now in the United States.  Our local public library even has a Wednesday evening adult coloring class club.

A blogger who blogs at Fifty Jewels even emailed me some coloring pages yesterday.

So many choices.

Westover, near Johnson City, New York, November 7

But, even with all of these adult coloring pages, I still want to return to my childhood.  When I see a sky like this, it reminds me of the Venus Paradise coloring sets of my youth.

I wish someone would bring those sets back, and the pencils that came with them.  There is a company, fortunately, still making sets like them.

But never mind that.  I want my Venus Paradise sets to return.  Now that adult coloring is back, perhaps someone could get these started up again?

I still miss Peacock Blue, #7.  Artists miss the pencils, too - they say they were high quality.

Take a trip down memory lane (if you remember them, and even if you don't remember them) with me.  I've republished this post a couple of times since I first blogged it in 2011 - it is one of my favorite posts.

Color By Number - Memories of Paradise

Yesterday evening, coming home from my water aerobics class, the sky reminded me of the sky of a color by number painting.  All those shades of blue and light purple.

Do you remember color by number?  It was really popular in the 1950's and early 1960's, when I was growing up.   You can still find color by number in paint today.  But what my family loved was the Venus Paradise sets.  They were color pencil color by numbers.  They had sets geared to all ages - from children old enough to color to adults.

The pencils were numbered, and you got the pencils you needed for your set with the set.  My favorite was #7, Peacock Blue. You can even find the list of colors online (except for two "mystery colors").  It would seem that some older artists miss them, too - they were high quality but as a child, I just took them for granted.

My Dad and I would color together.  I would have my child's set and he an adult set.  I remember one in particular, set with famous buildings.  I remember him in particular working on a Taj Mahal picture.  I looked at him color with great concentration.  He put wax paper on top of the part of the picture he had completed so it would not smear.

His picture had so much detail.  You could barely make out some of the numbers in the small portions.  But I would grow up one day and be able to do complicated pictures just like my Dad!

Except I lost interest, until my son was born.

I went to all the stores (when he was old enough to color) and no one had them.  In fact, I couldn't find any kind of color by number pencil art set, period.

Venus Paradise is out of business.  And, I couldn't even find a set on eBay (I did find a couple of auctions for the pencils.)

The good news is that there is a pencil color by number set out there now. Better yet, the people who own the business remember Venus Paradise.  So perhaps a new generation of children will remember pencil by number sets fondly.

In writing this post, I find my spouse remembers the sets too.  He thinks when he retires, it might be fun to buy one.  But sadly, this is something I'm not sure will ever return to favor for the general population.

So....do you remember Venus Paradise?

Local Saturday -Suspended Between Fall and Fell

A local writer writes about someone she knows, who divides autumn into two seasons: fall and fell.

We are almost finished with fall here in the southern tier of upstate New York and are entering fell, if you look at the season the way she does.  But fall is still with us for a few more days.  Please come with me on a little local journey as I explore fall with my iPhone camera.  Let's take some pictures that explore the various facets of our fall season.

First, some autumn foliage.  So fleeting, the moments of color.  Enjoy them now, as in a few days, they will lie, abandoned, on the ground.

Speaking of abandoned, our normal cloudy weather has returned, muting the golden goodness of my backyard.  My neighborhood trees are some of the last to turn, due to our microclime.  I will try to get a good picture tomorrow.

The Cider Mill in Endicott, New York is still making cider, and still selling apples.

And, it is still making donuts, so beloved by our area.

Our area is apple growing country.  We take it for granted, sometimes, that we can walk into a farm market (even at this time of year) and find 10 or 15 varieties of apples.  Some are the familiar ones sold in supermarkets throughout the United States.  Others aren't, such as Pippen and Northern Spy.  Some of these varieties will also make it into our local cider.

Every day must end.

Almost the same scene, a few minutes later

But not without a floor show.  I watched the sunset briefly with one of the children of my neighbor, who has long since vanished into the sad world of dementia.

Now, I blog, and later, I may bake some apples.

What did you do today?

Today is day 7 of NaBloPoMo, National Blog Posting Month. 

Finding Time for Anti-Falling Exercises

I'm sitting here, 7pm on a Thursday night, and realizing that I have not done all of today's balance exercises.

"I'm too busy", we all say to ourselves.

One day, we won't be too busy to sit in a rehab center, or in a hospital room, or even worse, lie in a nursing home, if we injure ourselves one too many times by falling.  Hit your head, and life as you know it may be over, as it is for the mother of one of my in laws. Broken hips equal a low life expectancy in a senior, and my spouse's 103 year old aunt broke a hip last year.  Falls can break bones in any of us.

I've been lucky - so far.  I am 62 years old.  I have fallen several times already with resulting bruises but no broken bones.  Yet.  This past May, I decided to take matters in my own hands and attend a falls prevention class.  Here in the Binghamton, New York area, we are fortunate because of our large senior population, to have a number of these programs.  They are inexpensive and well worth your time.

So, how do we find the time in our busy lives to practice falls prevention?  Here are four ways to balance time with balance exercises to help our balance.

1.  Exercise first thing in the morning, right when we get up.  That works for me - sometimes.
2.  If we take mass transit, exercise at the bus stop.  Some exercises can be done holding a bus stop pole, for example, heel stands.
3.  Do you work?  If possible, devote 10 minutes of your lunch to the exercises.  If you have a desk job, you can do two of the exercises sitting down (sit to stand, and leg raises).  In fact, the sit to stand exercise can be one of the most important exercises you ever do.
4.  At home, do you watch TV? Several of the exercises can be done while watching TV - for example, raising your legs while in a sitting position, and rotating them.

It's all about practice.  (And remember, it's best to learn these exercises from a professional who teaches balance/fall prevention. )

Practice your balance today.  Your life may depend on it.

Do you have problems with falls?

This is day 6 of NaBloPoMo, brought to us by BlogHer, where hundreds of bloggers have committed to blogging every day in November.  I invite you to click on the link and visit other participating blogs.

Throwback Thursday - The Dinosaurs of Broome County

Here is a post from 2010, updated in 2011.  I was reminded of this when I peeked through the window of a pawn shop in downtown Binghamton, New York, and saw a carousel horse for sale.

It wasn't one of these, but carousels are a big part of the heritage of this area - and so are dinosaurs.

Have you ever read The Wizard of Id or BC comics?  The cartoonist, Johnny Hart, grew up in Endicott, New York (near where I live) in Broome County, and lived for many years in a nearby small town.  His grandson now draws the comics.

Some of Johnny Hart's characters, including the dinosaur "BC",  decorate signs belonging to various Broome County parks, mass transit, and other landmarks.

Here, now, is a little taste of our area of upstate New York.

Do you enjoy The Wizard of Id or BC?

The Tooth and Audioclassic Dinosaurs

The post below from 2010 is still my all time popular blog post.  Although the hART of BC project (started by the late cartoonist Johnny Hart's grandson, who is carrying on the BC comic strip that inspired this art event) came to a halt when unknown vandals started damaging the dinosaurs, these dinosaurs still have a place in my....er, heart. 

I'd like to showcase this piece of happier days in Binghamton, as we face some of the biggest challenges our area has known.

Earlier this year, I tried to find out whatever happened to the dinosaurs, and wasn't successful.  But I am happy to report that I have found two of the dinosaurs.  And, hopefully, the outdoor one will NOT be vandalized - the fate of so many of the dinosaurs in the original post below.

The first dinosaur is in front of a business on Old Vestal Road in Vestal called Audio Classics - and may I add that you don't have to live locally to patronize this business.  They are top notch - please visit their website and support one of our awesome local businesses!

The other dinosaur is inside a dental practice in Johnson City and I tried my best to take a picture.  It has Halloween cobwebs on it, but you can see the dinosaur, decorated with smiles and toothbrushes.

And now, the post from 2010. 

Binghamton Does Dinosaurs!

Here are some other hART of BC dino sightings in and around downtown Binghamton, yesterday evening.

This first one-yes, it's a medical dino - comes to us courtesy of the Ladies Auxiliary of the local hospital.

This next one is one of my favorites.  Very simple but elegant.  The "coin" dinosaur.  (the bumps are pennies) in just the right location..

The "apartment building" 'saur.  And the "money" dinosaur.  The first is in front of the Broome County Courthouse (called GRRRR Hart) and the second (Hart on the Range) in front of Metrocenter (a failed downtown shopping mall, now converted to offices.)  For the latter, this dinosaur may represent the parking at Metrocenter - which if I remember correctly, is $20 to discourage the unfortunate office workers of downtown from daring to even TRY to use THEIR parking lot. 

So, what's next? (and the last for tonight).  A musical dinosaur.  Brought to us by Rogers and HART? (couldn't resist.)  This baby is called the Philhartmonic.

Fall Fancies - Enjoying the Moment

My spouse has a cousin and his wife visiting our area.  They are originally from New York, moved as adults to New Jersey, and retired to Florida about three years ago.

Upstate New York decided to greet them with unseasonably warm weather and the last part of our fall season. Shall we enjoy what they are enjoying?

This was on the West Side of Binghamton yesterday.

The sun had just set, and this red is so deep, it hurts your eyes.

In years past we never would have had this kind of color in the first week of November.

In another week, this weather will probably be a distant memory.  Let us enjoy the beautiful moment while we can.

Thank you for giving me the opportunity of sharing this beauty with you on this, the 4th day of NaBloPoMo. Click on the link and enjoy other bloggers committed to blogging every day in November. 

How to Lose Voters on Facebook

Today, in the United States, it is Election Day.

Where I live in upstate New York, we have no major (governor, President) races going on.  Our races are local.

I was planning to vote for a candidate.  Many people were - he was leading by a substantial margin, according to the polls.  Until, that is, this weekend.  I saw him everytime I opened Facebook.  On my computer. On my phone.  There, right in my face, was an ad for him.  Each time. 

Somehow this person had targeted me as a supporter.  Except, after a couple of days of seeing his ads, I was liking him less and less.  I discovered I really didn't like some of what he was supporting.  No, change that.  I was not liking those sponsored ads at all.

He was educating me about him, all right.

Yesterday, I opened Facebook while my son was visiting.  I wanted to show him the ads.

"You know, Mom", he said, not even rolling his eyes, "you can hide those ads."

Sure enough, I could (and did).

But the damage was done.  I'm voting for his opponent.  I never thought the opponent was bad, just that my candidate was better.  To me, it is a comfortable choice.

Have political ads ever changed your mind about how you were going to vote?

I'm participating in day three of NaBloPoMo.  Come check out the posts of other bloggers committing to daily blogging in November.

Music Monday - On the Streets of the Bronx

I haven't discussed my childhood in the Bronx very much on my blog.  A couple of years, I wrote a memoir manuscript that I will try to return to one day, to start the hard and painful work of editing.

Suffice it to say that I spent my first 21 years in two different New York City housing projects - one in Queens for my first five months, and the remainder of that in a New York City housing project in the Bronx in a neighborhood called Williamsbridge, just off Gun Hill Road.

So what does that have to do with music?

A lot, if you are into hip hop music, because it was being born around me when I was busy trying to go to college and escape from that very same housing project.  It was born in a housing project some four miles from where I was growing up, not long before I left.

Hip hop is not a music that I get into that much, although there are some exceptions.

Today, I want to introduce you to some music by a man who now calls himself Afrika Bambaataa.

But this man, born Kevin Donovan in the Bronx in 1957, had taken a very different path at the time I was growing up.

At one time, this man was the warlord of a major gang called the Black Spades.  My neighborhood was part of their territory.  My memories of their presence are not happy ones.  But now, when I read about these men who are in their 50's and 60's, I see something much different than what I saw in the 1970's.

Something happened to the Kevin Donovan and the Black Spades as they transformed themselves from a powerful street gang to something else.

They entered into a peace treaty with other gangs. They became interested in social justice, and....in music.  If you enjoy hip hop music today, you owe a great debt of gratitude to Afrika Bambaataa and others of the former Black Spades.

This mainly happened after I left the Bronx for good in 1974, but it makes for some fascinating reading, if you are interested in the subject of what became (and still exists as) the Universal Zulu Nation.

 And if you aren't - there is the music, which will make you want to dance.

If you have about seven minutes, listen to the story of Yellow Benjie, of a different gang called the Ghetto Brothers -  I have read the graphic novel Ghetto Brother, and highly recommend it. (There's a twist to Yellow Benjie's life that I especially identified with.)

This is day two of NaBloPoMo - head on over and enjoy some other bloggers dedicated this month to daily blogging.

The Death of Summer

In many parts of the world, today and tomorrow, they celebrate a holiday called the Day of the Dead.

On these days, those who have predeceased us are remembered.   On midnight of October 31 (our Halloween), the gates of heaven open and the spirits of children are released.  Then, on November 2, the spirits of the adults join them.  In the meantime, millions of people have prepared food, sugry treats and flowers to greet them.

There is something very appealing to me right now about this holiday.  Over the last few months, I, and people who I know, have lost loved ones.  My best friend from childhood died in September.  I know someone whose brother died last month.  Someone I graduated from high school with lost his son.  An in law lost her best friend's son and a cousin, and her mother may not be with us for very much longer.  My mother in law lost a friend.

I can not celebrate a virtual Day of the Dead, but I would like to publish some photos I hope will bring me closer to their spirits.

Today I commemorate the Death of Summer.

October 31, 2015

West Lawn Cemetery in Johnson City, New York, a Jewish cemetery dating from 1895.

A spooky combination in Johnson City - a smoke tree and a sapling whose leaves have turned orange.

An abandoned, and soon to be demolished, factory building near Johnson City, New York, taken just before dawn on October 20.

But the true death of summer is the first day of Standard Time here in the United States - when it is dark not long after 5pm, and you truly know that winter is just around the corner.

Spirits, rest well.

Today is the first day of NaBloPoMo - if you enjoyed this post, check out some of the other great bloggers who are blogging daily during the month of November.

Local Saturday - Boo!

Today is October 31 - in the United States, it is Halloween.

This holiday has evolved from an ancient Celtic holiday to an occasion of children and adults dressing up in costumes, asking people in their neighborhood for candy ("Trick or treat!"), parties, and trunk or treat.

And, oh yes, decorating your house or apartment.

In our country, Halloween has become a decorating holiday only second to Christmas.  People will spend a lot of money on Halloween decorations - unlike when I was growing up in the 1950's, we might set out a carved pumpkin, but that is about it.

This blog post is my most visited - sadly, most visited by spammers, that is.  But if you click, you will see some yard decorating from three years ago, downstate (as we say) New York, in Yonkers, near New York City. I'd love to have some actual visitors, and comments, on that blog.

As for Binghamton, here is a front yard dressed up as a graveyard, complete with a beautiful red bush.

This is more my speed - zombie apples.

How about some spooky urban legends? Click on the one for Arkansas - I lived in the city they are discussing years ago, and I never knew of all the haunted areas around where I lived 30 years ago.

My home area of Binghamton, New York has its share of haunted places, too - and I've been to a couple of them.

But now, shall we change the subject?

We still have plenty of fall color in the Binghamton area of New York State.

Orange (just in time for Halloween).

And, even a late blooming rose.

Tomorrow, my Civil War Sunday is still on hiatus.  It will be the first day of NaBloPoMo - and you still have time to register, and join a community of hundreds of bloggers who commit to blogging every day.

Is Halloween a big deal where you live?

Falling Friday - Preparing for Winter

Fall, for some, is the most wonderful time of the year.

It's a time of beauty, of seeing how nature decorates.

But it is followed by winter, here in upstate New York.

Winter is a special challenge to the elderly.  I took a falls prevention class this past May and June.  I was (at 62) the youngest person in the class.

I was saddened, but not surprised, to find that many seniors in my falls prevention class do not try to venture out during the winter.

And here, in upstate New York, we have a long winter.

Why? Fear of falling.  

The falls prevention class taught us a number of techniques to deal with winter.  They include:

Taking our time in walking or getting to a destination.

If we know we won't be leaving a restaurant or store until dark, being sure we park under a light.

Keeping handrails on our outdoor steps firm. Using tread material on the stairs (which remind me, mine need to be replaced.)

Wearing boots with non skid soles. Totes makes them, and there are my L.L. Bean snow sneakers.

Walking like a penguin.

Making sure, if you walk with a cane, you use a winter tip.

We were told to consider Yaktrax or a similar product. These slip over the soles of your shoes, and provide a lot of traction on ice and snow.  My guest photographer, who lives in the countryside, swears by them.

I used a similar product one year, and had problems balancing on it.  I have not used Yaktrax.  One caution, though - on non ice covered surfaces, the yaktrax become quite slippery.  (You don't want to walk on your wood laminate floors with them on, for example.)

Or, you can use walking sticks, hiking sticks or hiking poles.  Our instructor explained these make you look sporty or fit. 

Sadly, watching someone use a cane brings up quite a different image in our society - the cane user is old, helpless, and other like stereotypes.  But snow poles?  It's athletic!  It's physical fitness! It's exercise!

But, for me and others, the fear of falling remains. 

Do you have any techniques for staying safe in snow you would want to share with my readers?

Throwback Thursday - Fright and NaNoWriMo

It is the hour of decision.

Should I participate in an annual writing competition called NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writer's Month) this year?

I won't draw out the suspense.

This year, I am going to sit NaNoWriMo out, although my spouse is telling me that perhaps I should participate. 


Rather, for the first time in several months, I am going to join a blogging challenge - the similarly named NaBloPoMo.  In that way, I can continue the daily blogging I enjoy doing (usually) through, at least, November.

No pressure, no word count, no problem!

For my Throwback Thursday, this post from October 31, 2013 is perfect - it combines Halloween decorations with my then-preparations for my second NaNoWriMo.  The fright I was experiencing is the fright all writers experience at one time or another.

Fright and NaNoWriMo

Today it's Halloween.   A time for decorating, for trick or treating, for pretending you are things you aren't. And to prepare for a writing marathon.

Halloween decorations have become so popular in the United States these last few years, that you find them almost everywhere.

In Northwest Arkansas, for example, when I visited in August, some decorations were already up. (this was in a Wal Mart parking lot.) I loved the hay bale jack o'lantern.

I found another hay bale jack o'lantern at a local Southern Tier of New York dairy farm.

Here in upstate New York, bushes are covered in fake spider webs. Pumpkins rest on porches.  Inflatable witches rest in some front yards.

In a downtown Binghamton apartment, a space under a window has been transformed into a graveyard.

On the West Side of Binghamton, another front yard graveyard.

This is "fake" death and fright, though.  Sometimes, the scary truth is just a few hundred feet away.

In downtown Binghamton we have a 9/11 monument, complete with a girder from the former World Trade Center.  Knowing that there are groups who would love nothing better than to inflict this kind of pain on the world (and having just done so, in Kenya, not too long ago) is truly scary.

And, there is one more type of fright.  The fright of the writer facing a blank computer screen.

Tomorrow I start my participation in NaNoWriMo. This requires me to write 50,000 words in 30 days. Last year was my first time, but this year I am actually a bit scared.  Will I be able to write 50,000 words devoted to a memoir?  I've already written some 20,000 words of memory in two previous Camp NaNoWriMos.  But this is the big time.  My reputation is at stake. I have fans rooting for me! I have writing buddies!

Gulp. Nothing Halloween can scare up for fake fright can compare with this.

Fall Fancies - Nature's Coloring Book

Here it is, October 28, and our trees in upstate New York are still proudly displaying fall color.

Consider this selection, from the past three days:

A Japanese maple, on the west side of Binghamton, New York.

A magnolia, near the Broome County Courthouse in Binghamton, New York.

A selection of young trees on the campus of Binghamton University.

And my personal favorite - I have no idea what kind of bush this is, but I love what nature has doodled within its leaves.  No, this is not an exotic houseplant.  It's ore like Nature's coloring book.

Alas, for us, the fall season is almost over.  On the hills surrounding Binghamton, more and more trees are bare.  Here in the valley, it is almost a matter of days. We've already had several frosts. We've already had our first snow (no real accumulation, but just wait a few days).

Winter is just around the corner.  Soon, white will reign.

Enjoy the color while you can.

To that end, my "falling Friday" will celebrate more fall this Friday.

What is your weather like today?

Will I Take the Writing Pledge?

On Sunday, an annual competition called NaNoWriMo begins.  This is a competition against yourself - writers are challenged to write 50,000 words during the month of November.  The aim is to write, not to edit, not to perfect.

I've participated three times - in 2012, 2013 and 2014.  I do not know if I will try to participate this year.  On the one hand, my time is limited.  On the other hand a lot of people's time is limited.

If I write, I have more words written than if I don't write. 

If you look below, you will see the pledge NaNoWriMo asks us to take this year.  The part about the mockery if you don't succeed rubs me (to use a cliche) the wrong way.  I am way past winning or losing - until I realize I am not.  I'm sure it's meant to be light hearted, but right now, it is hitting a nerve.  A deep nerve.  Because I haven't won by winning three times.

I've been a "rebel" in the past, writing non fiction (a memoir) one year.  Last year, I wrote what started as a dystopian novel of Brooklyn in the 2060's, and that manuscript still, sometimes, calls to me, asking me to revisit and edit.

Believe it or not, my long suffering spouse doesn't mind if I try it again, despite obligations that take up an increasing amount of time.

But will I do it?  

I have never brought out any of the other manuscripts to edit and try to polish up, either.   NaNoWriMo, for me, would just be a rerun, and not an opportunity for growth.  If I want to grow as a writer, I must grow past untouched manuscripts on a laptop.

I will announce my decision on Thursday. 

In the meantime, I will leave you with the pledge participants are supposed to take this year.

"I hereby pledge my intent to write a 50,000-word novel in one month’s time.

By invoking an absurd, month-long deadline on such an enormous undertaking, I understand that notions of “craft,” “brilliance,” and “competency” are

to be chucked right out the window, where they will remain, ignored, until

they are retrieved for the editing process. I understand that I am a talented

person, capable of heroic acts of creativity, and I will give myself enough time

over the course of the next month to allow my innate gifts to come to the surface, unmolested by self-doubt, self-criticism, and other acts of self-bullying.

During the month ahead, I realize I will produce clunky dialogue, clichéd characters, and deeply flawed plots. I agree that all of these things will

be left in my rough draft, to be corrected and/or excised at a later point. I

understand my right to withhold my manuscript from all readers until I deem

it completed. I also acknowledge my right as author to substantially inflate

both the quality of the rough draft and the rigors of the writing process should

such inflation prove useful in garnering me respect and attention, or freedom

from participation in onerous household chores.

I acknowledge that the month-long, 50,000-word deadline I set for

myself is absolute and unchangeable, and that any failure to meet the deadline, or any effort on my part to move the deadline once the adventure has

begun, will invite well-deserved mockery from friends and family. I also acknowledge that, upon successful completion of the stated noveling objective, I am entitled to a period of gleeful celebration and revelry, the duration

and intensity of which may preclude me from participating fully in workplace activities for days, if not weeks, afterward."

Are you going to take the pledge?  Do you plan to participate in NaNoWriMo?

Music Monday - A Farewell

Last week, we in upstate New York and around the world said goodbye to a singer of a group called Three Dog Night.   They were formed in 1967 and they were a part of my high school and college years.

One of their original members, Cory Wells, died last week at the age of 74, apparently from an infection related to his battle with multiple myeloma.  Cory had not wanted his fans to know he had cancer.

Wells was a native of Buffalo, New York.

I wanted to pay tribute to him on my Music Monday, realizing that many of my readers are not from the United States, and may not have been alive during the time Three Dog Night was popular.

But, one of the things I loved about Three Dog Night was their harmony.

Here are some songs where Cory sang lead.

Eli's Coming - a Laura Nyro song, and my personal favorite.

A live version of a song called Celebrate.

Their version of a 1930's song - Try a Little Tenderness.

And finally, a favorite of many - Joy To The World.

Cory was one of many music artists who have passed on in 2015.  They will all be missed.

That concludes my Music Monday feature - it's been fun, and I will leave future music posts to the expert music bloggers.  It was fun, though, and I may still do it from time to time.

Civil War Sunday - A Winery

Today, on Civil War Sunday, I am going to be lazy and let another blogger do the writing.

Actually, I was fascinated by this post because of visiting Manassas, Virginia, the site of the first major land Civil War battle, back in July of 1861.

The Battle of First Manassas, in the South.

The Battle of First Bull Run, in the North. (Yes, we even named many Civil War battles differently, depending on which side of the war you were on.)

And then, in 1862, there was a second battle, almost (but not quite) in the same place as the first battle.  That kind of thing was not unusual in the Civil War, sadly.

It is so important to preserve history.  And this is where a winery, located on historic land, may help.

The entire area is full of history - and, something I never realized, wineries.  It will be worth a trip for "one day".  I am grateful for this blogger, whose link I feature today.

So today, for a change, enjoy a story about history - and wine.  

Whatever works to preserve history....

Local Saturday - The Last Call of Summer

This is, for many farm stands and farmers markets here in upstate New York, the last week of normal operation.

Our growing season is over.

Right now, the markets are bursting with fresh produce picked right before the frost. We are so fortunate to have a bounty of local food and a generous harvest this year.  It was a great year especially for a crop our area depends on, apples.

But in another week, the tents will fold.  The buildings with their now-overflowing bins will lie empty.  People will sit in their living room and dream of a bounty that will come again, hopefully, next year.

Today, though, we still have bounty. These photos were taken today at Frog Pond Farms near Bainbridge, New York.  You have to be careful of what you buy there - some of the produce is of good quality, some is not.  But the prices are right, especially if you buy in bulk.  And, the market is quite child friendly- a wonderful place to bring the family.

This morning, in the unheated building, it was bitter cold.  I was wearing my winter coat, but I am not used to the seasonal weather quite yet.

My spouse and I were greeted by winter squash and pokemon pumpkins.

Brussel sprouts - not my favorite, but  they make a pretty picture, don't they?

And finally, peppers.

We are hoping that, by next fall, we have a year round indoor farmers market.  Ground was broken on it this week.  It is long overdue.  People without cars can not reach Frog Pond - and there is a great need in Binghamton, and nearby communities, for this bounty.

And now, it is winter's turn to reign.

Do you have access to locally grown food during your climate's growing season?

Falling Friday - Never Too Young

A father should never have to bury his son.  But, thanks to a fall down a flight of stairs at home, with resulting brain trauma, someone in my high school graduating class had to do that earlier this week.

His son, a beloved gym teacher in Queens, was 39.  He left a pregnant wife and a young son.

His friends and family wonder "why?"

A life cut short is tragic. We all mourn the death of a young person, the death of a child preceding the death of his or her parents, because it is not part of the "natural order of things".

But now, let's fast forward some 50 years.

In a normal week, I probably would have blogged instead about Bob Barker, the long time host of the American game show The Price is Right.  Barker, now 91, tripped and fell outside his home and hit his head on the sidewalk.  Two police officers happened to be passing by and witnessed the fall.  They called an ambulance, so he got immediate help. 

I remember Bob Barker so well on The Price is Right.  He hosted the show for 35 years, into his 80's.

People would say "he was old, people fall when they are old and it is the natural order of things".  Bob Barker cut his head and hurt his knee.  It remains to see if this injury impacts the remainder of his life. It so easily could have been a brain injury, too.

It is never the natural order of things to fall.  At 39, at 91, it is equally tragic.

Do not ever minimize the power of a fall.  It is an equal opportunity killer. 

Education is the first step.

Throwback Thursday - The Hunger that Will Not Die

A perfect throwback post from March of this year.  It is obvious (once you read the post) that the friend found spring.  But now, the seasons have turned, and we are almost at winter again.

Halloween is only a little more than a week away, and the topic of snow zombies is perfect.  At the end of a harsh upstate New York winter, this is what you should expect.

I only hope we can escape the Zombied Snowcopolyse this coming winter.

And now.....The Hunger that Will not Die, with photos by my guest photographer.

 .  .  .

Near Binghamton, New York, the Third Week of March of 2015, wrote the survivor in her blog.

Day #917 of winter (or so it felt.)

Oh yes, it is pretty out there in the countryside where the guest photographer lives, the diary continued. But don't be fooled by those pretty icicles in the picture.

Here's the sad truth, she wrote.

Zombied out people, sick of snow, sick of no green, sick of shoveling, sick of nights still dipping into the teens, have left for the Carolinas to search for spring.  "Spring.  We must have spring!", they cried as they left.

"Spring is the hunger that will not die." the blogger explained just before she left with her spouse, too

They drove away, leaving her to the mercies of the snow, the wind.

The guest photographer knew she was one of the few survivors of the Zombied Snowcopolyse.  Now she decided to hunt in search of Spring, accompanied by her favorite dog.

Alas, she will not find Spring today. Or tomorrow.  Or, apparently, anytime soon.

But then she got this picture from her blogging friend.

"I found spring!", her friend said. "I swear to you I will bring her back to upstate New York."

So, our story ends here for now.

Will she soften the hard heart of Spring?  Or, will the guest photographer continue to fight through the Zombied Snowcopolyse?